Post by Black Clyde on Aug 3, 2020 8:22:06 GMT -5
Black Clyde stands in the cum-soaked ring and uses the titantron as a kind of power point presentation.
Black Clyde
As you all know, I have decided to use my powers for good, and have been spreading wisdom - free of charge - via the power of social media. Even the likes of motherfuckin' Ronnie Coleman could do with advice, and when you leave advice for a guy like Ronnie motherfuckin' Coleman, it quickly spreads into the mainstream, as you can see.
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Black Clyde
Furthermore, one of AWF's top baby faces can be found on instagram. He sends me selfies and I send messages of encouragement and shit!
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As you all know, I have decided to use my powers for good, and have been spreading wisdom - free of charge - via the power of social media. Even the likes of motherfuckin' Ronnie Coleman could do with advice, and when you leave advice for a guy like Ronnie motherfuckin' Coleman, it quickly spreads into the mainstream, as you can see.
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Black Clyde
Furthermore, one of AWF's top baby faces can be found on instagram. He sends me selfies and I send messages of encouragement and shit!
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Black Clyde
Furthermore, I have been propositioned to commission bespoke art work!
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Black Clyde
Negotiations are ongoing! Hahaha!
Furthermore, I have been propositioned to commission bespoke art work!
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Black Clyde
Negotiations are ongoing! Hahaha!
The crowd giggle along with him. Black Clyde spots a happy child waving a "Black Clyde! Tupac of the Squat Rack!" sign. Clyde smiles, then his cyborg eye glows and he stares intently at the child before snapping out of it.
Black Clyde
Knowledge is about motherfuckin' learning! So not only do I give information to my clients, I also get information on their field of expertise.
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Black Clyde
As you can see, I have been declared "the best" on first attempt. Black Motherfuckin' Clyde! I also left messages of encouragement for my WWE counterpart, Otis. Sadly there always creeps in the comments section, and not everyone is as respectful as I, Black Clyde.
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Black Clyde
I've never heard of this, "bigshow" motherfucker, but I will throw him into the clouds should he cross my path.
Knowledge is about motherfuckin' learning! So not only do I give information to my clients, I also get information on their field of expertise.
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Black Clyde
As you can see, I have been declared "the best" on first attempt. Black Motherfuckin' Clyde! I also left messages of encouragement for my WWE counterpart, Otis. Sadly there always creeps in the comments section, and not everyone is as respectful as I, Black Clyde.
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Black Clyde
I've never heard of this, "bigshow" motherfucker, but I will throw him into the clouds should he cross my path.
The kid in the audience cheers and Black Clyde smiles at him, before the eye glows again and Clyde starts to growl, until getting himself back in check.
Black Clyde
Fuck, sorry folks, being an influencer can really uhhh...yeah so anyway I've also tried to save a beautiful woman from a toxic marriage.
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Black Clyde
One day Kim K and Zendaya will be arm wrestling for my affection.
Fuck, sorry folks, being an influencer can really uhhh...yeah so anyway I've also tried to save a beautiful woman from a toxic marriage.
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Black Clyde
One day Kim K and Zendaya will be arm wrestling for my affection.
Black Clyde purposefully doesn't look at the child fan.
Black Clyde
Last but not least, while promoting my upcoming match against the thinking man's carbohydrate, rockstar spud, I was set upon by one of his more deranged sycophants.
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Last but not least, while promoting my upcoming match against the thinking man's carbohydrate, rockstar spud, I was set upon by one of his more deranged sycophants.
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Black Clyde
Motherfucker got taught!
Motherfucker got taught!
The crowd take a few minutes to catch up, what with all the reading they're having to do, then applaud in admiration. The child with the sign goes particularly mental.
Clyde's cyborg eye glows and he charges out of the ring and lifts the child to eye level by the collar. The child laughs, as does the crowd. They know a normally functioning Clyde would never hurt a child. As Clyde speaks in a voice alien even to him, the eye glows ever more intensely.
Clyde's cyborg eye glows and he charges out of the ring and lifts the child to eye level by the collar. The child laughs, as does the crowd. They know a normally functioning Clyde would never hurt a child. As Clyde speaks in a voice alien even to him, the eye glows ever more intensely.
Black Clyde
Hey gang, it's me, literal rock golem adjacent adonis, Black Clyde.
Remember kids, never let your father fight me. I will hurt him in a permanent way for little to no reason. Dive onto his stupid fucking skull and destroy it with Pugilistigon, the Forbidden Fist Strike, falling meteor punch that slayed the God-Emperor of the Mad Star Caiphon. I hate skulls. I hate all things made of flesh and bone, for they feel unexplored joys and pleasures I will never experience. I am stolen iris-matter, stretched over volcanic rock and limestone.
I feel nothing. Bones and muscles mock me with their fluid movement and remind me of the foul Baron Wizard who summoned me to this cursed existence. Every day more sediment is made within me and the stoney skeletal simulcra maintaining my humanoid form grows - one day I will be but a head-shaped boulder of muscle covered in my putrid leathery epidermis - a foul imitation of skin that was harvested from the Slave Trolls of Menzoberrazan. The Wizard will laugh heartily at my future torment from the pocket dimension he has hidden away in. I looked for the Seals of Allabar, Opener of the Way and Finder of Secrets inside the smashed heads of my enemies to no avail.
Stay in school, kids, and don't do drugs! Follow your dreams and brush your teeth. Ask your parents to enroll you in a youth wrestling program to build character and buy your father leverage to escape my wrath. Find the Baron Wizard. Kill him. If he cannot be destroyed by mortal hands torture him into killing me. Please. The key to his portal is in Rockstar Spud's frontal lobe, I'm sure of it, smash his pitiful fucking sk-
Hey gang, it's me, literal rock golem adjacent adonis, Black Clyde.
Remember kids, never let your father fight me. I will hurt him in a permanent way for little to no reason. Dive onto his stupid fucking skull and destroy it with Pugilistigon, the Forbidden Fist Strike, falling meteor punch that slayed the God-Emperor of the Mad Star Caiphon. I hate skulls. I hate all things made of flesh and bone, for they feel unexplored joys and pleasures I will never experience. I am stolen iris-matter, stretched over volcanic rock and limestone.
I feel nothing. Bones and muscles mock me with their fluid movement and remind me of the foul Baron Wizard who summoned me to this cursed existence. Every day more sediment is made within me and the stoney skeletal simulcra maintaining my humanoid form grows - one day I will be but a head-shaped boulder of muscle covered in my putrid leathery epidermis - a foul imitation of skin that was harvested from the Slave Trolls of Menzoberrazan. The Wizard will laugh heartily at my future torment from the pocket dimension he has hidden away in. I looked for the Seals of Allabar, Opener of the Way and Finder of Secrets inside the smashed heads of my enemies to no avail.
Stay in school, kids, and don't do drugs! Follow your dreams and brush your teeth. Ask your parents to enroll you in a youth wrestling program to build character and buy your father leverage to escape my wrath. Find the Baron Wizard. Kill him. If he cannot be destroyed by mortal hands torture him into killing me. Please. The key to his portal is in Rockstar Spud's frontal lobe, I'm sure of it, smash his pitiful fucking sk-
The eye, now glowing so brightly the entire audience have donned sunglasses (they look cool as fuck), suddenly switches off.
A brief silence before the crowd start cheering Clyde heartily. He cannot remember anything after exiting the ring so he just smiles, and puts the child back down before hitting another double bicep pose.
A brief silence before the crowd start cheering Clyde heartily. He cannot remember anything after exiting the ring so he just smiles, and puts the child back down before hitting another double bicep pose.
Black Clyde
Get Shredded, get bedded.
Get Shredded, get bedded.