Post by The Commissioner on Jul 29, 2020 22:07:43 GMT -5
Jim Ross: OH HELL YEAH! THE GREATEST COMMISSIONER THERE EVER WAS! THE GREATEST CHAMPION THERE EVER WAS! BY GOD, IT’S STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! IT’S AUSTIN! IT’S ALL ABOUT AUSTIN!
AWF’s Hungarian Contingent seems to disagree, swarming the ‘All About Austin’-shirt-with-jorts-combo-clad official co-commissioner with boos when he finally marches out onto the raised stage, Brian Pillman Jr. his caboose in the same outfit as the week prior, until he’s shoulder-to-shoulder at the end of the stage with his mentor.
Mark Beverly: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Co-Commissioner of the Alberta Wrestling Federation: STONE COLD! STEVE! AUSTIN!
In that moment of cue, from the curtain first joins Phil Goode in his choice of velour sweatsuit of the evening made even more obnoxious by his Aviators, lenses with the Elton John tint; the Irish Slugger Conor McGregor rocking custom-made Dolce & Gabbana shades of his own, in one of his absurdly expensive three-piece suits; and lastly, Dave Batista, too sporting sunglasses, in a black flat cap matching his black t-shirt, a brown leather jacket over that, the former tucked into dark blue jeans, designer sneakers for shoes.
They all line up, in that shoulder-to-shoulder positioning, the camera panning from left to right at the unit, in order:
Dave Batista,
Brian Pillman Jr.,
Commissioner Austin,
Phil Goode,
Conor McGregor.
With half of a step, Austin’s first movement gets the lot of them descending down the ramp in complete unison, forming a triangle as we cut, the sky-camera panning from the side down to the ramp to show the fearsome group: Austin in front of the pack; Brian flanking his right, Phil his left; Batista behind wider right, McGregor the further left.
Christian Cage: Stone Cold has certainly established quite the group, Jim Ross. Wouldja have a look at this?
Jim Ross: That’s Commissioner Austin to you. You’re damn right I’ll have a look -- a good, long, hard look, by golly! You look too, Cage! All of you look! Everyone of these damn Hungarians better get a good damn gander while we’re at it! ‘Cause this is the Age of Austin! It’s the Austin Administration, goddammit! It’s All About Austin! If you don’t get it, by god, you will!
Making it ringside, Stone Cold opts out of the first set of steel steps to go to the other, rounding the empty ringpost and ascen-- scratch that, he skips those two, rounding that post before the other.
After making sure every one on every side of the arena and front row had a good look at the fearsome five, he finally ascends the first set once there, before entering the ring, all four men behind him from the same set he entered from.
Another panning shot, but in the ring, the same order, the only difference being Commissioner Austin having grabbed a microphone on the ringside microphone. He walks forward, his music finally fading out.
The microphone is close to his lips.
Commissioner Austin
I told ya.
Crowd: WHAT?!
Commissioner Austin
I said I told ya.
Crowd: WHAT?
Commissioner Austin
I fulfilled my promise.
Crowd: WHAT?
Commissioner Austin
I kept my word!
Crowd: WHAT?
Commissioner Austin
Stone Cold told you.
Austin points to a person in the front row.
Crowd: WHAT?
Commissioner Austin
I told you.
He points to someone else in the front, all the way in the corner.
Crowd: WHAT?
Commissioner Austin
I told you.
Austin turns and points to Phil Goode.
Crowd: WHAT?
Commissioner Austin
I told you! And you! And I damn sure told you!
In order: Pillman, Batista, McGregor.
Crowd: WHAT?
Commissioner Austin
(walking past the pack, back to the hard camera, and pointing to a random in the sixteenth balcony row)
I told your fatass, too!
Both the finger and the head drops while a small boo collects, Austin returning to where he first began his speech, his eyes back on the hard camera.
Commissioner Austin
(a slow point and a scowl)
I told Bret, I told Booker. I told you, I promised each and every one of ya, that I was gonna whoop G.I. Bro’s ass all over New York City!
A louder boo now.
Commissioner Austin
And that’s what I did! Steve Austin said that the job was his, and--
(turns to Pillman)
Damn, kid, you seen Booker T anywhere?
(Pillman shakes his head. Austin points to Batista)
Dave, brother, ya seen Black Snow in Budapest?
After Batista offers a fake sad face, then a slow bowed headshake, Austin turns with a shit-eating grin to the hard camera.
Commissioner Austin
Ya damn right you ain’t seen Booker! That’s cause ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin beat his ass out of the Alberta Wrestling Federation! Do you understand?
Crowd: WHAT?
Commissioner Austin
Do you get what I’m saying?
Crowd: WHAT?
Commissioner Austin
Are you comprehending what I’m telling you?
Crowd: WHAT?
Commissioner Austin
This is what I mean.
Crowd: WHAT?
Commissioner Austin
I’ma tell ya!
Crowd: WHAT?
Commissioner Austin
Here it comes!
Crowd: WHAT?
Commissioner Austin
Here it is!
Crowd: WHAT?
Commissioner Austin
It’s All About Austin!
Half the crowd offers another ‘WHAT?’ while the offer half boos, all of the four men to his rear clapping along the phrase, the brightest smile in competition between Pillman and Goode.
Commissioner Austin
I don’t think you get it.
Crowd: WHAT?
Commissioner Austin
But I know Jim Ross gets it.
Surprisingly, this name garners only more of a negative reaction.
Commissioner Austin
The four men -- four of the toughest S.O.B.’s not only AWF but this industry has to offer -- they get it.
No love for them, either. Especially not next to Steve Austin and all he’s become.
Commissioner Austin
They get it, because, and you people and anybody in the back who got an issue with Commissioner Austin are gonna learn real quick: when it’s All About Austin,
(pointing to each person he names)
It’s All About Goode; It’s All About Batista; It’s All About Pillman; It’s All About McGregor.
A glare only Stone Cold could give, the camera zooming in close.
Commissioner Austin
And that’s the bottom line, ‘cause Stone Cold said so.