Post by Rockstar Spud on Aug 27, 2020 8:21:28 GMT -5
Fringe happily skips to a Postbox in the centre of Vienna high street. Panda and Ziggy grin watching on as he does.
FRINGE
PRAGUE HERE WE COME!!
ZIGGY AND PANDA
PRAGUE HERE WE COME!!!
PRAGUE HERE WE COME!!
ZIGGY AND PANDA
PRAGUE HERE WE COME!!!
CROSSFADE TO KEVIN KELLY'S INTERVIEW AREA
Spud walks by.
KEVIN KELLY
Rockstar Spud can we get a word?
SPUD
Sure Kev.
KEVIN KELLY
Any word on the Austin Administration and specifically Batista?
SPUD
Yeah, a few actually. You see Dave's an actor and he acts like he's not a mindless pile of muscles bending to will of a washed up old hack clinging to his glory years. Dave's in Marvel, Dave's in the new Blade Runner film, Dave is making more money, is in better shape and has no need to involve himself in this world, so Dave's silly, go back to Hollywood Dave, don't end up like Austin. I'm pissed off, but am I pissed off with that buffoon, no. I'm pissed off with the leader of the Spud fan club, he loves Spud so much that he got his pile of muscles involved in my match and I won.
KEVIN KELLY
So you're pissed off.
SPUD
Yes Kevin i'm pissed off, I win my matches myself, it's bullshit and the fans are being deprived of the matches they deserve because of it. Although here's something that Austin almost definitely overlooked, one person has every reason to be more pissed off than me, you made a new enemy last week. A 370lbs problem, you see if you beat a champion, you get a title shot, generally. Prince Albert was on the cusp of beating me, Dave Batista took that away from him, I'm pretty sure Camp Kelly would love another trophy adorning one of their members and I think Albert himself probably has aspirations beyond being Priscilla's substitute. So Mr Animal, Mr Hollywood, one of the few guys here bigger than you, is likely looking for you now, good luck with that. Austin needs to choose his battles more wisely, having your knight make move like that leaves your king very vulnerable and Steve, you've got 2 bum knees, a bum neck, arthritis, you ain't in the shape you used to be and you're clinging to this idea that you're still the Rattlesnake, you're not, you're a man in his mid 50's with a podcast and nothing new to say, you're no better than Eric Bischoff or Bruce Pritchard right now. That's all I've gotta say about Mr Austin and his Corporation, no wait, Authority, no wait, Administration because that's original.
KEVIN KELLY
Wow, okay erm, any word on your opponent tonight Orange Cassidy?
SPUD
Orange is awesome, it's gonna be a good match if Mr McM.... Austin can keep his nose out.
KEVIN KELLY
So we've heard the news that Laci will be taking some time away, what does that mean for you guys going forward?
SPUD
I wish her all the best, she's a great girl, we just didn't fit like that, it's no big deal really, I'm more focussed on wrestling now than ever.
KEVIN KELLY
Any final words?
SPUD
Read the shirt cause I'm gonna be selling them for a very fucking long time. Austin can get his panties in a twist over it all he likes, regardless of company roles and who makes the matches, he just lives here, I run shit here.
Rockstar Spud can we get a word?
SPUD
Sure Kev.
KEVIN KELLY
Any word on the Austin Administration and specifically Batista?
SPUD
Yeah, a few actually. You see Dave's an actor and he acts like he's not a mindless pile of muscles bending to will of a washed up old hack clinging to his glory years. Dave's in Marvel, Dave's in the new Blade Runner film, Dave is making more money, is in better shape and has no need to involve himself in this world, so Dave's silly, go back to Hollywood Dave, don't end up like Austin. I'm pissed off, but am I pissed off with that buffoon, no. I'm pissed off with the leader of the Spud fan club, he loves Spud so much that he got his pile of muscles involved in my match and I won.
KEVIN KELLY
So you're pissed off.
SPUD
Yes Kevin i'm pissed off, I win my matches myself, it's bullshit and the fans are being deprived of the matches they deserve because of it. Although here's something that Austin almost definitely overlooked, one person has every reason to be more pissed off than me, you made a new enemy last week. A 370lbs problem, you see if you beat a champion, you get a title shot, generally. Prince Albert was on the cusp of beating me, Dave Batista took that away from him, I'm pretty sure Camp Kelly would love another trophy adorning one of their members and I think Albert himself probably has aspirations beyond being Priscilla's substitute. So Mr Animal, Mr Hollywood, one of the few guys here bigger than you, is likely looking for you now, good luck with that. Austin needs to choose his battles more wisely, having your knight make move like that leaves your king very vulnerable and Steve, you've got 2 bum knees, a bum neck, arthritis, you ain't in the shape you used to be and you're clinging to this idea that you're still the Rattlesnake, you're not, you're a man in his mid 50's with a podcast and nothing new to say, you're no better than Eric Bischoff or Bruce Pritchard right now. That's all I've gotta say about Mr Austin and his Corporation, no wait, Authority, no wait, Administration because that's original.
KEVIN KELLY
Wow, okay erm, any word on your opponent tonight Orange Cassidy?
SPUD
Orange is awesome, it's gonna be a good match if Mr McM.... Austin can keep his nose out.
KEVIN KELLY
So we've heard the news that Laci will be taking some time away, what does that mean for you guys going forward?
SPUD
I wish her all the best, she's a great girl, we just didn't fit like that, it's no big deal really, I'm more focussed on wrestling now than ever.
KEVIN KELLY
Any final words?
Spud unzips his jacket, as ever he's adorned in the "Champ is Here" T Shirt and is wearing the Provincial Championship.
SPUD
Read the shirt cause I'm gonna be selling them for a very fucking long time. Austin can get his panties in a twist over it all he likes, regardless of company roles and who makes the matches, he just lives here, I run shit here.
"Livin' on A Prayer" begins to play.
SPUD
I've gotta go to work.
I've gotta go to work.
