Post by The Commissioner on Jul 27, 2020 23:36:58 GMT -5
The cold open for Alberta Wrestling Federation’s second pay-per-view:
A bright glow emanates from the large flat-screen TV built into the wall, above the large and incredibly comfortable looking bed that sits young Lucas Carlos. He shovels gummy worms into his mouth, as his eyes rest, almost unblinking, on the content of the screen ahead. A wrestling ring, covered in logos that advertise the name 'Pro Wrestling Destruction', and in which stands Dolph Ziggler and a rather small, edgy looking fellow of the name 'Sean Masters'. But these two figures are not who young Lucas is interested in, neither of these men are the reason he shovels the gummy worms into his mouth with increased speed, his heart beating more and more with anticipation, until suddenly…
Lucas sits forwards, his eyes wide and hungry. Out onto the stage, steps the man himself, cigarette in mouth, the exuberant figure behind the name R-Truth, none other than Ron Killings. But it's not him who Lucas is here to see either, it's the small, purple haired, masquerade mask figure who walks out next to him.
Sp!t.
Lucas feels butterflies in his stomach as the 14 year old Priscilla Kelly moves down the ramp alongside Killings, an excitement in her eyes. Lucas' gaze swims in her luscious violet hair, her sparkling black and purple gear, and through the holes in her mask, her great, wide, piercing blue eyes. Upon a close up of Sp!t, Lucas pauses the TV, before sitting back and giving out an enamoured sigh.
He'd never felt adoration like this ever.
A knock rattles on his door, before it peeks open, and the figure of his fantasies moves into the room.
Priscilla Kelly
Knock knock. How's my favourite boy in the world doing?
Lucas quickly unpauses the TV, before clearing his throat, and sitting up quickly in bed.
Lucas
Oh just watching some wrestling! Just umm-
Priscilla gets an eyeful of the TV and smiles.
Priscilla Kelly
Oh! Look who it is! You a Sp!t fan, Lucas?
Lucas
Well y'know, I'm a- sort of- I like R-Truth! A lot! Too! I'm a big R-Truth fan!
Priscilla Kelly
Good! He deserves it! What an underrated mastermind ol' Ron is!
Priscilla jumps down onto the bed next to Lucas, scooting up next to him. Lucas tries to hide the sound of his involuntary gulp, as he feels the skin of Priscilla's arm rub against him. This brief contact almost melts him, and it takes him a few seconds to find any sense of the world.
Priscilla Kelly
Which one's this one? Oh! Dolph!? Pfft, that dude sucks! I don't even remember that other guy but he looks like shit too, huh?
Lucas
Oh! Umm-- yeah! Yeah! What a loser!
As Killings enters the ring, it becomes clear it's a tag team match, as the theme music of Truth's tag team partner blasts through the PA. Onto the stage, steps modern day AWF Producer, Chris DeAngelo.
Priscilla Kelly
Well well well, look who it is.
Priscilla raises an eyebrow, before grabbing a gummy worm and scoffing it. As the camera settles back on Sp!t for another close-up, Lucas feels the butterflies swim in his belly once more, as he clears his throat and slowly looks up at Kelly.
Lucas
Is there any umm, any Sp!t… merch?
Priscilla Kelly
Oh? You want some Sp!t merch!? Wow, never thought I'd hear that. What like?
Lucas
I dunno like umm, a poster maybe?
Priscilla Kelly
Wow. Want lil' old me up on your wall huh? I could try to sort that out maybe.
Lucas grins.
Lucas
Thanks Auntie Priscilla.
Priscilla smiles herself, before ruffling up Lucas' hair as she feels the young boy lean against her shoulder, and a warm glow fills her. A glow of comfort. But then, a small moment of sadness. She looks up at the TV, the close-up of Sp!t, at her own face. Her young face, and she remembers the pain it had just been through.
-
The dark black night is void of stars, just pitch black sky, endless and endless. Priscilla Kelly's eyes rest on the bleeding gutter above her, water seeping through the cracks and pattering onto the concrete floor below her, spitting up onto her scuffed, muddy boots. She hugs herself tightly, hood up over her damp, dark brown hair, her beady blue eyes scrunched close. The skin of her face, pale as a sheet, isn't as pristine as we're used to it being, scattered with brown splodges of dirt, and little cuts and bruises across her ruby cheeks.
This 14 year old Priscilla Kelly sits under a doorway to the back exit of an old bar, pressed up against the doorway, trying as best she can to stay out of the pouring rain above. Her eyes rest on the glow of the wet floor in the lamplight, it would be peaceful if it didn't come with such a cost. It was her view every night now, at least when police didn't remove her from this spot. She had no home, only these streets.
Her beaten, bagged eyes slowly flutter closed, as she lets her head lean on the hard wood of the doorway. Her head hurts, her body aches, she's tired, and fed up. Almost all of the fight has been sucked out of her…
But not all of it.
She keeps muscling on.
The sound of drunkards echoes from down the streets. Priscilla slowly pulls a small, tattered black blanket up to her face, almost covering her completely, as she watches 3 drunken men slowly stumble along. A gust of wind flutters by, yanking the blanket from Priscilla's grip, where she scrambles to hold onto it. In the effort though, one of the drunkards spots Priscilla, and grins.
Drunkard #1
Fucking, there you go Derek! You were worried about pulling! There's a bird there for you look!
Drunkard #2/Derek
Aww Darren don't wake her up!
Drunkard #1/Darren
Why?
Drunkard #3
He's worried she won't be up for it if she's awake!
The drunkards laugh.
Darren
Fucking hell not bad though is she? For a homeless.
Derek
Bit young looking Darren.
Drunkard #3
Yeah bet she's gagging for it though.
The first drunkard, Darren, starts to stumble in Priscilla's direction, a dizzy smile on his face.
Darren
Here love… me and my pals here got a bed and a roof over your head for you tonight! If you fancy?
Priscilla pulls the blanket back up to her face, pressing her nose into her knees in hopes the men will just disappear. The drunkard looks a little insulted.
Darren
Come on lassie, how often do you get a deal like this?
He stumbles even closer over to Priscilla, who lays with the blanket scrunched up to her shaking face. The man grabs the other end of it, and tugs it away from her. Priscilla scrunches her eyes shut, and looks at the ground.
Derek
Leave it Darren.
Darren
Beggars can't be choosers darling. I'll even throw a bit of dosh in for you if you like?
Priscilla doesn't look up, her head pressed even further into her knees. She starts to shake as she cries.
Priscilla Kelly
Please leave me alone. Please.
Darren
Well now you're making me feel like a bad guy. I'm trying to be nice.
Priscilla Kelly
I'm just- I'm not interested. Please just leave. Please.
Darren
How do you know? You've not even looked at me yet!
The drunkard gets a hand full of Priscilla's hair, and tugs her head upwards. She cries out in pain, her eyes opening involuntarily, as she stares at the grisled features of the man before her. His wrinkles, his bumpy olive skin, his nasty grey eyes, his yellowing teeth, and she gets a whiff of his alcohol breath.
Derek
Darren! Fucking hell mate, leave it!
Darren
Could be a lot worse couldn't I love!
Darren yanks Priscilla forwards, pulling her from her step, dragging her along the soaked pavement.
Priscilla Kelly
Stop! Please! Please!
The second drunkard, Derek, is over at Darren's side in a second, pulling him away from Kelly. After an especially nasty yank, Darren lets go of her hair, a tuft of it being ripped out in his grip. He grimaces over at Kelly.
Darren
Stay in the rain then you stupid fucking tart.
Darren lets the handful of Priscilla's hair float out of his hand to the wet pavement, before turning on his heel and moving away with his two friends, shaking his head.
Darren
Gaul on that girl.
And they're gone, and Priscilla is left in the empty and, once more, silent street. She lays on her back, clutching her scalp, shaking as she cries out, the tears streaming from her eyes being quickly lost between the droplets of rain that beat down on her face.
She is soaked, battered, beaten, miserable.
This is what life had given her.
Cruelty upon cruelty.
It seemed clear to Priscilla that there was just no end to this horror that she could see.
But when she found it, if she ever did…
She'd never let it go.
-
The black sky is no more, replaced by a plain white now. A few grey clouds spec the vast expanse, but not a vision of blue can be seen. No blue like the eyes that look upon it, Priscilla Kelly's. Still hugging herself in her tattered black coat, Priscilla sludges along the still wet pavement, her bagged eyes and ghostly white skin still present, a clump of hair missing from her head. It's clear sleep wasn't easy for the young girl that night prior.
As Kelly walks down the packed streets, the odd dirty look fires at her from passers by, but Kelly takes no note of these. Months of living on these streets has taught her to care none for those looking down at her. They really do not matter.
The only thing that matters right now is her rumbling tummy. She buries her hands into her pockets, trying to find what change she has to make up for a meal…
...and it's not close to enough.
She sighs, before slowly sidling over to the wall next to her, and letting herself slide down it into a sitting position on the wet concrete. As people walk by her, she lolls her head up, demotivated, tired, as her croaky voice cries out with little effort.
Priscilla Kelly
Change please? Can anyone spare some change? Please?
A young fellow walks by, making eye contact with her for a brief second. She smiles at him.
Priscilla Kelly
Any change? Please?
He looks away from her then, moving onwards like he never even saw her. Priscilla puffs her cheeks out, before letting her head rest against the wall.
Priscilla Kelly
Fuck.
The hunger was starting to really set in, and Priscilla just didn't have the patience in that moment to wait around for the rare generosity of a few strangers. To syphen through those who pretended to ignore her, or didn't want to give her money because she'd 'just spent it on drugs'. She rubs her eyes, with barely enough energy to move, before suddenly, out of a passing car window, an soda is tossed out at her feet.
Priscilla picks it up quickly, but her hopes drop as she feels the lack of content inside. Her eyes though, rest on the Burger King logo imprinted onto the side, and an idea surfaces in her mind.
-
Lucas bursts into laughter as, upon the screen before himself and his Auntie Priscilla, the young and fiery Sp!t jumps up onto the apron, taking advantage of the distracted referee, and spits a huge loogey into the face of Sean Masters! Boos echo from the crowd, as the competitor stumbles backwards, turning right into a LIE DETECTOR!!!
Truth secures the pin and the three count, and just like Sp!t does on screen, Lucas fist pumps the air and cheers.
Lucas
Awesome! How can you spit that far!?
Priscilla Kelly
I actually had to practice you know? They were some very, very weird lessons…
A small knock occurs on the door, before it creaks open slightly, and Cranston peaks his rather unfortunate looking face in.
Cranston
Umm, Mistress Kelly, you ready?
Priscilla Kelly
Oh! Of course, yeah.
Kelly quickly scuffles off of the bed, a flash of disappointment suddenly arising over young Lucas.
Lucas
Oh, you going somewhere?
Priscilla Kelly
Yeah, got some AWF business to attend to! Don't worry though, I'll pick up some snacks later and we'll watch a movie, how's that sound?
Lucas
Oh! Yeah, good! What kinda movie?
Priscilla Kelly
Up to you! No romance though, had enough of that.
Lucas
Pfft! What!? I wouldn't- I do not- I don't like the romance films! Romance! Pfft! Pee-Yew!
Lucas recognises he may have over done it. Priscilla just looks down at him, a little speechless, before she gives out a small smile.
Priscilla Kelly
Alright, looks like I don't have to worry then. See you later Lucas!
Priscilla leans forwards and kisses Lucas on the forehead, before she turns and follows Cranston out of the room. As the door shuts on Lucas, he rolls onto his back on his bed, face flushed with red, a great big smile on his face. His hands go to his heart, and he chuckles.
Lucas
I love you Auntie Pris.
-
The 14 year old Priscilla Kelly pushes her face through the hedges to get a good look at the Burger King ahead of her. Her eyes get hungry just looking at it, signalled by the further rumbling of her stomach, which she rubs until it goes silent. Her eyes fall upon the Burger King drive-thru, and she narrows her eyes. She notes a person collecting their order from their car window, a smile on their face, before pulling out and away down the road. Behind that car, sits a black SUV, slowly scooting forward, prepared to collect their order.
Priscilla gulps, moving out of the hedge, as she mentally prepares herself for her plan. She'd only ever done this twice, and it was a risky business, but right now, it was a much more appealing option than begging for god knows how long for spare change. Plus, with luck, this plan could guarantee her a hearty meal.
She readies herself, as the SUV pulls up to the window to collect the food.
The SUV front window winds down, the driver of which greeted to a hearty smile from the Burger King worker, as she grabs a rather large bag up from the table. An especially large bag. As the worker leans out of the window, holding the bag outwards to the outstretched arms of the driver of the SUV…
Priscilla darts in between! She scoops the large bag into her own arms, and bolts as fast as she can onwards! She hears roars from the car.
? ? ?
What the FUCK!!!
But she pays no heed, a worried and wide eyed look on her face she runs as fast her legs can carry her, heading straight for the closest alley-way that she can see. She peers over her shoulder, as the SUV diverts course from the drive-thru, onto the grass patch next to it. Priscilla gulps, her breath catching in her throat, they'd never done that before.
She gets closer and closer to the alley-way though, seeing a large metal fence. If she scales that, she's in the clear.
She clenches her teeth around the top of the bag, before leaping at the fence, clutching onto it with both hands, and beginning her ascent! She's scurrying upwards as quickly as she can, her heart beating in her chest, not daring to look back as the top of the fence gets closer and closer!
Finally, she's there! With one great heave, she pulls herself up onto the fence, swinging her leg up and over it, before pulling herself up to straddle it. A small smile emerges onto her face, before she takes one last look back to see where the SUV is…
...headed straight for the fence.
Full speed.
Priscilla screams, the bag falling out of her mouth, before she pushes up from the fence, leaping through the air! The SUV clatters into the metal fence, obliterating it and sending it halfway across the alley-way, as Priscilla soars through the air, before coming to collide hard with the top of a dumpster! As the SUV comes to a stop a little ways down the alley, Priscilla rolls off of the dumpster nastily, before crumpling in a gruesome heap to the floor.
She clutches her body, groaning in pain, as she hears two car doors open up. She barely has time to open her eyes and see who it is, before she's lifted to the feet by her throat, and pressed up against the wall of the alley-way.
In that moment, she can't touch the floor, feeling the colour drain from her face, the light drain from her eyes. As she splutters and coughs, she can only get a good look at the man who the meaty fingers around her throat belong to.
A large behemoth of a man, as wide as he was tall. Ebony skin, with dark brown eyes resting on an intense, angry expression. He presses her against the wall tightly.
The Man
Trying to snatch my order huh!? What's a skinny, twiggy little bitch like you gonna do with five triple whoppers, huh!?
And then, another man is between them, pushing the large whale of a man away from Priscilla.
Other Man
Back off man! Come on!!! It's a little girl!
Priscilla feels the grip loosen from her throat, and she drops to the floor. She tumbles to her knees, holding at her neck, coughing and spluttering nastily as she hears the two men argue above her, but isn't paying attention enough to listen to what they say. She lets herself rest against the brick wall, gaining back her breath, before finally her eyes slowly flutter upwards to the two men before her. Though her vision is blurry, she can make out the two figures slightly.
The Man
She tried stealing my fucking food Ron!
Other Man/Ron
She's clearly homeless S2! Come on man, look at her, and then look at your fat ass, who needs that shit more?!
The Man/S2
Who paid for it though!?
Ron
Don't be like that man. Can't believe you just nearly killed a little girl over a few whoppers.
S2
TRIPLE whoppers! I ain't made of money Ron!
Ron
I sure as hell pay you enough that it ain't worth murdering a kid for a few burgers.
S2
I ain't here for this whopper slander, Killings!
Priscilla coughs again, involuntarily, prompting the smaller of the two men, Ron Killings, to turn to her. He points a finger against S2's chest.
Ron Killings
You, stay put.
S2 grunts, as Ron slowly moves over to the clearly struggling Priscilla. He bends down so he's on her level, and puts a reassuring hand on her back.
Ron Killings
Alright kiddo?
Priscilla can only get out a nod.
Priscilla Kelly
Holy shit.
Ron Killings
It's alright! We're not gonna hurt you… any more at least.
Priscilla Kelly
Oh god my back.
Ron Killings
Shit, do you want us to get you to the hospital?
Priscilla Kelly
No! NO! You can't! I can't have my family knowing where I've gone! Or Jimmy Smith!
Ron Killings
Oh, uuhhh, alright! Well, shit.
Ron turns to S2.
Ron Killings
S2, get my private doctor on the phone.
S2
What!? For some homeless bitch?
Ron Killings
That you nearly killed S2? Yes!
S2 huffs, before moving over to the SUV, as Ron continues to rub Priscilla's back.
Ron Killings
It'll be okay… it'll be okay…
Priscilla clutches her stomach, as the pain starts to increase, shooting up through her body. She groans, as she looks up at Ron. She almost double takes, before her eyes rest on him.
Priscilla Kelly
Wait? R-Truth!? Is that who you see when you die?!
Ron Killings
Uuuh-
Priscilla slumps suddenly to the pavement, the sudden pain shooting up from her battered spine through her body, sending her into unconsciousness.
-
The car pulls up alongside a rather quaint looking retirement home, with Priscilla leaning forward as she reads the large sign at the front of the car park, 'The Patella Home'. She grins.
Priscilla Kelly
This is the one. Park up Cranston, in a disabled spot too, I need to get into the right mindset for this visit.
Cranston
And what mindset is that Mistress Kelly?
Priscilla Kelly
The evil kind.
Inside the Patella Home, in an old, rather uncomfortable looking sofa chair, sits the frankly frightening and fractious father of Barron Boneius…
Nigel 'Daddy' Bone.
On the quite old TV before him, he watches the 2013 documentary Blackfish. As he watches the whales being tortured, a smile breaks on his face.
Daddy Bone
Why… I must visit this Seaworld. What a delightful place.
Nurse
Excuse me, Mr. Bone, you have a visitor.
Nigel smiles, before turning in his chair.
Daddy Bone
Ah, she's here.
Across the room, he sees her. Bright orange locks flowing down her shoulders, a swagger in her walk, draped in pitch black leathers, a hammer in her hand.
Daddy Bone
Well well well, if it isn't the raging slut herself, Miss Kelly.
Priscilla Kelly
Mr. Bone, I heard you're a fan.
Daddy Bone
More so than I usually am of the weaker gender, yes.
She turns to look at the television.
Priscilla Kelly
You enjoying this?
Daddy Bone
I am it's quite a jovial experienc-
Priscilla swings the hammer in her hand at the television, shattering it completely. The TV sparks for a few moments, before it shuts off completely. She lets the hammer clatter to the floor at her feet, before locking eyes with Nigel.
Priscilla Kelly
Tough shit.
Daddy Bone
You, my dear, are one of the nastiest, most horrific, disgusting, awful, and atrocious human beings I have ever set my eye sockets upon…
And then, a grin.
Daddy Bone
...you are just fantastic.
Priscilla Kelly
I'm glad we agree.
Priscilla moves over to an old, innocent woman, silently knitting in her chair, before she lifts the chair up and rocks the woman out of it. As the woman screams on the floor, seemingly having broken her hip, Priscilla moves the chair over to face Boneius, before she takes a seat on it.
Priscilla Kelly
Now, I want you to help me.
Daddy Bone
How so?
Priscilla Kelly
We both know your son is a huge disappointment. When I first saw him in the AWF, I thought he may just be a threat close to my level, but god was I wrong. He's barely made a dent, hanging around the mid card whilst he chases that pathetic broad of his. It really is just sad how little your son has lived up to his potential, isn't it?
Daddy Bone
I could not agree more my dear. Oh, it pains me I have a whimpering son like him, and not an awful bitch of a daughter like you.
Priscilla Kelly
Well, allow me to help you out. I've got a little idea that I think will, scoot your son into the right direction.
Daddy Bone
Well that is intriguing.
Priscilla Kelly
Cranston. Give him the bag.
Cranston moves over, handing a bag over into the skeletal hand of Nigel, he peers into the back, and raises an eyebrowless eyebrow. Slowly, out of the bag, he pulls a Tyler Breeze shirt.
Daddy Bone
Tyler Breeze merchandise? What am I doing with all of this? I care nothing for that narcissistic oaf! I do not understand!
Priscilla Kelly
I wouldn't expect you to bone-head. You don't need to understand, you just need to do. Now, put all of it on.
Bone smiles as he throws the shirt over his head, before reaching into the bag to pull out more merchandise. Priscilla aims her phone at his face, and clicks onto the camera.
Priscilla Kelly
And when you're all dressed up, I want us to make a little video.
-
Barron Boneius is laid across his sofa, Annie in his arms, as the pair dip their hands into a bucket of popcorn between the two of them. On the screen plays A Christman Prince, a romcom starring Rose McIver.
Boneius' phone buzzes, and he sighs before ignoring it. It buzzes again, and as Annie shoots him a little look, he ashamedly tries to stuff the phone under a pillow as to mask the noise. It goes off again though, and again, and Annie sighs before looking up at her husband.
Annie
Can you put it on silent please honey?
Barron Boneius
I'm sorry, yes, yes I shall.
Boneius grabs his phone, ready to flick it on silent, before he gets an eyeful of the texts being sent to him. They're from Snivley, and read;
'Master! You must see this video!'
'Instagram Master! Now!'
'Master it's going VIRAL!!! You must watch!!!'
Boneius stands up suddenly, shocking Annie, as he flips open his phone.
Annie
Everything alright honey?
Barron Boneius
Pause the flick, deary, Snivley has informed me I must peruse the landscapes of Instagram…
Boneius clicks onto a link sent to him by Snivley, opening up a video posted onto Tyler Breeze's twitter. The caption reads; 'Went to see one of my biggest fans, and can you believe it's the dad of one of my opponents??? Jeez! How sad is that? Check out what he's got to say though, clearly a Breezamaniac!'
The video plays, and Boneius feels his heart in his throat as he watches his father, decked out in Tyler Breeze merchandise, from a t-shirt, to a cap, to sunglasses, to wrist bands… he's covered in the face of Boneius' Elimination Chamber adversary.
Daddy Bone
All you fools and dolts who watch the AWF, yes you, I say enough with supporting my son! How could you cheer and support an imbecile, a putrid moron, a pathetic tapeworm like Barron Boneius when top level competitors like Tyler Breeze exists! I see within Tyler Breeze what I never saw in my own son… a backbone. Integrity. The willingness to do EVIL!
Daddy Bone leans forward in his chair aggressively.
Daddy Bone
My son is nothing by comparison, and I cannot wait to watch Tyler wipe him right out of that Elimination Chamber. If you are listening to this, my boy... you are worthless. You are nothing. You are an embarassement to the family name. You and that whore you parade around with. When Tyler Breeze gets some, he ditches the slut the next day, he doesn't marry them!
Daddy Bone grins.
Daddy Bone
He is the son I always wanted… but never had.
And with that, the video ends, and Boneius stands there in his living room, looking at his phone in silence.
-
Priscilla sits by a computer screen, manned by Gabe, the pair smiling at the results on the screen.
Priscilla Kelly
Holy shit, the views are piling in! It's at a million already?
Gabe
Sure is! Made sure to do a bit of promoting on it, really bank on that public humiliation on top of everything else. Breeze's bank details are already hooked up to his account too so, no extra cost for us.
Priscilla Kelly
Perfect Gabe, you tech savvy fuck. This is why in Hollywood, they always have a hacker.
Gabe
It was way easier to get into Tyler Breeze's account than you think. His password was 'iamgorgeous'... it was like my third guess, I didn't even need to do any tech shit really.
Bill Buttertoes moves into the room, a smile on his face. Priscilla turns to him.
Priscilla Kelly
Buttertoes, tell me it's worked?
Bill Buttertoes
It has. Breeze's WiFi is out, he ain't spotting that insta post… not til it's too late.
Priscilla Kelly
Perfect.
Priscilla pulls out a little list filled with six names. At the top of it, sits the name Tyler Breeze, which she puts a big line through with her ink pen, before tapping the name below it, Barron Boneius. She grins.
Priscilla Kelly
I ain't done with you yet, Boneman.
Priscilla pulls out a cigarette, lights it, and takes a quick drag. As she puffs out, she turns to look down at her resident hacker.
Priscilla Kelly
Gabe… let's fuck over that Skeleton a bit more, shall we?
-
Priscilla splutters suddenly as she awakens, she's found herself no longer in the alley way, lying next to the metal dumpster she slammed into during that escape from the rampant SUV, but instead, in a small room, layed in a little cozy single bed. She looks around at the rotted yellow walls, at the rather cheap looking furniture, and finally at a small wooden chair sat facing the bed, absent of anyone, but with her black coat layed over it.
She sits up slowly, looking at the cuts and bruises swimming down her arms, all the way up to her neck, and notices quite a few of them now covered in plasters. She clutches her head suddenly as a nasty headache pushes it's way through, and she lets herself lay back down onto the pillow.
She's confused, not having a clue what lead her to getting her.
But boy is she comfy.
She's not felt the comfort of a bed in… god, so long.
Despite her slight fear, she lets herself lay back in the comfort of the bed, wrapping herself in the blissful comfort of the quilt, head pressed against the lush soft pillow. She lets out a little grin, and looks ready to fall asleep once more.
Until suddenly, she hears the door to the room creak open.
Priscilla shoots up suddenly, sitting up, eyes wide, glaring at the man who walks slowly into the room. A young adult, one who she doesn't recognise, and he looks up before locking eyes with her.
Young Adult
Oh! You're awake!
Priscilla Kelly
Who are you?
Young Adult
It's alright! Stay calm! I'm here to help!
Priscilla Kelly
Where am I!?
Young Adult
Ron! She's awake!!!
Priscilla Kelly
Ron!? I don't know a Ron!!! Who's that!? What's going on!?
Into the room, bursts a familiar face, an all too familiar face. Priscilla is met yet again by the sight of R-Truth, Ron Killings. Thoughts swim in her head for a few moments, before the memory of seeing him just before she passed out before re-emerges.
Priscilla Kelly
R-Truth!? Wait am I dead!? What's going on?
Ron Killings
This girl thinks I'm some angel of death or something.
Killings moves slowly over to the bed.
Ron Killings
Hey, you said that uhh- you didn't want to go to a hospital. So I thought I'd run you by Benji, my doctor, his apartment was close by.
The young adult, Benji, waves.
Benji
You're okay, you just took a bad bump. You need rest though. I'll let you get some.
Benji smiles before moving out of the room. Ron turns to look sincerely at Priscilla.
Ron Killings
I'm sorry about what happened… S2 can get funny about his Burger King orders.
Priscilla Kelly
That's okay… wait are you R-Truth?
Ron laughs.
Ron Killings
The very same.
Priscilla Kelly
Holy shit. You're cool dude. I can't believe I nearly got run over by R fucking Truth!
Ron Killings
Yeah, let's avoid that getting out though, right?
Priscilla Kelly
Oh, yeah… sure.
Ron Killings
And you are?
Priscilla Kelly
Oh! My name's Priscilla. Priscilla Kelly.
Ron Killings
Alright, well Priscilla, Benji has let you rest here a little so, if you want me to shut up so you can sleep, I get it! Just, let me know and I'll get out of your hair-
Priscilla Kelly
No! No don't worry about it! It's sorta cool talking to you… I don't really… get much company. Let alone the company of famous wrestlers.
Ron smiles, before suddenly he looks as though a thought re-emerges to his head. He reaches behind him, grabbing a Burger King bag, and sitting it on Priscilla's lap.
Ron Killings
There you go! Managed to convince S2 to give you some of his triple whoppers.
Priscilla Kelly
Holy fuck yes! Thank you!
Priscilla reaches into the bag hectically, barely ripping the whopper out of it's wrapper before sinking her teeth into it. After taking a bite and swallowing, Priscilla lets out a little moan of ecstacy, closing her eyes serenely as she looks to be in heaven. Ron notes this very over the top reaction, and suddenly a certain thought comes to mind.
Ron Killings
Do you not live anywhere Priscilla?
Priscilla looks up at Killings, her mouth full of burger.
Priscilla Kelly
Umm… not quite…
Ron Killings
You're awful young to be homeless.
Priscilla Kelly
Well… it's sorta better than the home I had.
Priscilla takes another bite of the whopper, already she's almost halfway through. Ron nods slowly, he knows better than to ask details.
Ron Killings
I don't think I can let a girl your age go back onto the streets…
Priscilla stops eating in that second. She looks up at Truth through her wide eyes.
Priscilla Kelly
You can't send me back to them R-Truth… I mean it! You can't! I didn't brave the streets for six months to go back there!
Ron looks at her, before sighing. He nods again.
Ron Killings
Okay. I don't know your situation so… I can't really-
Priscilla Kelly
I would rather be on the streets for the rest of my life than go back there R-Truth! I mean it! I'm not going back to my fucking mum! Or my dad! Or Jimmy Smith! They're awful R-Truth! Awful!
Ron Killings
Priscilla… call me Ron.
Priscilla Kelly
Okay… they're awful Ron! Awful!
Ron Killings
Alright! Alright! I get it. Awful.
Ron puts his head in his hands.
Ron Killings
Alright then, once you're done resting here… you can stay with me.
Priscilla Kelly
Really!? I can stay at yours!?
Ron Killings
Just for now, just until we figure something else out.
Priscilla Kelly
Oh my god! Thank you R-Truth- Ron! Thank you!!!
Priscilla leans forwards and hugs Killings. He awkwardly hugs her back.
Ron Killings
And no telling anyone! I do not want people knowing I've let a random teenage girl from the streets stay at my house… especially not if they get a look at you. That is a hard one to explain your way out of.
Ron tries to pull out of the hug, but Priscilla stays latched on to him.
Priscilla Kelly
I won't say a thing Ron! Thank you so much! Thank you!
Ron finally wriggles his way out of the hug, before he smiles at Priscilla.
Ron Killings
It's fine Priscilla, it really is. Anyway, get some rest… oh and a shower. Not to sound mean, but god you stink.
Priscilla laughs, as does Ron, before he ruffles up her hair. She grins at him, before he gets to his feet, and moves out of the room. Priscilla just lays in the bed, almost in disbelief at the situation that has presented itself to her. She eyes the burger in front of her, the triple whopper, almost refusing to believe it's real.
But as she sinks her teeth into it once more, the wonderful taste confirms that it is. Ketchup spills down her chin, and upon seeing her reflection in a small mirror on the window-ledge, she starts to laugh.
This may be it.
The end of the horror.
She'd found it…
...and she wasn't letting go.
FADE OUT
FADE IN
Annie is sat in her living room watching the previous fight on a laptop. She watches the footage of Boneius choking Spud. As she does so it's clear the footage is making her uncomfortable as she shuffles around on the sofa. Boneius walks in with two bags of McDonald's and two Homuncumilks.
Annie
(Quietly)
You promised you could control yourself.
Barron Boneius
We were fighting.
Annie turns the screen to him, the screen paused on his choke, in the freeze frame the look on Boneius’s face is blank.
Annie
Tell me, honestly, right here.
She points to the screen.
Annie
That this is fighting, not a failed execution.
Boneius is about to say something when Annie gets up.
Annie
I’m gonna take a walk
Boneius can’t find the words to respond as Annie walks out the door. Boneius puts the food on the counter. He goes over to the TV and pulls up Annie's Netflix, he looks at her watchlist, selects the Christmas Prince and pauses the film at the beginning as he gets a blanket and places it on the sofa. He goes to take a sip of the milk but accidentally knocks both over.
-
Later, just after Boneius has viewed the Instagram post
Annie gets up from the sofa and walks over to him.
Annie
What is it? Snivley in trouble again?
Boneius nods, his hands gripped tightly on the phone.
Annie
Just go help him; he won’t shut up till you do.
CUT TO – Tyler Breeze’s house
Tyler paces back and forth inside his minimalist fancy house. He’s yelling down the phone.
Tyler Breeze
I DUNNO WHO YOU ARE, BUT IF YOU DON’T STOP CALLING ME, I WILL GET ALL OFF MY FOLLOWERS ON YOU, I BET YOU CAN’T EVEN IMAGINE HOW MANY PEOPLE THAT IS, AND I WILL DESTROY YOU!
He hangs up, then immediately takes a selfie and posts it on Instagram with the caption, #spreadlovenothate #fuckthehaters. He presses send, but the picture won’t post, a message reading, no connection comes up. His door is kicked open as Boneius walks in.
Barron Boneius
You dare –
Tyler Breeze storms up to Boneius and squares up to him, pointing his figure right in the Barrons face.
Tyler Breeze
You got some nerve you ugly ass skeleton freak, you wanna come for me, try it, but don’t ever come for my media! I dunno what game you think you’re playing but you better call of your fucking fans now! If I get one more call I will fucking sue your ass.
As Tyler continues to square up to him Boneius becomes viably angrier.
Tyler Breeze
Or maybe I’ll give you a taste of your own medicine, I’ll get my followers to tear you up, and trust me freak, there are way more of them than your little fan club. They will destroy you, you irrelevant ass. Get the fuck outta my house, I gotta fix whatever shit you’ve done. Fucking cut my internet.
Tyler's phone rings again. Tyler storms over and answers it. After a pause he yells.
Tyler Breeze
I TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING.
Tyler turns to Boneius.
Tyler Breeze
This is your fault!
Tyler aims his phone at Boneius, his camera lighting up.
Tyler Breeze
Smile uggo! Imma get everyone of my followers to tear you, your ugly ass crew and your freak wife to shreds.
The angry expression on Boneius’s face fades. His fists unclench. His eyes glaze over. He takes a breath. He almost looks calm.
Quickly and precisely Boneius grabs Tylers hand with the phone in it and crunches down. The phone breaks in Tylers hand as shards of glass and metal are pressed into his skin. Boneius throws the hand away from him causing Tyler to fall backwards. Tyler stumbles away as Boneius walks after him.
Arriving in the kitchen Tyler grabs some plates and hurls them at Boneius who hits them out of the air. They both notice one of the plates has cut Boneius across the chest. Boneius hardly reacts. Tyler grabs a knife and starts swinging it at Boneius as he backs away further. Boneius lifts a collection of glasses from the kitchen counter. One at a time Boneius hurls them at the ground beneath Tyler as he backs away. His bare feet having to walk across the glass as he tries to escape.
Tyler eventually collapses against a large glass window looking towards an indoor pool. As he falls he drops the knife. He reaches across the floor to grab it, as he’s about to reclaim it he looks up to see Boneius with a bar stool in hand like a club. He swings the metal side directly into Tyler’s head.
The media star crashes through the large glass window, his body sliding along to the edge of the pool. Boneius slams the stool down onto Tyler's chest but there’s little reaction. The star looks up at him with a bloody smile.
Tyler Breeze
Ribs of steel asshole
Tyler stabs Boneius in the shins with the knife he just managed to grab earlier. Boneius stumbles back as Tyler rolls over and tries to drag himself along the floor. Behind him Boneius pulls out the knife and throws it to the side as he walks over to Breeze. He forcibly rolls him over and rams his head into the glass covered marble floor beneath. Slowly he wraps his hands around his throat. Breeze tries to claw at him but to no effect.
Tyler starts to go pale but with one last kick manages to knock both of them into the pool. The water washes over Boneius, for a moment he can’t see Breeze, only the murky water around him. There is total silence. Boneius fades out.
Boneius wakes floating in the pool. It’s now dark outside. He struggles to pull himself to shore. When he gets out the water he can see his wounds are both bleeding heavily. He wraps a nearby towel around each of them. He looks around but sees no sign of Breeze.
On the floor he sees his fallen phone. On it is a message from Annie reading
'Gone to bed, hope Snivley is ok'
FADE TO BLACK
Each of the first trumpets are met with a shot of a champion: first Spud, then Priscilla, Spud again, then Priscilla. As the beat lays down, we flash between nine of tonight’s challengers: Phil Goode, Big Homunculus, Ruxx Rampede, Barron Boneius, Raging Dead, Orange Cassidy, Laci Valentine, Dyno-Mike, and Mag Aluf.
The first verse is accompanied by shots of the Austin-Booker feud: Austin’s first interruption; his assault on Booker in the truck and on the bridge; 3BN, Stevie Ray, Lance Storm, and Bret Hart all training up Booker; Booker’s return; Austin’s attacks on PrimeTime IX; Harlem Heat’s home invasion; Booker goring Austin off the loading dock; as Slick begins the hook, Booker and Austin in the jail cell, staring each other down.
The hook flashes through various shots of the Elimination Chamber, the blueprints, the construction, and the completed structure hanging over an empty Yankee Stadium. Shots of all its participants in some of their best moments (Orange Cassidy casually walking down a ramp at his personal sense of peace; Boneius with the entirety of his Legion at full capacity; Dyno-Mike pushing a cigar through Black Clyde’s eye; Big Homunculus jumping out of Roderick Kross’ mom’s house window), lastly the World’s Champion, a bloody mess behind the gate-like steel cage from PrimeTime XII, a winner after a grueling main event.
The second verse highlights the Championship Scramble occurrence: Phil Goode pinning Dead with the Goode Day; Laci taking out S2 and Prince Albert on PrimeTime IX; Mag Aluf bopping around somewhere backstage, groping some woman; Ruxx Rampede loading a garbage truck; Raging Dead after one of his many wins. Lastly, Rockstar Spud wearing his ‘THE CHAMP IS HERE’ shirt the night he debuted it, seven days after winning the title.
The hook plays again, to highlight the four teams in the ladder match to determine the first AWF World Tag Champions: firstly Stand Up Smack Down after their first win as a tag team; Tokyo Vice standing, four strong, on the ladders during PrimeTime IX; Best Friends after winning the first tag team match in AWF history; and lastly Death by Elbow in their debuting entrance. Flashes of ladders, their dimensions, a quick glance at the titles, then highlights of Tokyo Vice wiping everyone out with those steel ladders.
The third verse is skipped -- right into another smooth loop of the chorus as views of the Five Boroughs assorts before the screen. Letting over top:
END OF THE U.S. TOUR
THE HEART OF AMERICA
NEW YORK CITY
ALBERTA WRESTLING FEDERATION PRESENTS
A flash into the Stadium, where pyrotechnics blast off the loudest ever heard in our history so far. Fireworks are coming from every possible point in the arena: across the exterior edges, from both stages -- two long ramps, double the size of the normal PrimeTime entranceway, emanating from both dugouts toward the ring, that has taken over where would be just north of second base, at the onset of the outfield -- and out of the other parts of the arena decked out for the display. Cameras catch it all, before settling on a wide shot that shows not only the jam packed stadium, but the massive Elimination Chamber looming over the entire event.
The hook continues looping as we continue cutting through the venue, before a cross-dissolve puts us ringside, where there are two announce booths: one for our normal English announce team, and the one to the left for Sylvian Grenier and Renee Dupree of our French announce team. For this English speaking broadcast, we cross-dissolve to the camera view closest to Jim Ross and Christian Cage.
Jim Ross: Welcome ladies and gentlemen Alberta Wrestling Federation’s Brawl at Yankee Stadium! I’m Jim Ross, sat alongside former multi-time wrestling world’s champion, Christian Cage! We’re here in The Bronx and an electric crowd has sold us out! History has already been made tonight, just us sitting where we sit, put there’s plenty more incoming, I can promise you that!
Christian Cage: No doubt, JR! Not only will the Rockstar Spud have to defend his title in our first ever Championship Scramble, but Priscilla Kelly’s World’s Championship is gonna be up for grabs (pointing up toward the hellacious contraption) in that Elimination Chamber! They both have a whole lot to prove, but you can’t forget about Commissioner Booker and ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin’s Three Stages of Hell clash -- the winner’s got the job!
Jim Ross: It’s All About Austin, Cage; don’t you forget it! But you talk about history, you can’t forget about how we’re startin’ this one off -- and we’re startin’ hot -- with that quadruple ladder match to crown our inaugural Alberta Wrestling Federation World Tag Team Champions! First, a look at one of those teams: Tokyo Vice!
FLASH OF THE BRAWL AT YANKEE STADIUM LOGO
The following has been translated into English, so that it is easier for you to understand.
Previously, On Tokyo Vice.
Flashes of the previous episode of Tokyo Vice play to start this episode off, we see The Moon Bear, we see Shibata PK'ing bears into trees, we see Nakamura dancing with the bears and in the final scene, we see Shibata and Io come face to face with the King Bear. The one in the wrestling singlet.
鈴木 実
(Suzuki Minoru)
(Come on you two. You said you could do it on your own. What is going to happen when you two fight for the tag team championships?)
柴田勝頼
(Shibata Katsuyori)
(I mean, for one thing. WE WON'T BE FIGHTING A FUCKING BEAR! WHY DOES HE ONLY HAVE THREE LEGS?!?)
鈴木 実
(Suzuki Minoru)
(Who says you won't be? This is a situation that you might find yourself in. Now, FIGHT THE BEAR!)
紫雷 イオ
(Shirai Io)
(Do we really need to?)
As Io asks the question, the bear comes charging in and takes a swipe at Io, who uses her natural skill and speed to dodge the attack, Then Shibata goes to PK the bear and misses, the bear then flings its paw and sends Shibata flying into the tree line, because this bear is a smart bear… also the boss bear. We know this because it's the final bear they have to fight, it has three legs, and because it's wearing the wrestling singlet.
紫雷 イオ
(Shirai Io)
(Jesus Christ… do we really need to fight this fucking thing?)
鈴木 実
(Suzuki Minoru)
(Ask a dumb question like that again and I will join the bears team. Just defeat the bear without any help from myself or Shinsuke, understand?)
Io nods, and goes to charge the bear, which quickly doges out of the way.
紫雷 イオ
(Shirai Io)
(This fucking thing is quicker than i thought! Shibata? Where are you?)
Cut to Shibata knocked out by a tree, Shirai runs over to him and tries to wake him up, slapping him in the face a couple of times, the bear just stands up on its hind legs and lets out a roar unlike those we have already heard on this episode…
(Meanwhile, inside Shibata's mind:)
紫雷 イオ
(Shibata Io)
(Shibata! SHIBATA! HEY! WAKE THE FUCK UP!)
And with that, Shibata comes out of the daze he was in, just as the Bear is coming charging in for another attack, Shibata pushes Io out of the way and prepares to give the bear a big fuckin headbutt.
*CRACK*
Bear is standing, so is Shibata, who now has a single stream of blood coming down his forehead. Io is standing there in shock, Suzuki is laughing at the tenacity that Shibata is showing here, Shinsuke and the other bear are still dancing away, not giving a fuck.
柴田勝頼
(Shibata Katsuyori)
(Well, Well, Well, Mr Bear… you are putting on quite the fight here… are you sure you want to continue this?)
The bear lets out a mighty roar in response to Shibatas question, what it does not see is Io Shirai, who has managed to climb herself into a tree, and is perched and ready, Suzuki see’s this and cracks a smile, knowing that they have figured it all out. Shibata smirks, wipes some of the blood off his forehead and gives himself some war paint from it.
柴田勝頼
(Shibata Katsuyori)
(Heh… I guess this will be your funeral then...stupid bear.)
And with that Shibata is off, open palm strike after open palm strike, trying to wear the bear down, he grabs a hold of the bear by its mask and rips it open, exposing all the battle scars that are underneath it. Shibata cares no less, strike after strike until the bear finally has some color coming through, the bear eventually fights Shibata off, going for a massive lariat but Shibata ducks it, grabbing its arm, going behind…
ビッチメーカー ! ! ! ! ! ! !
(B I T C H M A K E R R R R!!!!!!!!)
Shibata hits the biggest bitchmaker he has ever hit! The bear goes tumbling over, Io, perched on a tree branch close by, see’s this. She turns around and prepares… Suzuki, Shinsuke, and the other bears are all eyes on this fight. Waiting Io’s next move…
ムーンサルト ! ! ! ! ! ! !
(MOONSAULT!!!!!!!)
Shirai hits the nastiest looking moonsault she has ever hit! Bear is out of it… Shibata then looks down at the bear, then back at Suzuki, who tips his hat at him. Shibata smiles, sits the bear up… backs up about ten paces… AND CHARGES IN!
PK!!!!!!!!!!!!
And with that final move, the bear gets sent to the fucking moon… to join the skeleton of Desmond. Never to be seen again.
鈴木 実
(Suzuki Minoru)
(I must admit… I never thought you two would have it in you to do it. I am glad I was proven wrong…)
Minoru Suzuki is walking towards them, and places a hand on each of their shoulders.
鈴木 実
(Suzuki Minoru)
(You two are ready for the challenges that will face you now. We must return home… for it is beginning to get dark.)
Shibata and Shirai smile at each other… doing good for Suzuki puts them in his good books for a while now, he believes that they have what it takes to win… that they have what it takes to become champion… will they fulfil that destiny? Find out next time on…
東京バイス!
(TOKYO VICE!)
CROSS-DISSOLVE BACK INTO THE ARENA
AWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
First shot: the two, brand new, AWF World Tag Team Championship belts twenty-five feet from the canvas: black-strapped trophies with a centerplate baring striking resemblance to the World Class Wrestling Tag Team Championship of old in terms of shape, deep inspiration from the old 1980s World Wrestling Federation Tag Team and Intercontinental Championship in design: the ‘WORLD’ largely and proudly across the middle, while ribbons decorated over the top read ‘ALBERTA WRESTLING FEDERATION’ and ‘TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS’ lining the bottom. These titles feature two side plates on either side of the center: closest the golden Maple Leaf as on the AWF World’s Championship, then the golden shape of Alberta as featured on the AWF Provincial Championship on the outskirts.
A panning from this, down to Mark Beverly, standing directly below, center of the ring.
Mark Beverly: The following is a Quadruple Ladder Match, to crown the first-ever Alberta Wrestling Federation World Tag Team Champions!
The crowd pop for the announcement, before the cheers continue, as slowly, out onto the left stage, emerge the two members of Tokyo Vice fighting that night, the Wrestler, Katsuyori Shibata, and the Evil of the Sky, Io Shirai.
Mark Beverly: In first, represented tonight by Katsuyori Shibata, and Io Shirai… TOKYOOOOOOOO!!!! VIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCEEE!!!!!!
As Shibata takes the lead, snarling with an intense expression as he moves down to the ring, Io slowly follows behind, a sullen and focussed look on her face, as she drags their team's ladder out with her. As they get down to the ring, she moves around to the side of the ring, and props it up, looking up at the vast height of the ladder.
With a smile and a nod, she rolls into the ring to join her tag partner of the night Katsuyori, who warms up, eyes resting on the glittering title belts dangling near 25 feet above the ring. His eyes come down to meet Io's, who rests her hands over Shibata's shoulders.
The two stare at one another, nodding, as they prepare to get focussed.
The lights dim, the stage only illuminated by a small, dark, green glow. Two silhouetted figures move out slowly onto the two stages, one from the left, one from the right. The crowd sit in anticipation of who the two figures are, before as the music hits 0:27, the lights lift up, and it's revealed…
It's Kolotov and Leslie, dressed up in Ghostbusters gear, big smiles on their faces. They pull their Proton Pack guns into their hands, before suddenly firing them off into the audience… they're T-SHIRT GUNS!!! Hawaii Bone-O shirts go flying into the crowd, caught by eager fans who scream and cheer for the two celebrities.
Mark Beverly: And in next, the team of Leslie Jones, and Kolotov Dracislav… STAND UP! SMAAAAAAACKKK!!! DOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWNNNNNNN!!!!
Kolotov and Leslie meet at the ramp in the middle, before clanking their proton pack guns together, and moving down to the ring. As they slide under the bottom rope together, they come to a stop before Tokyo Vice, before ripping off their Ghostbuster costumes… to reveal matching Ghostbuster inspired wrestling singlets underneath!
Leslie gives Kolotov a pat on the back, laughing excitedly as Kolotov returns a smile at her. Suddenly though, his face shows a hint of sadness, as he looks back up the ramp and at the curtains. He gulps, then sighs, before moving over to his corner with Leslie.
The crowd pop, as out onto the right stage, steps the Best Friends themselves, Chuck Taylor and Trent Beretta. Trent is all dressed up, adorned in the classic pinstripe Yankee jersey, the Thurman Munson number #15, matching black eye goop. Chuck meanwhile is dressed up in baseball Umpire gear, helmet and all, before the pair grin up at the cheering crowd, before embracing one another with a hug.
Mark Beverly: In next, from Raccoon City, CHUCK TAYLOR and TRENT BERETTA … THE BEEEEEST FRIIIEEEEEEEEENDS!!!!
Chuck and Trent look ready to move down the ramp, before they stop themselves, look at one another, and smile. Slowly, they turn around, head back towards the curtain, and pull out a ladder. They both hold it together, grinning as they move down the ramp towards the ring with their weapon.
Upon setting up the ladder next to the ring, the pair roll inside, squaring off against their opponents, as they look up the ramp awaiting the next competitors.
The crowd cheer, as Chris is Awesome begins to play. As the song's intro starts to finish, out of the curtain on the right side of the stage, steps Chris Hero, followed closely by JT Dunn, who holds a ladder in hands.
The pair of them smile at one another, before tapping elbows, and moving slowly down the ramp.
Mark Beverly: And in next, JT Dunn and Chris Hero… DEATH! BY! ELBOOOOOOOOOWWWW!!!
The pair come to a stop halfway down the ramp, as Io Shirai and Katsuyori Shibata move towards the ropes and look down at them. Shibata looks especially aggressive, as he eyes up the pair, not forgetting the beating on him initiated by Hero the previous week.
Dunn and Hero start pointing at the members of Tokyo Vice, shouting at them.
Chris Hero: Oh you want a round two huh!? You want a round two!?
JT Dunn: You ready Chris!
Chris Hero: Fuck yeah!
JT Dunn: We storm the ring on three!
One!
Two!
Thre-
ELBOW!!! AN ELBOW ROCKS OFF OF JT'S SKULL!!!
As his skull rattles around in his head, JT plummets to the floor at the feet of Chris Hero, who looks down at him with a sadistic smile on his face. Tokyo Vice look confused, and JT himself can barely register what's going on, giving a dazed look up at his tag partner before stomps are rained down upon Dunn.
Jim Ross: What is going on here!?! What is going on!?
Christian Cage: Chris Hero has turned on Dunn! He's turned on Dunn!
Referees and staff are upon Hero, trying to pull him away from JT, but it's helpless, Hero fights them all off and pushes them away, before continuing his stomping down on his former tag partner. After JT has been beaten to pulp, Hero finally grabs him by the side of the head, lifting the limp Dunn to his knees, and looking down at him.
He breathes in his face for a few moments, before lifting JT up onto his shoulders…
POWERSLAM!!! RIGHT ONTO THE LADDER!!!
JT's spine contorts over the ladder, a scream of pain escaping his mouth before he goes still and silent. Boos rain down upon Hero, who just stands triumphant over the body of Dunn, before looking around him at the booing crowd. Slowly, he makes his way back up the ramp, moving up onto the left stage, before exiting.
Jim Ross: What did we just witness?
Christian Cage: I think the end of Death By Elbow, JR…
As the rest of the teams look over at JT, sprawled unconscious across the ladder halfway up the ramp, they once again slowly turn to each other, clearly bewildered, but nonetheless still prepared for the fight. There's one less team now it seems, but that only makes each remaining pair hungrier for the victory.
The referee at ringside gives a few confused looks from JT to the ring, before deciding the match needs to begin, and calls for the bell.
Ding!
And we're thrust into action.
The trio of teams circle one another, scoping each other out, but ever the aggressor Shibata is the first to move. He dives at Chuck Taylor, sending a forearm at his head, but it's ducked by Chuck, before he sends a gut kick at Shibata! The foot is caught, but Taylor leaps…
Enziguiri!!!
NO!!! Io dropkicks Chuck mid-air!!! Taylor crashes to the mat before quickly rolling out of the ring, with his tag partner Trent attempting vengeance! He grabs Io by the head, forcing her to her feet, but doesn't expect a ringing forearm to be sent into the back of his head! He collapses forwards, before rolling into the turnbuckle!
Kolotov is up now, sending a fist at Shibata, before trying to lock Io up for a suplex… Shibata is right back at him though, sending a boot to his mid-section, before he and Io both lock up Kolotov for a double-suplex…
They lift him!!!
But NO! Leslie grabs her tag partners legs, holding him in place, before thrusting him back down to his feet! Kolotov uses the momentum, and his own strength, to hit a DOUBLE VERTICAL LIFTING FACE SLAM of his OWN to both members of Tokyo Vice! They clutch at their stomachs, before both rolling out of the ring as well!
Leslie pats Kolotov on the back in celebration, before they both turn into a double dropkick from Trent Beretta! Kolotov collapses through the middle rope and to the outside, whilst Leslie crumples into the corner! Trent goes to follow up, but Leslie ducks! Lifting Trent into the air, over the top rope, and onto the apron!
Leslie turns, right into an elbow to the mouth from Beretta! She stumbles into the middle of the ring, where Trent measures her… he bounds onto the top rope…
SPRINGBOARD!!!
NO!!! Leslie crashes a BIG BOOT into Trent mid-air, forcing him down to the mat! He clutches at his chest, as Leslie raises her arms in the air, the winner of this first little skirmish to kick off the match!
Until she feels a ladder clatter into her foot. She looks behind her, to see Chuck Taylor has thrown in the ladder, before climbing into the ring himself and diving at Leslie! He sends shots at her head, rocking the SNL star, before jumping at the ropes and bounding back, going for a DDT!
But Leslie bats him out of the air!
She tries to follow up, but Trent is upon her… ENZIGUIRI! His foot connects with the side of Leslie's head! Chuck follows up… and hits another! Leslie is stunned, legs wobbly, barely about to stay in place… Trent and Chuck both lock eyes on the ladder behind her, and charge…
DOUBLE DROPKICK!!!
Leslie collides back first with the ladder!!! She roars in pain before rolling backwards, tumbling out of the ring. The Best Friends turn to one another, and hug, before Kolotov is upon them! He grabs their heads, and slams them together!!!
Trent flings backwards to the mat, the umpire helmet doing a lot of damage to his skull, but protecting Chuck! Kolotov notices this, and yanks the helmet off of Chuck, before clocking it over his cranium! Chuck hits the mat, as Kolotov lifts up the ladder, and sets it up below the championship belts.
Kolotov looks ready to climb…
...but Shirai is in the ring! She dives at the ladder, perfectly weaving her body feet first through two of the rungs, before landing a dropkick across Kolotov's stomach! The Vampire keels over, as Io follows up by grabbing his head, and slamming it into one of the rungs on the ladder. Kolotov collapses over, as Io starts to climb!
Trent is in the ring though, dashing over to Io and yanking her back down. She lands a high kick into his head, sending Trent stumbling backwards into the turnbuckle, before she goes to follow up with a Shinkanesen Attack!!!
Trent ducks! Shirai hits into the top rope, knocking her forward before she smacks her head on the ring post! She's dizzy, as she slumps into the turnbuckle, but Trent has her measured… he runs…
MONKEY FLIP!!!
Io's sent through the air… COLLIDING BACK FIRST WITH THE LADDER SET UP IN THE RING!!! She plummets to the mat, the steel ladder collapsing on top of her!
Trent cheers, before as he turns, his own face is met with the end of a ladder! Shibata is in the ring, ladder held high! Kolotov gets to his feet, and Shibata crashes the end of the ladder into his face. Chuck is up too, and almost meets the same fate, but ducks just in time! He bounds off the ropes, before sending a low dropkick at Shibata's knees!
Shibata stumbles! He hits FACE FIRST into the ladder!
As Shibata clutches at his face, Chuck is off the ropes, bounding at Shibata! He leaps through the air, onto Katsuyori's shoulders…
HURRICANRANA!!!
NO!!!
Shibata holds Chuck in place, before lifting him back up onto his shoulders…
POWERBOMB!!! RIGHT ONTO THE LADDER!!!
Chuck screams, before rolling off of the ladder out of the ring! Shibata takes advantage of all the downed opponents, setting up the ladder, and getting ready to climb!
But Leslie Jones is back in the ring, she darts at the ladder, climbs up after Shibata, and grabs a hold of him! She wrenches him back hard, forcing Katsuyori to collide hard with the top rope, before flinging over it and collapsing to the concrete outside! Having rid of one of her Tokyo Vice opponents, Leslie begins to climb herself!
But Io Shirai is up! She bolts at the ladder, before slamming it with a dropkick! The ladder folds in on itself, before suddenly losing balance and tipping Leslie towards the ropes! Leslie tumbles off, heading out of the ring straight into the path of Shibata…
He sees her coming…
JUMPING KNEE!!! Right into Leslie's face as she's MID-AIR!!! The pair tumble to the floor, with Leslie landing in an unconscious heap!
Io is already upon Kolotov, sending shots down at him, before she grabs the ladder and places it over the top rope in the corner. She looks from it, over to Kolotov, before lifting the Vampire to his feet, and aims him at the ladder! She charges with him, and tosses Kolotov…
But he ducks! Sliding on his knees under the ladder, before standing up, his head going through the middle rung, as he turns to Io, the ladder with him! He has hit balanced perfectly over his shoulders, his head poking through the middle, before he runs at Shirai and clotheslines her with it! Io goes down, as Trent gets up, just for Kolotov to spin around and clatter him across the head with the end of the ladder! Chuck is slowly up too, still clutching his back, only to meet the same fate!
But Shibata has climbed onto the turnbuckle, out of range of Kolotov's attacks as he spins in the ring, trying to clatter everyone with the ladder!
Shibata waits patiently, watching Kolotov spin around, until he starts to slow…
...now's his time!
Shibata leaps through the air… before landing perfectly on the ladder over Kolotov's shoulders! He runs across it quickly, his sights aimed right at Kolotov's head through that middle rung…
SOCCER KICK!!! Right to Kolotov's HEAD!!!
Kolotov collapses over, the ladder tumbling off of his shoulders, as Shibata lands to the mat on his feet! He watches as Kolotov manages to land face down onto the ladder that falls off of his head, before he gestures over to Io… who seems to already have the same idea.
She's climbing to the top rope!
Once there, she looks down at Kolotov, before quickly spinning around…
...she leaps!
MOONSAULT!!!
RIGHT ONTO KOLOTOV ON THE LADDER!!!
The nasty sound of flesh stabbing into the metal is heard, as an agonised scream escapes the Vampire, before he rolls slowly out of the ring! Io clutches her stomach as well, clambering to her knees, before a dropkick to the face from Taylor sends her down! Shibata can't react fast enough, before Beretta has him in his line of sight…
SEXY CHUCKIE KNEE!!!
Shibata clatters to the mat! The Best Friends are on their feet, fired up, as they look down at Shibata. Trent moves over to the ladder, and sets it up… in the corner of the ring?
Jim Ross: What's he doing here!? That's nowhere near the belts!
Trent starts to climb, as Chuck slowly picks up Shibata… before getting him into a CRADLE BACK TO BELLY PILEDRIVER POSITION!!!
Trent turns around on the ladder, and takes aim at Shibata…
HE LEAPS!!!
STOMP!!! OFF THE LADDER!!! HE SPIKES THE PILEDRIVER!!! SHIBATA HITS THE MAT BRUTALLY HEAD FIRST!!!
Shibata lays there unconscious, as the Best Friends move to their knees, both slapping each other on the chest excitedly. They get to their feet, before moving over to the ladder, and dragging it to the centre of the ring. The pair take a side each, and start to climb!
As they're halfway up the ladder, smiles on their faces…
...neither of them notice Io Shirai on the top turnbuckle…
SHE LEAPS!
And lands next to Trent on the ladder!!!
Trent looks shocked, but before he can react, Io grabs his head, and sends his mouth right into one of the rungs of the ladder! Trent collapses off, rolling out of the ring, as Io ascends to meet Chuck who's picked up the pace to make it to the top of the ladder.
Shirai throws a strike into Chuck's stomach, who keels over, before throwing his own at Io's head! She teeters backwards, holding onto the top of the ladder, before yanking herself backwards and sending a forearm into Chuck's mouth! It's Chuck's turn to almost collapse off the ladder, but he holds on too!
Chuck bounds back with another strike! Then it's Shirai's turn! Then Chuck's! Then Shirai's! The two exchange shot after shot after shot, both of them going dizzy as they slam fist after fist into each other's skulls! Finally, the pair rear their hands back, and dizzy each other with two huge strikes to each other's faces!
They both teeter to the right slightly, almost falling off…
...WHICH TIPS THE LADDER!!!
IT STARTS TO FALL!!!
BOTH OF THEM FALL STRAIGHT OUT OF THE RING TO THE CONCRETE FLOOR!!!!
Christian Cage: Holy shit!!! This is giving me flashbacks JR!
Bodies everywhere! Leslie, Shibata, Chuck, Shirai, Kolotov, Trent, all laying still in various parts of the arena floor! The crowd are on their feet, cheering in anticipation for who will get to their feet first…
And it's…
IT'S….
....JT DUNN!
The crowd pop, as JT, clutching his stomach and head, gets up. He looks up at the crowd, a look of disbelief on his face, of sadness. He turns around, looking up at the two stages, and he scrunches up his face, closing his eyes in disbelief. He just stands there, looking lost in thought, unsure of what to do.
His tag team partner… his friend… has betrayed him.
But as he opens his eyes again, and looks up at the glittering Championship Belts hanging above the ring, his face goes determined. He takes a deep breath, before he begins to move down to the ring.
The crowd pop, as JT climbs inside, passing all of the unconscious bodies on the outside. He picks up the tipped over ladder, and places it back up in the centre of the ring!
JT starts to climb, the crowd going crazy!
Christian Cage:: What happens if he wins this JR?
Jim Ross: I'm not sure Cage, but I think we're going to find out!
JT is on the top rung… he reaches up…
His hands touch the belts…
BUT HE'S YANKED BACK DOWN!!! ONTO LESLIE'S SHOULDERS!!!
She gets ready to powerbomb JT, but he sends shot after shot into her head, prompting her to have to let him go! He slides off of her shoulders, before sending a nasty elbow right into her head! She goes stiff, before plummeting to the mat!
JT turns around, hand back on the ladder, slowing re-climbing…
But he's wrenched off the ladder!
Into the arms Minoru Suzuki!!!
The rest of TOKYO VICE are here!!!
JT tries to fight against Suzuki, but he has a rear-naked choke locked in, draining the life force from Dunn! Shinsuke Nakamura is in the ring now too, steel chair in hand, and Suzuki props up JT as Nakamura takes aim at his head…
Shinsuke charges with the chair!
But Dunn ducks out of the way!!!
The chair RATTLES off of Suzuki's skull!!!
Suzuki teeters backwards, as Nakamura turns around into a DOUBLE KNEE FACE-BUSTER!!! Nakamura flops to the mat, as Dunn picks up the chair, and aims it at Suzuki!
SMACK!!!
The steel chair rings off of Suzuki's head, but he remains stood! Dunn aims again…
SMACK!!!
ANOTHER ONE!!!
But Suzuki still stands! Dunn takes aim once more…
AND A THIRD BRUTAL SMACK!!! Finally Suzuki collapses backwards, tumbling between the ropes and to the outside! Dunn drops the chair, before looking back up the ladder, and beginning his ascent once more!
The crowd cheer, as JT gets closer and closer to the top, until once again he's on the top rung, his fingers touching the belt…
He gets a hold of one of them!
But before he can wrench it free… Shinsuke Nakamura is in the ring, running up the other side of the ladder lightning fast…
BOMAYE!!! KINSHASA!!! OFF THE TOP OF THE LADDER!!!!
Dunn flips through the air, before crashing down hard to the mat!!! Shinsuke lands next to him, and the crowd are screaming at the move, chanting 'HOLY SHIT!' over and over again!
Leslie Jones is back in the ring though, clearly knackered, as she slowly makes her way over to Shinsuke who's trying to stir back to his feet… she locks him up…
SATURDAY NIGHTMARE LIVE!!! Leslie crashes Shinsuke down to the mat hard!!!
Trent Beretta is up on the outside, and grabs Leslie's legs before pulling her under the bottom rope and out of the ring! She slams down hard onto the concrete, before Trent grabs the other ladder on the outside, and sets it up balanced horizontally, one end on the ring apron, and the other end on the announce table!
He lifts Leslie to her feet, before getting ready to irish whip her into the ladder…
...but Kolotov is upon him! He clubs Trent in the back, before slamming him face first into the horizontal ladder himself! Trent looks dazed, but Kolotov sizes him up and charges…
But Trent ducks!
BACK BODY DROP!!!
Kolotov goes spine first into the ladder! He cries out in pain as he bounces off of it, before crumpling to the concrete floor and going still! Trent re-adjusts the ladder, before he turns around to move back at Leslie… but she's up on her feet! She grabs Trent by the head, and tosses him at the barricade, watching him sail straight over!
Leslie is back into the ring quickly, moving over to the ladder that still stands in the ring. Everyone else is down, it's a clear climb for Leslie…
With a gulp, she starts to move up the ladder, the gold of the belts glistening in the reflection of her eyes…
Leslie starts to climb, rung by rung…
She's at the top! She reaches up…
Leslie stops. Her eyes dart up to the stages hectically, as the Shield theme plays. The World Tag Team Championship belts are gone from her mind…
...now she can only think of Michael Chiklis.
She looks on in horror, still stood atop the ladder, waiting for her nemesis to arrive…
But the theme continues to play… and there is no Michael Chiklis.
As quickly as it arrived, the theme dies out. Leslie remains atop the ladder, eyes wide, body frozen, unmoving. She looks shaken, terrified. She can barely move from her spot up top the ladder.
But she doesn't need to!
Io Shirai is in the ring, jumping up onto the ladder and locking up Leslie! Io turns her head, eyeing the steel chair layed on the mat, and yanks Leslie off of the ladder…
DDT!!! Right into the STEEL CHAIR!!!
Leslie's head bounces off of the steel nastily, before she rolls out of the ring and slumps to the concrete unconscious! Io rolls over to the ropes herself, clutching at her back as she moves into the ring… but Chuck Taylor is there, lifting up the steel chair!
He throws it to Io, who catches it instinctively, suddenly regretting that decision… but it's too late! Chuck leaps into the air… and hits a JUMPING BIG BOOT on the CHAIR!!! It clatters into Shirai's face, knocking her clean out!!! Shirai tumbles backwards out of the ring, as Chuck looks upwards at the Championship Belts!
But he's grabbed from behind… Chuck is spun around, his arm locked up… RIPCORD HEADBUTT!!! Chuck collapses to the mat, as Katsuyroi Shibata stands above him! Shibata looks from Taylor, to the Championship Belts, and starts to climb…
He ascends the ladder slowly, but manages to get to the top…
...he reaches up to the belts…
BUT TRENT IS BOLTING UP THE OTHER SIDE OF THE LADDER!!!
Beretta fires blow after blow into the head of Shibata, trying to knock him dizzy, but Katsuyori sees it coming, and begins to block Beretta's shots! He clutches Beretta by the head, before sending headbutt after headbutt into his skull! Beretta looks to be fading, as Shibata's hard cranium crashes down upon him over and over and over!
As Beretta slumps, almost tumbling off of the ladder, Shibata preps him for one last headbutt…
But CHUCK WHACKS A STEEL CHAIR OVER SHIBATA'S BACK!!!
Katsuyori cries out, losing his hold of Beretta! Trent looks up at the Championship Belts, the thought in his head of how hard he's worked to get these, and he feels a surge of energy within! Fighting through the pain and dizziness, he climbs up the ladder, meeting the gaze of Shibata, before locking him up in a suplex position…
With one huge roar, Trent lifts Shibata up onto his shoulders...
SUPERPLEX!!!!!! TO THE OUTSIDE!!! RIGHT THROUGH THE LADDER THAT WAS HORIZONTALLY SET UP!!! IT SNAPS IN HALF AS THE TWO MEN PLUMMET THROUGH IT!!!
The crowd go wild, as Trent and Shibata slump still, completely wiped out. Chuck looks at the wreckage created by his Best Friend, before his eyes quickly dart to the ladder… he knows he can't let his friend's sacrifice be in vain.
Chuck starts to climb, taking the rungs like he's climbing Everest, tired out and knackered from the match he's been put through. He gets closer and closer to the belts until he's at the top…
...he reaches up…
AND UNHOOKS THE BELTS!!!
The bell rings, and the crowd roar with cheers!
Trent and Chuck have done it! They've won! They're the first ever AWF World Tag Team Champions!!!
Chuck cries out, holding both Championship Belts above his head in celebration, still sat atop the ladder. Kolotov has awoken on the outside, leaning against the barricade, looking sullen and defeated, but begrudgingly clapping and paying respect to his opponent. Leslie seems to want to do the same, but her eyes rest on the stage, almost as if expecting Chiklis' music to hit again… thought it doesn't.
JT meanwhile just rests on his knees, barely able to stand, looking at the concrete floor before him. His mind is swimming with thoughts, not of the loss, but of the betrayal earlier on by Chris Hero. Slowly, he lets himself rest once more on the concrete floor.
Mark Beverly: And your winners, and FIRST EVER Alberta Wrestling Federation WORLD! TAG! TEAM! CHAMPIONS!!! TRENT BERETTA AND CHUCK TAYLOR… THE BEST FRIIIIEEEEEEEENNNDDSSSS!!!!!
Chuck slowly climbs down the ladder, tag belts in hand, before climbing out of the ring to move to the side of his Best Friend Trent, still laid unconscious through the broken ladder. Chuck hugs him, before laying one of the belts over Trent's chest! Taylor continues to hugs his unconscious, and yet victorious, Best Friend, as the scene fades out.
The Best Friends d. Tokyo Vice, Stand Up Smack Down, and Death By Elbow to become the inaugural AWF World Tag Team Champions in 19:21.
FADE OUT
Where we were meant to have a sponsor break, an ominous message appears instead.
Don’t ask how obtained this footage.
Big Bone Pilot
After the breakout success of Hawaii Bone-O the executives at FOX were looking to expand the Boneius brand. The Barron agreed to work on the pilot for another show on the promise that he would have complete and total creative control. A budget was provided to the Barron and he left. The following is that pilot, made without writers, directors and a general crew. Most of the dialogue is improvised. Upon watching the pilot FOX hired a crack team of mercenaries to track down and destroy all copies. This is the final copy.
Fade into
Officer Bone and Officer Big walk into a back alley. There are police and medics already rushing around on the scene. Both officers are dressed in very similar brown suits. An officer runs up to them.
Officer Monty
Thank god you’re here Big Bone, you might want these, this one’s pretty messy.
He hands the pair both latex gloves. Officer Big casually eats his. They approach a body lying on the ground. It’s a woman with a bruise on her head lying still. There are some sticks beside her head.
Officer Monty
We found her like this. My boys ain’t got no ideas, that’s why we called you.
Officer Big gets down on his hands and knees and looks at the bruise.
Officer Big
I think she was hit.
Officer Bone
That would explain the bruise.
Officer Big
What would?
Officer Bone
If she was hit.
Officer Big
Oh.
They both nod.
Officer Big
We’ll find out who did this.
Officer Bone
The hitting he means.
Officer Big
Yes the hitting, we will solve it.
Officer Bone
Yes we will.
Officer Monty tips his cap to the pair.
Officer Monty
Thanks Big Bone, I hope the commissioner is ok with you guys helping us out here.
Officer Bone and Officer Big walk into Commissioner Crankies’ office. He’s sat loading a revolver as they enter.
Crankie
WHAT IN NIXONS WARDROBE ARE YOU DOING HERE?
Officer Bone
We’re helping out on a new case, thought we should let you know.
Officer Big throws some case notes on the desk with such vigour they fly all around the room.
Crankie
A CUNTING MURDER! I GAVE YOU BOTH ONE FUCKING BLOODY SIMPLE TASK, STOP DRUGS AND YET HERE YOU ARE TRYING TO STOP A MURDER.
Officer Big
What it they’re related.
Crankie
ARE THEY?
Offcier Big
I don’t think so.
Officer Bone
Maybe.
Officer Big
They might be.
Crankie
ENOUGH! DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A 2010 CHRISTIAN BALE FILM TO YOU TWO! NO?! THEN QUIT YOUR THE FIGHTER-ING. GET SHITTING OUT THERE AND STOP DRUGS OR I’M SHUTTING DOWN THE BIG BONE PROGRAM FOR GOOD YOU FUCKING WALNUT LOOKING ARSE CHEEKS.
Big and Bone are both in a police car driving down the street in silence. This goes on for 20 seconds.
Officer Big Officer Bone
So how do we sto- How do we sto-
Officer Bone groans. They sit in silence for another 10 seconds.
Officer Big
We need to find were drugs are made. How do you make drugs?
Officer Bone
In a cauldron.[
Officer Big lets out a loud ‘Hmm’.
Officer Big
We need to go somewhere with cauldrons.
Officer Bone
Why?
Officer Big
For the drugs.
Officer Bone
Why would there be, oh, ok, I understand.
After a beat, Officer Big switches on the radio. After a few seconds Officer Bone switches it off.
Officer Bone
I have an idea where to go.
Officer Big
Ok.
Officer Bone
Ok.
Officer Big switches the radio back on.
They drive past a sign reading ‘Welcome to Salem’
They arrive in the middle of the quaint village. They both get out of the vehicle.
Officer Big points up to the sky.
Officer Big
Look.
Officer Bone gets a call. He immediately takes it and walks away. Officer Big remains pointing at the sky. Following his finger we see he is pointing to a witch flying on a broom. She lands beside him. The witch looks old and boney.
Witch
Well well, if it isn’t Big Bone. I suppose you’ve come to stop me making all the drugs. Ha, you know what happened to the last person that tried that.
Flashback to
The witch hitting the lady from the alley in the head with her broom.
Cut back to
Officer Bone on the phone.
Officer Bone
It’s B-O-N, O, like orange. No orange. The fruit.
Behind him in the distance Officer Big walks up the frail old Witch, lifts her above his head and slams her down onto his knee. The witch starts screaming profanities and also just generally screaming.
Officer Big
It’s done
Officer Bone (Down the phone)
I’ll call you back.
Officer Bone notices the witch.
Officer Bone and Officer Big both have mini-guns in hand and sunglasses on. They stand over the witch.
Officer Bone
Hubble Bubble, Toil and Trouble, let’s turn this dirty witch to –
Officer Big
Bubble.
They pause for exactly 11 seconds.
Witch
Am I -
They both start firing at her as a sick electric guitar string plays.
Back at the station the two walk in as everyone stands up and applauds. They walk into Commissioner Crankies’ office.
Crankie
LOOKS LIKE YOU BLOODY MAVERICKS ACTUALLY DID IT. CALL ME A TREE AND HARVEST ME YOU ACTUALLY STOPPED DRUGS.
Officer Big
Yes.
Officer Bone
And the cases were related in the end.
Officer Big
Yes, they were related.
Officer Bone
The cases that is.
Officer Big
Yes.
Crankie
WELL DONE ON DOUBLE THE VICTORY THEN.
The officers stand stock still for a long moment
Crankie
HOLD YOUR FUCKING HORSES BIG BONE; DON’T GO CUNTING CELEBRATING TOO SOON. I’VE JUST RECEIVED SHITTING WORD THAT GANGS ARE IN THE CITY. YOU HAVE A NEW ASSIGNMENT GET OUT THERE AND MAKE NO GANGS.
Officer Big
Will our work ever be over, or is crime part of life, we ended drugs, but look at the cost. Will the need for Big Bone ever pass, or are we doomed to repeat this cycle forever.
Officer Bone receives another call and leaves.
Credits Roll
Immediately following the last PrimeTime.
Spud stumbles to the backstage area, ice pack on his head, another strapped to his midsection and another strapped to his leg.
Spud walks to the trainers room but stops to see a banged up Priscilla Kelly stood alone seemingly in deep thought.
Spud
Listen Kelly, if I never have to team with you again I'll die a happy man, we're fire and ice, rubber and glue, we don't go. All the same good fucking job tonight champ.
Spud offers his fist to Priscilla who bumps it but still stares blankly at the wall.
Spud wanders past Priscilla to bench in a trainers room, placing the Provincial title beside him. He looks up to see his face in the mirror, fat lipped, bruised, bump to the dead, he see's a glimpse of his childhood self after fighting.
Spud smirks at his reflection, his smile becomes bigger, an almost Foley-esq maniacal smile appears.
Spud spits blood defiantly on the floor and chuckles, his chuckle becoming a crazed laugh.
Spud
Gonna have to do better than that.
Spud gives the belt a boisterous slap.
Outside the door Spud hears Austin incoherently annoyedly stomping around backstage and leaving the building. Spud smiles.
Spud
Rockstar 2, Rattlesnake 0.
Austin so flustered that a loud wail can be heard from him the garage it sounds as though he trapped his finger the door of his pick-up track.
Spud
Car door 1, Rattlesnake 0.
Spud smiles as blood drips from his lips and Austin's truck revs out of the building.
Laci Valentine
Still handsome
Spud looks up to mirror see a similarly banged up Laci Valentine stood in the doorway. He grabs her by the hand then stands up, he's inches from her, he is not gonna miss his moment again, he's on too much of a high, so's she.
The pair pull each other in tightly and share their first sober passionate kiss.
CROSS-DISSOLVE
THE SCENE FEATURES A FAMILIAR VOICE-OVER
Who said thirteen is unlucky?
By my account, this is the 13th promo that has appeared on your television screens and I'm starting it out with nothing but luck. I went out to that ring with a mission. Not to win. Not to beat Priscilla.... well... maybe that was part of it. But it wasn't to beat Spud. It was to show that mother fucking sexist pig S2 that he messed with the wrong ginger.
I can hear voices and commotion outside the makeshift examination room as the medic examines my mouth and nose. The nose hurt a lot but the medic seemed confident that all this blood was simply from a broken blood vessel and he stuck this heat thing in there to cauterize it. No broken teeth (thank god).
Then I see Spud walk by and I'm quick to jump off the bed.
Medic
Here.
The medic throws me a towel and I use it to mop up most of the blood off my face. It's a lot, but I had seen more than this from my own body before. Years of scrapping and defending myself, yet I had managed to keep my grades high and not piss off ant teachers either. I was smart, so all my fights happened outside of school.
I follow him into his room.
Laci Valentine
Still handsome.
I say with a goofy grin, hoping... no praying to whatever deity would listen that he was following our earlier agreement to keep matches separated from our personal lives. He stands up and without a word, mashes his lips into mine.
Blood, sweat... tuna? Who had tuna for lunch? Oh... right that was me... wait... why am I thinking about fish right now. Get it together Laci.
I am sure that if the circumstances were a bit different, this would probably have lead to more but I gently pull back from his face and see that his own face is also smudged with my life fluid.
What? I'm trying to be creative. Don't look at me like that!
Laci Valentine
You got a little something…
I point to my own face with a half smile and he turns to look in the mirror seeing the reddish mask staining his stubble.
Laci Valentine
Sorry. If I was expecting it, I might have cleaned myself up a little better.
He shakes his head.
Spud
It's fine. However... that kiss…
Laci Valentine
I dunno Mr.Potato head... nothing can beat Champagne kisses.
I chuckle and so does he.
***
Of course I replay this scenario over and over again in my head as Check in for my flight to New York. As I am absentmindedly watching 'lady in the water' on the little tv embedded in the headrest in front of me. And even as I am giving the concierge my credit card.
I open the door and walk in and a light flicks on.
Zaylee
Hey fucker!
I scream, throwing my bag, my phone and nearly peeing my pants because I have had to go since twenty minutes into the flight and no way I am trying to squeeze into those tiny airplane bathrooms. Once I stop screaming, Zaylee stops laughing at me.
Laci Valentine
How the fuck did you get in here!
She smiles.
Zaylee
Never underestimate a girl that used to live on the streets. I heard you were going to be in town, thought I'd drop in.
I pick up my phone, thankfully it's not damaged. Couldn't say the same for my ego though.
Laci Valentine
I heard you pulled out of that company.
Zaylee shrugs.
Zaylee
Wasn't going to work out, but this time, it was because the place was a trainwreck, not because I'm running anywhere. I'm still here, looking for other gigs.
I put my bag on the bed. Excuse myself to the washroom and groan in satisfaction as my bladder is finally relieved. I really shouldn't have been surprised that Zaylee would find a way to break into my room. I had started to figure out that even someone as unpredictable as Zay, had some predictable qualities about her.
Zaylee
So, what's going on with that Spud guy, you fuck him yet?
Zaylee says through the bathroom door. I sigh deeply into the bathroom mirror.
Laci Valentine
Not that it's any of your business, but no.
Zaylee
Why not? Haven't you only ever been with one guy before?
Clenching my fists on the counter.
Laci Valentine
What does that matter? I don't sleep around.
Zaylee
You should live a little. The guy has been pretty patient.
She wasn't wrong. He had been patient. And sweet. I just still had this anxiety ridden fear that once he got it, he would move on, conquest fulfilled. Much like Douglas had.
Douglas Park was my first and only serious boyfriend. He dressed and acted the part of being a badass punk but I knew it was all an act. And when things got too serious with me, he ended it and moved to New York.
Fuck.
Zaylee
Why don't we go find that loser and egg his house?
Laci Valentine
No Zaylee. It's over with.
Spoilsport.
***
After Zaylee had left, after getting into the mini bar of course, I settled into my night routine, and sent Spud a text before falling asleep.
”Hope to dream of you.”
That was corny. But maybe he'd be the type to appreciate it.
2:35am
It was the time that glared at me when the phone rang.
Laci Valentine
What?!
I say half asleep, half angry into the phone.
Zaylee[/b[
Meet me at the address I'm texting you. I have a present for you.
Zaylee hangs up and the text comes through almost right away.
The address. I had no idea where that was. Then another text. This one has me wide awake. It's a picture. Zaylee taking a selfie of herself and a man that's gaged. A man that looked a lot like Douglas Park.
Fuck. I was going to end up arrested.
I take it back. Definitely unlucky thirteen.
CROSS-DISSOLVE
Orange rolls out of the ring, shoves his hands in his pockets and makes his way back up the ramp. He hears the ref count in the distance and fans screaming for him, but he doesn’t care. He did what he came there to do. Walking into the gorilla position, he half expects Priscilla to be waiting for him so she could get her revenge. All he sees is a sea of production people, producers and agents staring at him, not knowing whether to clap for him or to shake their heads in shame. Orange walks through gorilla, making his way to the backstage area.
Orange Cassidy’s Internal Monologue
I should go see if she’s ok.
Orange lights a cigarette as he begins his search around the arena. He starts at the trainer’s room, poking his head in to see Reginald Nowinski and no one else.
Reginald Nowinski
Something I can help you with Orange?
Orange Cassidy
Was Priscilla in here?
Reginald shakes his head.
Reginald Nowinski
Afraid not.
Orange Cassidy
Got a clean towel and bag of ice I could have?
Reginald nods and tosses Orange a towel, then fills a bag with ice and hands it to Orange.
Orange Cassidy
Thanks.
Reginald Nowinski
Don’t mention it. Actually, do you have a minute? I have been wanting to talk to you about your smoking habits…
Orange walks out of the trainer’s room and continues to roam the halls of the TD Garden Arena. He eventually passes catering where he sees the staff breaking down the tables and trying to clean up the area. They stay away from one table in the center, where Priscilla Kelly is sitting with her head in her hands. The certainty of his actions shatter in his mind and now all he feels is regret.
Orange Cassidy’s Internal Monologue
Oh man. I hope I didn’t fuck this up.
Orange walks over to the table that the staff is too afraid to approach and taps Priscilla on the shoulder. Priscilla doesn’t look up, head still in hands.
Priscilla Kelly
Cranston, if that’s you, I’m feeding you to Helmuta. I told you to fuck off.
Orange sits in the chair next to her and places the towel and ice in front of her.
Orange Cassidy
It’s not Cranston…
Upon recognizing the voice, Priscilla goes ever so slightly more still, before she exhales a deep breath, and her shoulders sag. She doesn’t remove her face from her hands.
Priscilla Kelly
I don’t know what to say to you right now…
Orange Cassidy
That would make two of us…
He picks up the towel and ice from the table.
Orange Cassidy
Can I at least help you out?
Priscilla says nothing, so Orange begins to wipe the sweat off her back and then holds the bag of ice to her shoulder. Priscilla finally lets her hands fall from her face, but her beady blue eyes, lulled with bitterness, do not fall upon Orange, but stay locked upon the spec of ground before her feet. She talks slowly, exasperated.
Priscilla Kelly
Was that really the best way to prove your point?
Orange Cassidy
Did you take me seriously when I told you before?
Priscilla Kelly
I know why you did it Orange. You pinned me. You’re capable of it. I get it. I just-[/o]
Priscilla shakes her head. Finally, she looks up at Orange, meeting his gaze.
Priscilla Kelly
I shouldn’t have helped you get into this fucking match.
Orange goes to grab her hand, but waits to make sure it’s ok. He reaches out, but Priscilla pulls her hand away.
Orange Cassidy
I feel like I was more than capable of winning that qualifying match by myself…
Priscilla Kelly
That’s not the point, Orange. I’ve not really faced defeat yet. It never really crossed my mind that I could be taken out like that. I thought the Chamber would be fun… quality time we could spend cracking four other heads together… and I knew I’d be okay because, I don’t let anyone get the better of me. I’m smarter than everyone here, more motivated, I’ve fought through more, I pick out weaknesses but I don’t have any of my own…
Priscilla swallows. She looks away from Orange.
Priscilla Kelly
At least I didn’t. You’ve made me realize that… I’m not the same Priscilla I came into this federation as. I was right about that Priscilla, you couldn’t pin her. But now I’ve been turned into a Priscilla who can be.
She sighs.
Priscilla Kelly
By you.
She looks back up at Orange.
Priscilla Kelly
If I’m with you… I’m beatable.
Orange sits back in his chair and lets out a sigh.
Orange Cassidy’s Internal Monologue
Nice going dipshit…
Orange takes a moment to rack his brain and compose his thoughts. He takes off his sunglasses, slowly, and puts them on the table, slowly.
Orange Cassidy
I’m gonna make a few assumptions, so stop me if I am wrong about anything. I like you. You like me. I respect you as a person. You respect me as a person, which I appreciate greatly considering you don’t really respect anyone. I respect you as a competitor, but you didn’t respect me as one. You thought having me in the chamber was a nice way to spend a Saturday night instead of what it actually is, having me fighting you for your title. Priscilla, you are an amazing competitor. You have been running this federation since day one. But nobody is unbeatable, any person can beat any person on any given day and that’s just life. I was worried that this sort of thing would happen if I beat you in the chamber, so I figured that I’d do what I did tonight to see how you’d react. I am now only realizing how shitty of a way I went about it. I used our feelings for each other to pull one over on you and that sucks. I betrayed your trust, I’m sorry and I promise I will not pull anything like that in the chamber. But, I will give it my all because I realize this is one of the biggest opportunities I’ve ever had in my career. I also feel like I’m not the same person I was when I walked into this federation. I’m hungry, I’m angry and I’m giving it my all. I’m not going to throw away an opportunity.
Orange eyes are those of a man who looks like he used all the mental capacity to say what he just said.
Orange Cassidy
I can’t pretend to be in your head and know how you think of yourself, but I like Priscilla Kelly.
Priscilla hasn’t peered at Orange once, she sits silently, eyes looking lazily ahead of her, her head swimming with thoughts of what Orange is saying to her.
Priscilla Kelly
So do I.
Priscilla peers up slowly, she still doesn’t look at Orange, she looks ahead. Her newly dyed orange fringe falls in front of her eyes, and after a few seconds, she blows it away aggressively.
Priscilla Kelly
I like Priscilla Kelly… more than I like anyone else.
Priscilla stands up, she turns slowly.
Priscilla Kelly
And that’s who I’m looking out for.
Finally, her eyes settle on Orange once more. Her big blue eyes, filled with sadness. Not an anger, or hatred, or any other Priscilla Kelly staple… but an unusual, unexpected sadness. She’s in pain.
Priscilla Kelly
See you in the Chamber, Fire Ant.
And with that, Priscilla turns, and walks away. Orange watches her go, her bright orange hair swaying, before its bright glow disappears from the reflection of Cassidy’s aviators as she rounds the nearest corner. Orange sighs as his face drops into a slight frown. As he starts to walk to find the Best Friends so they can head home, the words of his mentor and personal hero echo through his head.
Bruce Hart
You don’t make friends on the way to the top. Friends don’t get you to the top.
Orange Cassidy’s Internal Monologue
She made me feel like I was at the top…
CROSS-DISSOLVE
THE VOICE-OVER RETURNS
I have to say, cab drivers in New York are brilliant.
Sitting in the back of this cab, I did admittedly fear for my life but he expertly weaved in and out of the traffic. Darted down alleyways I swore were way too narrow for the cab and went the wrong way on a street I'm pretty sure might have only been a one way, but he got me to the address Zay had sent me in one piece. At least mentally.
I pay the guy, giving a big tip that had him smiling ear to ear.
The building looked like that town house from Home Alone 2. Even had signs of renovations going on. As I walk up the front stairs, fearing I'd trip without a railing, the door flies open. Zaylee grins from ear to ear.
Zaylee
Ready for revenge, Laci-poo?
Laci Valentine
Don't call me that! And no. Why on earth did you think it was okay to kidnap my ex?
Zaylee shrugs.
Zaylee
It's not like I tortured him.
She steps back, allowing me inside and to my amazement, the inside is actually tastefully finished. She leads me into a back room where Douglas is tied and gagged.
Laci Valentine
Fuck me....
I hurried forward. Immediately taking the gag out, revealed to be a sock... a ring worn sock of my own that I had thought had been left at a show.
Laci Valentine
You stole my sock? Really Zaylee?
She shrugs again.
Zaylee
I figured it would come in handy. Have you smelt your feet?
Her nose screws up into one of disgust. I then set about untying my one and only ex-lover.
Zaylee
You're such a spoilsport. You could have gotten even for him leaving you in the dust while he went out and traded you in.
Douglas was still passed out and without the restraints he was at risk for falling over.
Laci Valentine
Help me get him on the couch. What did you knock him out with…
I look at her.
Laci Valentine
And don't you dare say my sock.
The cheeky smile slides off her face as she reluctantly helps me.
Zaylee
I put some roofies in his drink. No biggies.
We drop him none-too-gently onto the leather couch.
Laci Valentine
You gave him date rape drug! Fucking hell. You realize that you could go to prison for this?
The impact of her actions still hasn't hit her.
I kneel down beside his head. He was still just as handsome as I remembered, only now I could see a couple laugh lines around his eyes and one or two strands of natural silver in his dark hair. He was older than me, and technically, our relationship had been illegal. Not that it mattered now.
Laci Valentine
Douglas... wake the fuck up you preaning peacock.
And I slap his face. Maybe a little harder than I needed to. As much as Zay was right about me wanting revenge, this wasn't the way to do it.
His dark eyes flutter open and it takes only a second for him to realize it's me. He smiles momentarily before seeing Zaylee and his lips dip into a scowl of anger.
Douglas Park
You!
I push him back onto the couch as he starts to try to get up.
Laci Valentine
She's a little crazy, but she didn't actually hurt you and she could have. I'm sorry she did this…
Zaylee
Don't fucking do that. Don't aplogize to that fucking clown.
Zaylee says, closing the distance to stand next to me.
Zaylee
He dumped you for something he thought was better.
Douglas looks at her and then to me.
Douglas Park
Is that what this is about? Because I'm with Madeline?
He smirks now.
Douglas Park
I never thought you the jealous type Laci, it looks good on you though.
He moves a hand to try to brush some fallen strands of hair behind my ear but I catch his hand. It only makes him smile wider.
Douglas Park
You've gotten pretty quick too. I like to think that's because of me.
Both Zaylee and I roll our eyes as if on cue.
Zaylee
She's good because she's good, you pinhead.
Zaylee is more fired up then I've ever seen her.
Douglas Park
I know that. But without me, she never would have become a wrestler.
He sits up now but closes his eyes as the room spins.
Douglas Park
Even you can admit that Laci. You are always going to be my little ginger rose.
Laci Valentine
Stop. Stop it!
I stand. I wasn't ready for this right now. Not ready to confront the biggest demon I had, literally a man that called himself "the demon".
Douglas Park
You lost that chance, Laci. You decided to leave instead. But you have been making something of yourself in that little hole in the wall company. Not winning titles though.
There was more to life than titles, but telling The Demon that was like talking to an empty room. His life centered around titles and dominance. He had tried to dominate me and I had backed away. Then he backed out and right into the thirty-three inch thighs of a former playmate.
Laci Valentine
I don't regret it.
There. I said it out loud but I doubt I had convinced him of anything. Instead he chuckles.
Douglas Park
I don't believe you. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like my belongings back.
Zaylee looks to the large antique desk in the corner.
Zaylee
They're over there, get them yourself.
She then stalks out of the room, stomping and cursing under her breath like the baby tyrant she was.
Douglas manages to find his balance and over to get his wallet, keys and sunglasses from atop a mess of old newspapers and fast food wrappers.
Dogulas Park
I wish our reunion could have been in better circumstances. I won't press any charges on your friend Lace, but I suggest you get a leash on her... and a muzzle. We'll see each other again though. I promise.
He crosses the distance quickly, his hand descending to the side of my face, I'm not fast enough to stop him though before he's forcing his lips to mine. It's only a second before my senses clear.
Douglas Park
Ow.
He pulls away, blood dripping from a wound in his bottom lip. Yeah. That's right. Don't fuck with me.
He smiles.
Douglas Park
Still feisty and a little kinky. I'm sure your new boyfriend will love it.
He goes to the doorway.
Douglas Park
Adieu for now.
He winks before he leaves. Two seconds later I hear the front door close shut. I sink down into the soft worn leather of the cough. It's still warm from his body. Zaylee coughs from the doorway.
Zaylee
That went well…
The sarcasm drips from her words venomously. She shoves garbage off the desk before sitting on it, her legs dangling with the height difference.
Laci Valentine
I don't need you to do shit like that Zaylee. I need... to handle my shit on my own.
Her blue eyes turn to a deeper anger.
Zaylee
Well sorry for caring enough to try.
Laci Valentine
If you want to try, how about just offering to listen. To be there. You talk about how you want to be a better person. To prove to Kyle that you're not going to run again? Then maybe you need to learn how to be an actual friend for a change.
I stand. I am so enraged. I can't stand her face right now.
Laci Valentine
I'm out of here.
I stalk toward the door and she's behind me.
Zaylee
Fine. Don't ever ask me to do anything for you again.
I turn. That was it.
Laci Valentine
I never fucking asked you for anything. You just popped into my life uninvited and started fucking with it. I get it Zay. You don't know how to do this because you were never really encouraged to be it. I'm telling you right now. I have seen glimpses of the person you are under the surface. I think if you really let go some of that useless baggage, there might be room for you to let someone, anyone, beyond your walls.
Then I leave.
And immediately regret it.
I turn to go back and Zaylee is at the open door.
Zaylee
It's too late to go back to your suite. Stay and maybe we'll... talk... or something... yeah.
And on that note, we did. I ended up knowing so many things. Some were personal Zay facts. Like her guilty pleasure is knitting and she actually loves the colour pink. Others were just music and tv favourites. She had closed out every one, thinking they would only end up hurting her in the end, but by letting me in, even just a little, had changed our dynamic so drastically.
When I left the next morning, I realized something. The address was E 14th Street. Unlucky thirteen had led to a fresh start on fourteen. I think that was a pretty clear sign. I liked signs.
CROSS-DISSOLVE
The sound of cars speeding down the interstate and the music and shouting of a club can be heard as the camera opens to an apartment in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. From the kitchen area, the sounds of someone taking something out of an oven take over the mic, as well as the intro to Come and Get Your Love by Redbone is playing on a phone.
Chuck Taylor
Bow dow dow, bow dow dow, Bow duh duh bow der der der, HHHHEEEYYYYY!
The front door opens to the apartment.
Trent
HHHHEEEYYYYY!
Chuck pokes his head out of the kitchen and looks at the front door to see his Best Friend coming in with a plastic grocery bag.
Chuck Taylor
WHAT!?!? Oh good, It's you. You get the stuff brother?
Trent
Yeah man, but they didn't have everything you put on the list.
Chucks jaw drops to the floor with a look of disappointment.
Chuck Taylor
What do you mean they didn't have everything? I made the list pretty clear, didn't I?
Trent
Well yeah, the list was clear enough, but they didn't have…
Trent digs around in his pocket and pulls out a piece of loose-leaf paper, ripped in half with some writing on it. He brings it up to his eye level to read it.
Trent
Only orange M&Ms, so I just bought a big bag of regular ones…
Chuck Taylor
I guess we'll have to sort out all of the other colours.
Trent
They only had like, 3 oranges, not the fifteen pounds you asked for…
Chuck Taylor
Not ideal, but that will have to do.
Trent
And I know you put a star by this one, but 7-11 does not carry fully grown, adult Siberian Tigers. So instead I bought a little orange kitty plush toy.
Chuck Taylor
Yeah that one was a long shot. I guess that will all have to do. Want some chicken fingers? I had mom put some in the oven a while ago, they just came out.
Trent
Depends, do we have any of that Honey Dill sauce we got up in Canada?
Chuck Taylor
We still have some left. Lemme fix you up a plate.
Chuck dips back into the kitchen as Trent starts emptying the bag. Some of the things he takes out are the Oranges, Plush Cat, and M&M's he told Chuck about, as well as a few bottles of Tropicana Orange Juice, a couple bags of Teriyaki Flavoured Beef Jerky, and about 8 Mars Bars. He lays it all out on the table, trying to make a decent presentation of it all.
Trent
Hey, so do you think this will all work? I don't really like talking guys out of girls, but Priscilla Kelly? I feel like Orange can go out with so many other girls? But instead he choose's her? I mean, she's so creepy. You saw what that party of her's was like? and did you see what she did to Ironside?
Trent visibly shivers from being uncomfortable. Chuck shouts back, while still in the kitchen.
Chuck Taylor
I wish I didn't see it. I just want to make sure he know's what he's doing. Make sure she hasn't drugged him up or anything. Date rape is no joke.
Chuck come from around the corner with two plates, both carrying about 4 chicken fingers, a handful of fries, and a couple of dipping sauces. Both men sit down on the couch, and start eating the food on their plates. Not bothering with forks and knives, just using their hands. The sit in silence for a few minutes, just the sound of chewing heard over the mic. Eventually, Trent speaks up.
Trent
Hey, these Chicken Fingers are pretty good. Which ones are these?
Chuck Taylor
These ones are the good ones. The eight dollar ones form Walmart. Mom went yesterday to get us some groceries, stocked us up really nice on everything.
Trent
Sweet, you'll have to tell her thanks.
Chuck Taylor
Ok.
Trent turns his head to the side and shouts.
Chuck Taylor
MOOOOM, TRENT SAYS THANKS FOR THE GROCERIES!!!
Before Trent can ask anything, an answer comes from the back.
Chuck’s Mom
You're Welcome!
Chuck Taylor
She says you're welcome.
Trent
I thought she was flying out today?
Chuck Taylor
Her flight got delayed until tomorrow morning. Plus, I figured she could help us out with Orange. She always seems to know what to say it situations like these.
Trent nods in agreement, looking sad.
Trent
Yeah, moms are pretty great. I wish mine was still around…
Chuck gives Trent a confused look.
Chuck Taylor
What do you mean, Sue's still alive. We saw her like a few months ago, you talked to her on the phone a couple days ago.
Trent
Yeah, but she's all the way up in New York. That's a ways away. Lets put something on TV, wanna watch Pulp Fiction again?
Chuck nods, and Trent starts to bring up Netflix on the TV. Just before he hits play, the lock on the door jiggles, the door opens, and Orange Cassidy walks through the doorway. Both men are frozen in place, not yet ready to face the conversation they were preparing to have. Chuck titles his head to the side slightly.
Chuck Taylor
MOOOM! ORANGE IS HERE!
The two continue their silence, finally Chuck stands up
Chuck Taylor
Surpri-
Trent stands up to grab Chuck mid word
Trent
Dude you don't say that at one of these.
Trent wipes the chicken grease on his jeans an walks over to Orange. He puts his arm on OC's shoulder and walks him over to the center of the room
Trent
Why don't you take a seat bud
OC takes a seat as Trent still has his hand on his shoulder looking down at him
Trent
There's no easy way to say this..Should I sit? (looking over at Chuck nervously), I'll sit.
Chuck starts frantically searching his pockets
Chuck Taylor
Where the hell are they? What did you do with the cards?
Trent
I thought you had them?
They both start checking their pockets and under their butts. OC surveying the scene in front of him, reaches out and grabs a bottle of orange juice. He takes a sip and leans back in his chair watching the two continue their search. Trent and Chuck both stand up, and start taking the couch cushions apart.
Chuck Taylor
Oh here they are!
Chuck pulls cards out of his back pocket. They put the couch back together and sit down.
Chuck Taylor
(Reading a card)
Put your hand on theirs
Everybody sits in silence. Chuck continues staring at his card, Trent begins peeling an orange both men refusing to look at OC.
Chuck Taylor
Oh
(Chuck puts his hand on top of OC's, but doesn't break his eyes from the card)
It's important to remember you are around friends here.
Trent
(Throwing the barely peeled orange down)
Look, what we're trying to say is
Before he could continue Horatio Sanz waddles into the room with his hands full of tote bags.
Trent
It's Horatio, oh thank god.
Horatio
Hey guys, hope I'm not too late. They couldn't make the banner you wanted on short notice so this is the best they could come up with last second.
Horatio unfurls a bright pink banner. On it, it reads
FELIZ
OC stops mid drink seemingly realizing what's happening.
Trent
We didn't really know the best way to do this…
Chuck Taylor
YOU NEED TO STOP SEEING PRISCILLA!
Trent calms down Chuck. Horatio scuddles past him and tries to find a place to hang the banner.
Trent
What he's trying to say is, we think you're in a bit over your head
Horatio continues to put the banner up trying to tie it down on some speakers.
Trent
We're worried you're getting involved in something that you know nothing about. We don't want you to get hurt
Chuck Taylor
She's EVIL!
Horatio is unfurling the banner, he begins to run out of space, so he tries to stand on a shelf for a better reach. His foot slips and falls to the floor bringing the banner down with him.
Trent
Not now Horatio!
Chuck Taylor
Read the room bud!
Horatio gets to his feet, he scuddles away with the banner hanging his head down in shame.
Trent
Bottom line is, you need to stop seeing Priscilla. We're not going to be around all the time to help you if
Chuck Taylor
(Interjecting)
When
Trent
When, it goes south
Trent and Chuck both lean back in their seats.
Chuck Taylor
Well that was some fine intervening boys
(Throwing the cards behind his back)
Didn't even need these. Thanks for nothing Doctor Phillip.
(Yelling to the other room)
MOM! Bring out that cake we talked about. The one with congratulations on it, you know the carrot cake that says congratulations for dumping Priscilla on it. With the orange letters
Chuck returns facing forward happy with his commands. They both stare across at Orange Cassidy in a happy silence.
Orange sits forward in his chair, removing his sun glasses and placing them on the coffetable. He rubs his eyes in a manner of disbelief before beginning to speak.
Orange Cassidy
Wow um...wow...there's a lot to unpack here.
The faces of Chuck and Trent drop as they realize this is not had gone as smooth as they thought.
Orange Cassidy
Well I guess the first things is I'm glad you guys have actually taken interest in something going on in my life...um I get your concerns, but I think I'll be alright.
Chuck Taylor
Have you not seen the shit she's done to people in this company?
Orange Cassidy
I don't watch the show.
Trent and Chuck are not only taken aback, but confused.
Orange Cassidy
Sure she is a bit self centered and narcissistic, sure she can be mean and rude to people, but she is not like that to me. When we are together it just feels so...comfortable. It just seems right, I can be open around her.
Orange sits back in the chair and takes a sip of oj before talking.
Orange Cassidy
Not that I can't be open with you guys, we just have a completely different dynamic. Which is fine, I love hanging with you guys, but there's something about being with her that feels different, feels right. To your point about not being there to help me, I know you guys have my back and I have yours, but you guys have had a terrible track record with coming to make a rescue since we've been here. Where were you when Dyno-Mike burned my forehead with a cigar? Where were you guys when Baron Boneius' goons attacked me and gave me an injury that almost killed me after the match? Where were you guys when DDP and Jake Roberts attacked me because of a situation that you two created and I had no part in? I've had violent bloody battles this entire run and I've been just fine. I can fight my own battles.
Orange stands, takes his glasses off the table and puts them on. He then looks at his best friends who are slumped in their seats, looking like scolded children.
Orange Cassidy
Look...I...I'm sorry. I appreciate the sentiment, but you don't need to feel like you always need to protect me. I can handle myself and if I need help I will ask. And besides, after what happened on Tuesday I don't even know if Priscilla and I will be seeing each other anymore, so we can revisit this after Saturday if you guys really want to. I appreciate you guys looking out for me, we cool?
He holds his hand out for a limp fist bump, the Best Friends reciprocate, although hesitantly. Orange walks down the hallway to his room as he passes Chuck's Mom, who is holding the carrot cake. He smiles at her before wiping his finger across the cream cheese frosting and plopping it into his mouth before entering his room.
Once he is his room he sighs and sits on his bed. Orange stares at his closet inquisitively. He heads towards the closet, opening the door to see a box on the floor under some clothes. He opens the box and holds the contents up to face level, his Fire Ant mask. He runs his fingers along the stitches before throwing it into the closet and slamming the door.
Orange Cassidy’s Internal Monologue
No. I'm better than him.
The two men left on the couch just sit in silence for a bit. Eventually Chucks Mom walks in with the Carrot Cake. She sets it down on the table and finally breaks the silence of the room.
Chuck’s Mom
Should I go get you boys some plates? I heard from the other room, didn't seem like it all went to plan.
The two men still just sit in silence.
Chuck’s Mom
I'll just go grab you some plates and forks.
She walks to the kitchen, and comes out holding 3 plates, 3 forks, and a big knife. She starts cutting the cake and putting 1 piece on each plate. She hands each of them a plate. Neither man takes it from her, so she just sets it on their lap.
Chuck’s Mom
No situation isn't made better with some cake. I'm gonna go see if Horatio wants a slice.
She kisses Chuck on top of the head before walking to go find Horatio. Trent is the first one to finally speak up.
Trent
I didn't know he felt that way. I guess he doesn't tell us how he's feeling much, but I didn't know he was bottling that all up.
Chuck Taylor
He doesn't tell us much at all. I didn't even know he could talk that much.
Finally, Trent starts to dig into the Carrot Cake.
Trent
Does that make us bad Best Friends? I mean, now that I think about it, we don't really give him much of a chance to talk. Every time we try to bring something up, one of us ends up interrupting him, or leaving before he has a say in anything we do.
Chuck Taylor
Yeah, I guess so. And we should have helped him out all those times he mentioned. I never knew those things ever happened to him.
Trent
Neither did I, I don't watch the shows.
Chuck shrugs his shoulder as he takes the first bite out of his cake.
Chuck Taylor
Same. He seems like he was happy with her though, maybe we should just take a set back, let him do his thing. We can't expect to be able to control his whole life for him. We're not his dads or anything.
Trent
I guess that wouldn't be a bad idea. Give him some space. Sucks that he said they might not be together after this Sunday though. I guess that has to do with that match he's in. What title is that for again, was it the WWF Lightweight Title?
Chuck Taylor
No, I think it's for the WCCW Texas Heavyweight Championship.
Trent
Really? Then why are they having a match for it all the way up in New York?
Chuck shrugs his shoulders, and swallows another bite of cake.
Chuck Taylor
I dunno, you'll have to ask Bruce Hart. What we're we talking about again?
Chuck leans forward and grabs one of the Mars Bars that was on the table.
Trent
Dammit Chuck, this is what he means! Every time we try to keep the conversation about him, one of us gets distracted and it ends there. I think the problem might not be him hanging out with her, but maybe it has to do with us being shitty Best Friends. Maybe we need the intervention.
Chuck has a string of caramel dangling from the side of his mouth as he looks incredibly hurt from Trent's words.
Chuck Taylor
Us? Bad Best Friends? No way! I know everything about Orange. I've known him for over 10 years! Maybe even over 11 years! I've been on countless road trips with him! I dare you to find anyone else that knows more about the man named Orange Cassidy than me!
Trent
Since you know so much...whats his favourite food besides oranges?
Chuck goes to answer, but hesitates.
Chuck Taylor
Um, well it's...uhhh, that's not fair! He only eats, oranges, I think. Next Question!
Trent
All right, whats his favourite movie?
Chuck Taylor
That's easy, Pulp Fiction! We watch it all the time!
Trent
WE watch it, not him. When was the last time you saw him watch it?
Chuck is beginning to look more and more defeated. He doesn't even answer Trent's question.
Trent
Who's his favourite Actor? Actress? His favourite band? What was his first car? What college did he go to? We don't know any of these things, and we call ourselves friends?
Not having a solid answer for any question, Chuck brings up his legs on the couch to sit with his knees in front of him, wrapping his arms around them, and rocking himself back and forth.
Chuck Taylor
I'm a bad Best Friend, I'm a bad Best Friend, I'm a bad Best Friend.
Trent
Chuck, CHUCK! Snap out of it! Oh man, I gotta stop him.
Trent looks around to get ideas on how to stop Chuck, who is still rocking on the couch.
Trent jumps up standing over Chuck
Trent
Damn it Chuck! Snap out of it!
Trent tries shaking Chuck but it doesn't break the spell. Horatio comes back into the room witnessing the chaos.
Trent
Don't just stand there, help!
After being barked at Horatio jumps over the back of the couch and onto Chuck trying to force his arms away from his legs, while Chuck continues his chant. Trent fumbles around the couch and the floor, he finally grabs the remote, points it to the tv and and starts scrolling through Netflix. He scrolls past comedy, past, drama, sitcoms, teen dramas, the weird softcore porn Netflix started doing recently for some reason, he lands on action, and begins flipping through but to no avail. Out of options he enters the search queue. Frantically panicking, his fingers begin to tremble as he maneuvers the dulled out arrow keys. His fingers mash the buttons as it slowly moves through the letters on screen, he gets all the way down to Q, he moves over to U smashing the arrow keys. Trent looks over his shoulder as a drop of sweat begins to run down his brow to see Horatio wrestling with Chuck on the couch who's still in a trance.
Trent
Why is this remote so sticky
Trent returns back to the remote, he keeps moving the arrows around spelling out the rest of the name. He finishes the name and turns on From Dusk Til Dawn. He drops the remote exhausted and slinks back onto the couch next to Chuck who's broken his trance. Trent taps Horatio on the side who's still tangled with Chuck, as he slowly removes his large body from the couch.
Trent
There, I put on your other favorite movie. I know you love this one too.
Chuck Taylor
(Giving a chefs kiss with his fingers)
His Mise-en de feet. Thanks Trent, you're a good friend.
Trent
Yeah...but just to each other.
Chuck begins to curl up again, before he can connect his arms Horatio has spread them back apart. Chuck gives him a glare.
Trent
We need to do a better job at being OC's friend. We need to start being there for him, and more considerate of what he's going through. He's the third half of the best friends, but lately we've only been treating him like...like...well Horatio to be honest. If we don't we might lose him forever.
Chuck Taylor
But he's the third half of the best friends! Who else could be that?
Horatio's eyes light up, but Chuck shakes his head no. Horatio shuffles off back to the kitchen.
Chuck Taylor
So what are we going to do?
Trent just shrugs softly as the two sit in silence as the movie flickers on in front of them.
CROSS DISSOLVE
RETURN OF THE VOICE-OVER
They say that when you turn fifteen it's the start and end of something. It's the end of childhood. You're starting highschool. The next journey toward adulthood.
When I was fifteen I was dating an eighteen year old wrestler named Douglas Park, lost my virginity and my sanity for a while. How I managed to keep my grades up is a pure miracle.
That was also the year I started fighting back.
That was when my step-father legally adopted me. Made me change my name and figured he owned me and had the right to throw punches. I got good at covering up bruises and cuts. One night, he wouldn't stop hitting my mom, even after she was already unconscious. I stood up to him. I regretted that as he pumbelled me, I reached for whatever I could. I smashed a lamp over his head, kicked him in the balls. (Later found out I herniated him) and left. After that, everytime he even hinted at touching me, I stood up.
I started training. I started fighting my bullies outside of school. I learned how to be tough to the outside world. Then, when I was seventeen, Douglas dumped me for a former playmate model with a rack that looked like balloons and legs for days.
It shattered me on a personal level, but I pushed it down. Kept training. Kept getting good grades and scholarships. I was determined to not let the deep seeded anxiety take over but it crept in ever so slowly until I started to make decisions based on fear. Fear of what might happen. I would worry about things I had no control of. Later, a therapist would tell me it was a validation issue. A lack of validation from my parents. Lack of one parent in particular actually.
Even now, I still assume things people are thinking or feeling based on this little thing in my head that tries to convince me my thoughts are legitimate. Pretty fucking annoying if you ask me.
***
I don't think I'd ever hit the bag this hard. I was pissed off, I was proud, goddamn it I was determined. I know people in AWF don't take me seriously. I didn't even think Spud, my own sorta-kinda boyfriend thought I could beat him and take the Provincial Title.
Evie Bliss
You know, once I knocked that thing right out of the ceiling.
I stop, recognizing the voice and I turn. I was at the former Olympia Gym in NYC. It was no longer named Olympia though. A former beau of Bliss had bought it out. Changed the name to Adonis. But as a former student of the Fischer family, I had been welcome to come in before operating hours to work out, since I was in New York.
Bliss looks amazing. Her flat stomach was now sporting a small bump.
Laci Valentine
You did the IVF?!
Last I had talked to her she was undecided on whether to use her ex husband's inherited sperm to get pregnant again.
She smiles, rubs a hand over her belly.
Evie Bliss
Yeah. I mean I have such bad luck with picking partners. I did it by myself with Clark, why not Diana too.
I raise an eyebrow.
Laci Valentine
You can't know it's a girl yet, you're what? Barely three months?
Evie Bliss
Intuition.
She smiles.
Evie Bliss
So big match for you I hear?
I sign. Was it though? I mean, it felt more like a consolation prize. 'Sorry Priscilla went and fucked up your chances, go fight the guy you're seeing instead'.
Laci Valentine
I got screwed out of my big match. All because Priscilla has a sick sense of what constitutes 'quality time'.
Bliss looks at me confused.
Laci Valentine
It's a long story. Regardless, I don't know how I should feel facing James. We have kinda been seeing each other.
Even though I had told him that what was in the ring was separate, after seeing how everything went down with Orange and prissbitch, I would hate for him to resent me for winning.
Evie Bliss
You know how many times I had to face a friend, a partner, a guy or girl I was seeing? God. I could fill a notebook. It's going to happen Lace. It's the nature of this business. You have to keep it separate otherwise, you'll always feel guilty.
She sits, patting the bench beside her for me to join her. Last year, Bliss had gone on a pilgrimage to find closure with all her exes. Then just when she thought things were going good, her and her girlfriend Ashley, broke up. Bliss had never told me why. She had forfeited her title. Sold her condo and her business. She was splitting her time between New York and Toronto.
Laci Valentine
You know I have only ever slept with Douglas.
Bliss smirks.
Laci Valentine
I think I... you know, might be okay with taking that next step with Spud but I'm nervous. It's been seven years since I have done anything. We've kissed twice. Once while drunk and the other was when my mouth was full of blood after a match. I don't want it to be awkward and weird.
Bliss starts laughing.
Evie Bliss
Don't overthink it. It will happen and I guarantee if you let things go at a natural pace, it will be far from awkward or weird.
I watch her for a moment. I can see sadness in her eyes. I know she's lonely.
Evie Bliss
Just, don't let 'what if's' guide your life. Live in the moment. I bet, he wants exactly the same thing you do. Especially if he's kissing you with a mouthful of blood.
***
I feel like I did at Fifteen. That excitement I felt when I first started dating Douglas. But I couldn't compare the men. Spud was nothing like Douglas. He was far from cruel. He wouldn't use me. And I knew, somehow, he was nervous about facing me in this match too.
By all rights, the match I really wanted was against Priscilla. I had shown last week that I was able to take her. I didn't even care if it was for the title. It was a pride thing.
CROSS-DISSOLVE BACK TO THE COMMENTARY BOOTH
Jim Ross: Last PrimeTime featured a battle royale for the ages to decide an AWF Provincial Championship contender for our next contender -- that led to our next bout, in fact. In that match, we saw the impressive return of professional wrestling legend Robbie McKay. Here, a closer look at the Showstopper!
FADE OUT
FADE INTO THE FIRST PART OF A SEGMENTED SHORT FILM
INT. BLACK SCREEN
We are introduced at this point to ROBBIE in the present
Narrator (Old Robbie) (V.O.)
It all started with a wrestling show...
INT. MAXWELL HEIGHTS ELEMENTARY SCHOOL - SEASIDE,CA - 1975
The lights are dimmed in the school gymnasium. The sounds of the excitement in the crowd cannot be entirely contained and whispers and squeals of anticipation break up the silence.
PAN TO:
INT. SPOTLIGHT ON MAN IN A WRESTLING RING
The ANNOUNCER dressed in a dark suit holds up a microphone.
Announcer
Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and girls of all ages, Welcome to…
QUICK CUT:
INT. THE AUDIENCE
We are introduced to YOUNG ROBBIE, about ten years old. He leans forward, enthralled in every word the announcer says.
Narrator (V.O.)
The year was 1975 and I was ten years old and a travelling wrestling show had come to our town. Before that day, I had never seen a wrestling show.
QUICK CUT:
INT. THE RING
Two wrestlers duking it out, back and forth hits.
QUICK CUT:
INT. The AUDIENCE
YOUNG ROBBIE still heavily entranced by the action in front of him.
Narrator (V.O.)
It was at this moment that I became a fan. My whole life became School, sleeping, eating, Baseball and watching wrestling. Every-time a show came to town or one was on Television, My Dad and I were watching.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. THE MCKAY HOUSEHOLD
On a couch we see ROBERT MCKAY SR. And his son, YOUNG ROBBIE. Both of them are cheering and watching intently at the screen of a dated RCA Model CTC-11C Color Television that was outdated even for 1975.
Narrator (V.O.)
This is one of the greatest memories of my life. It was during this year I decided to become a wrestler. By the end of 1975, I had given up on the idea of becoming a police officer like my old man. I just didn't tell my folks until way later.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. THE MCKAY HOUSEHOLD - 1983
We see a TEEN ROBBIE JR. Sitting at the kitchen table, in front of him is two pieces of paper. In front of him is his father, ROBBIE SR. Looking a little more grizzled and aged. The look on his face is one of anger. His Mother, SAMANTHA MCKAY, holds a handkerchief, dabbing her eyes. ROBBIE SR. Picks up one of the letters, looks at it before looking back at his son
Robbie Sr.
Why are you throwing away a college education? I thought you wanted to be a cop, like me?
ROBBIE JR. Shrugs his shoulders
Robbie Jr.
People change pops. I decided a long time ago that I didn't want to be a nameless hero. I want people to shout my name. Wrestling is becoming a thing. People are excited for it, it's mainstream now.
ROBBIE SR. Points behind him to the whimpering woman.
Robbie Sr.
What about your mother? Have you thought about what this might be doing to her? What if you got injured, or worse, crippled. There are huge risks, this wrestling you praise so highly, it's not like the shows we used to go to or watch. They have all these risky moves now. On top of that, this is no better than... than going to Hollywood and becoming an actor. What if you aren't any good?
ROBBIE JR. holds up the other piece of paper. It is a letter from HALE WRESTLING SCHOOL AND GYM.
Robbie Jr.
The risks are no different with being a Cop, Pop. I could get shot, I could be attacked and killed. And let's face it, the pay is shit.
Robbie Sr.
Language!
ROBBIE JR. Rolls his eyes but continues, Still holding up the other letter
Robbie Jr.
Dom Hale said I was good. That I could really make it.
ROBBIE SR. Snatches the letter from his son's fingers. His eyes dart back and forth as he reads the words.
Robbie Sr.
When did he see you wrestle? You don't have a wrestling team at your school?
ROBBIE JR. Looks away from his father's eyes.
Robbie Kr.
Missy took me.
ROBBIE SR. slams his fists down on the table. SAMANTHA jumps behind him with a yip of surprise.
Robbie Sr.
Your sister is going to answer for this. I knew I Shouldn't have let her get her license. So you're telling me, that day she drove you and your friends to the movies, she was really taking you to this... Hale Wrestling school? For a try out?
ROBBIE JR. Bites his lip, giving his answer without actually answering him. ROBBIE SR. Stands.
Robbie Sr.
No. Absolutely not. I forbid it. You don't want to be a Cop, fine. I won't force this life on you, but you will choose something else. Business perhaps? Or maybe Mechanics?
ROBBIE JR.'s face goes beat red. He slams his own fists down on the table as he too rises.
Robbie Jr.
I'm eighteen now. I'm a man. I can make my own decisions. I am not going to go to college to take some bullshit course just to make you happy! What about my happiness? What about what I want?
ROBBIE SR. Leans in across the table so that he is eye level with his son.
Robbie Sr.
You listen to me. As long as you live under my roof, it will be my rules.
ROBBIE JR. Leans back.
Robbie Jr.
Maybe I won't live under your roof.
A gasp now from SAMANTHA who has remained mostly silent.
Samantha
No. Rob, be reasonable. He can't move out. Maybe let him take a year off, to really think about what he really wants to do and then decide. He can get a part-time job. Pay a little rent.
ROBBIE SR. Doesn’t look behind him when he speaks.
Robbie Sr.
MY house, MY rules! He either gives up this ridiculous notion or he can leave.
ROBBIE JR. smirks.
Robbie Jr.
Fine with me.
ROBBIE SR. Gives him back a smile that can only be described as evil.
Robbie Sr.
With only anything you bought with your own money. Everything else is mine and belongs to me.
Samantha
ROBERT!
ROBBIE SR. Turns now to face his wife.
Robbie Sr.
Shut up Sam. Robbie wants to be an adult, wants to make his own rules and life his own life? Then he can do exactly what I did. I left my parents house with nothing but one suitcase and I had to earn my own way. When he realizes that that life has nothing to it he can come back and apologize for what he’s done. Until then, I have no son.
ROBBIE SR. Straightened and with no further words, storms out of the kitchen, leaving ROBBIE JR and SAMANTHA.
Samantha
Reconsider this Robbie. Please.
ROBBIE JR. Shakes his head.
Robbie Jr.
Sorry mom.
ROBBIE JR walks across the kitchen to place a kiss on his mother’s cheek before following in the same direction as his father, only seconds later, the sound of the door is heard SLAMMING. NARRATOR speaks while ROBBIE JR. continues to walk, SAMANTHA WATCHING out the kitchen window
Narrator (V.O.)
I did make it. On my own. With just the clothes on my back and a twenty in my pocket. I stayed with my sister Missy for a while, until I started making more money. I got odd jobs working as a waiter. Finally, after two years I was able to get my own place.
END SCENE
STARRING:
Robbie McKay Junior (Age 10)...............................Jacob Tremblay
Robbie McKay Junior (Age 18)...............................Garrett Clayton
Robbie McKay Senior .............................................Liam Cunningham
Samantha McKay....................................................Marcia Cross
Narrator...................................................................Robbie McKay
PRESENT DAY
Robbie McKay saw her. He hadn’t been following her. He had given Bret his word that he wouldn’t try to contact her or tell her who he was until after the probationary contract was up. She looked just like his mother. Same hair colour, same build. She also looked like her sister, his daughter Alanna and a bit like his son, Jake. But Jake looked like his father. He purposely stayed in his car as he watched her enter the arena, not looking any worse for wear from what she’d gone through.
He wished he had known about her sooner. He would have tried to help her and her mother. He would have stopped everything she’d gone through. It was just another thing he had to carry on his conscience. Another sin he’d committed for being a selfish bastard. Eventually, he shuts off the car, hoping that he’d given her more than enough time to get a decent head start. One day, he was going to attempt to make it right, even though he knew that he probably couldn’t, and that would be his punishment for the rest of his days.
FADE OUT
FADE IN, TO A LEGITIMATE SPONSOR SPOT
Conor McGregor
Fookin' thats how its done! You see the way I planted that fookin' cunts head on the concrete? I fookin' showed 'im did'n I?
Conor is a happy chap, he has now returned home after his successful(*) debut in the AWF
*(Kinda, but not really)
Kasey Haste
Damn right you did Conor. Now you have the upper hand going into the PPV. Into one of the biggest paydays of your life! Man, I'm a really goof fuckin' agent.
Conor McGregor
Damn right you are kid. You got me this fookin' gig in the AWF, you got us in Austins good books... so now. We are fookin' untouchable!
Conor throws his bags on the floor, even with how expensive they are, they aren't worth shit to Conor. He is MADE of money.
Dee Devlin
Is that you, love?
Conor McGregor
Aye, it is. Me and ol' Kasey here got some BIG news for us, dontcha kid?
Kasey Haste
Yes I do Mr McGregor. We got a BIG money match at the PPV! You two are gonna be fuckin' LOADED!
Dee jumps up and down all excited, before coming over and hugging Conor, giving him a kiss on the cheek, she lets go of Conor and gives Kasey a hug as well.
Dee Devlin
Thank you so much Kasey... you are always welcome in our home! You just make sure he comes out of this match on top... you understand me?
Kasey Haste
Yes Ma'am... I will make sure he does.
Conor McGregor
Good on ya kid. Now, Dee, Me and Kasey 'ere are expectin' some company later. Can you go and get us some Proper 12 and bring it to the den?
Dee Devlin
Of course I can, love. I'll be right down with it.
Conor McGregor
Cheers, love. Now come on kid. Let's go talk some business.
With that, Kasey and Conor walk to the den, while Dee does her best for Conor, going to get this whiskey for him before his company arrives.
AN HOUR AND A HALF LATER
Conor McGregor
...and then I told Dana, "If you want me to purposefully lose to Mayweather, I better be gettin' paid more than that fookin, twat! I'm the only reason he is as relevant as he is now!"
Kasey Haste
Damn Straight! So Dana paid you to take a dive in that fight?
Conor McGregor
Short answer is I canne say, cause the Mayweathers made me sign a NDA. Long answer... FOOK THE MAYWEATHERS! I got payed to take a fookin' dive and Floyd is too scared to admit it.
Conor and Kasey burst out laughing... Fuck The Mayweathers. Then all of a sudden Dee pops her head around the corner and into the den.
Dee Devlin
Love, I have your Proper 12 ready... and you have some company.
Conor McGregor
Well don't just stand there, bring our guests and our booze into here!
Dee does as she is told, bringing the Whiskey into the room, shortly after she is followed in by two men.
Stone Cold
Goddamn! What's a guy gotta do around here to get himself a fucking beverage!
Conor McGregor
If it ain't the man himself! What 're you doin' 'ere Steve?
Stone Cold
Can a guy not show up at one of his buddies houses and drink some alcohol with him?
Conor McGregor
I ain't ever said that! Come in, you too Pillman. Let's fookin' celebrate our victory as a group last night! We're gonna need some more booze in 'ere... DEE!
Dee peeks her head around the corner again.
Dee Devlin
Yes love?
Conor McGregor
We're gonna need a couple more bottles of Proper 12 in 'ere. We have more company than expected!
Dee Devlin
Of course, love. I'll go get a couple more now.
Stone Cold
So. This is your branded whiskey right here?
Kasey Haste
It is indeed Mr Austin. Conor wanted to make a whiskey that is... well... a proper Irish Whiskey.
Stone Cold
...
Steve looks at Kasey, then back at Conor, then back at Kasey.
Stone Cold
And just who the fuck do you think you are?
Kasey Haste
I-I-I-I
Steve lifts his hand up to Kasey, telling him to shut the fuck up.
Stone Cold
Now, I'm gonna go and ask you again... and I don't want to hear another stutter come from your mouth... you understand me?
Kasey nods
Stone Cold
Who the fuck are you?
Kasey Haste
Kasey, Kasey Haste.
Stone Cold
Well, Mr Kasey Fucking Haste. What the fuck are you doing down here? Do you work for Conor?: Are you one of his fucking servants or something?
Kasey Haste
No... No sir. I am Conor’s Agent.
Stone Cold
Well first of all kid. I'm enjoying all this "Sir" shit you're talkin' about. Finally I'm gettin' some proper fuckin' recognition 'round here. So keep that up when you speak to me.
Kasey nods
Stone Cold
Now, Conor.
Steve turns his head back to Conor.
Stone Cold
You make this shit here? Or is it distilled some other place?
Conor McGregor
Well, it used to be distilled 'ere. But then the government caught wind o' it and shut it down. So we got a proper place for it now, it still has the same great fookin' taste it always did though.
As Conor talks, he grabs four whiskey glasses out from the buffet hutch, places them on the table, then pous about a shots worth of Proper 12 into them, before handing a glass to each of the four of them.
Conor McGregor
Cheers Fellas. To Victory!
Everyone gives each other a cheers before downing their shots worth of the whiskey. Steve is the first one to speak afterwards.
Stone Cold
Goddamn Son, that right there is some proper fucking whiskey!
Conor laughs, he's glad that people outside of him and the Irish actually enjoy it, Brian Pillman Jr gives a nod and asks for more, Conor happily obliges
Kasey Haste
Who else were we expecting tonight, Conor?
Conor McGregor
Just an old mate o' mine from the joint, and one of his mates he's come across recently, says he used to be big back in the deathmatch scene before going to prison
Stone Cold
Shit, son. That could be anyone, that deathmatch bullshit is big for anyone thats a part of it. Makes them feel included.
Conor McGregor
That's true, but apparently this cunt is still goin' today. So who the fook knows aye…
As soon as Conor says that…
This is the part of my writing piece where i recommend you listen to something while you read, so here you go
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!
Stone Cold
Is that New Jack? What's going on you crazy sonuvabitch!
Stone Cold and Conor get out of their seats to greet New Jack, who embraces them with open arms.
Conor McGregor
Long time no see ya crazy muthafucka! How've ya been?
New Jack
WELL I BEEN HERE AND I BEEN THERE, I'M HERE NOW SO THERE'S THAT. WHAT ARE YOU MUTHAFUCKAS DOIN?!
Conor McGregor
We've just been chillin' bruv, Drinkin' some of the finest Irish Whiskey that my country 'as to offer, you want some?
New Jack
NAH IM GOOD G, I ALREADY GOT MY DRINK OF CHOICE THANKS FOR THE OFFER THO.
Conor McGregor
So... what did you want to meet here for?
New Jack
I CAME TO GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE ON HOW TO WIN YOUR NEXT MATCH.
New Jack reaches into one of his many pockets, pulling out a baggie of cocaine.
New Jack
WAIT, WRONG POCKET.
He puts it away and reaches into another one of his pockets, and pulls out an exacto knife.
New Jack
HERE, TAKE THIS SHIT.
Conor McGregor
Whoa Whoa Whoa, why the fook are you giving me a fookin' knife?
New Jack
BECAUSE BITCH! YOUS GONNA NEEDS IT IN THE RING WITH BLACK CLYDE, THAT MUTHAFUCKA PLAYS DIRTY IN SITUATIONS LIKE THESE
Conor McGregor
So you want me to STAB the cunt?
New Jack
YEAH BITCH! YOU GOTTA STAB HIM REAL GOOD, TRUST ME I KNOW
Conor McGregor
How fookin' high are you right now?
New Jack
YES
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: I got something else planned for that sorry bastard, but I got nothing but respect for the idea, Jack.
Conor McGregor
Oh you do? Fookin' 'ell mate, better indulge us all in this plan o' yours.
New Jack
HOLD UP MUTHAFUCKAS! HOLD UP!
Everyone in the room stops talking and looks over at New Jack
New Jack
DOES ANYONE HAVE THE LIL SPINNY PART FOR THE TWISTER BOARD?
Conor McGregor
The fookin' what?
New Jack
THE SPINNY TWISTER PART
Conor McGregor
I gotta say I'm slightly intrigued by this, why the fook do you need it?
New jack reaches around in his pockets, before pulling this out of one of his pockets…
New Jack
I NEED IT FOR THIS. NEW JACK TWISTER, PATENT PENDING
Everyone looks at each other, then back at New Jack, then back at each other. Then they burst out laughing and the scene slowly fades out.
FADE IN
Big Homunculus has his feet hooked over a pullup bar and is doing inverted situps. When he's at the bottom of the situp Black Clyde smashes a medicine ball against his abs with a thunderous BOOM, but Homunculus has a far away look in his eye and isn't in a headspace where pain seems to register.
The BEEP BEEP BEEP of a garbage truck backing up is heard and Ruxx Rampede enters shortly after.
Ruxx Rampede
What's up Clyde.
Black Clyde
All good, brother.
Ruxx Rampede
What's cracking, H?
Homunculus silently continues his inverted situps.
Black Clyde
Don't take it personally, I don't think he can hear anything right now. Motherfucker's focussed as fuck.
Ruxx Rampede
I'm a little worried about that chamber match.
Black Clyde
Don't be, I've turned H's core into a wall of iron. If that cigar-chomping, bigorexia-having bitch lands a spear he'll probably break his own neck.
Ruxx Rampede
I'm not worried about this big dysmorphic motherfucker. It's the rest of those bitches locked in a cage with him. I don't know if AWF can survive having four competitors killed on live PPV, and I don't wanna go back to only having one job. I just bought new hub caps for my truck.
Black Clyde
But he has five opponents.
Ruxx Rampede
Sure but he's not gonna go all in on Orange Motherfuckin' Cassidy.
Black Clyde
Of course.
Ruxx Rampede
Say have Orange Cassidy and our good friend Jerome Hathersage ever met? I feel like they'd get along.
Black Clyde
I don't know. Until recently I thought of my good friend Jerome Hathersage as kind of a voluntarily lonely guy, who prefers to form tight connections with a very small circle of friends, but I think I may have been wrong.
Homunculus flips down from the pullup bar and seems shocked to see Ruxx and Clyde.
Big Homunculus
How are two such humongous men so stealthy?
Ruxx looks concerned.
Ruxx Rampede
You sleeping good my brother?
Homunculus smiles broadly.
Big Homunculus
For 8 hours a night I dream of committing horrendous acts of violence with impunity. I face people who tower over me and chop them down like a lumberjack. If humans were trees I would have deforested the entire Amazon rainforest and turned the ocean red. I feel wonderful.
Ruxx is no longer concerned.
Ruxx Rampede
Good motherfuckin' shit.
Black Clyde
Go take a shower and eat that BulkPowders™ protein smoothie I mixed for you.
Black Clyde looks at the camera and smiles.
Black Clyde
BulkPowders™ and Black Clyde: A muscular as fuck partnership.
Homunculus walks away, gets lost and accidentally leaves the gym. Through a window he can be seen wandering into traffic. A car hits him and crumples against his mahogany abs. He walks away like nothing happened.
Ruxx Rampede
How's your new tooth?
Clyde flashes a tooth made from the actual Cullinan diamond.
Black Clyde
I was looking for an excuse to make an extremely extravagant and completely unnecessary purchase using the eye patch profits, so no harm done.
Ruxx Rampede
You can't blame short, ugly motherfuckers for wanting to deface such a tall and handsome man.
Black Clyde
Exactly, and I have looks to spare. Hey, wanna double team some bitches again? I have dozens who'd love to.
Ruxx Rampede
Maybe later, I've been scouting out your opponent while you've been training H.
Black Clyde
Good shit. I messaged him on instagram to try and form a friendly rapport, because at the end of the day fighting is about respect, and I find it trite to require every fight to be filled with foul mouthed trash talk.
Black shows Ruxx his phone.
Ruxx Rampede
I wish every bitch in this game were as classy as you, Clyde. Anyway yeah I did some searching and it turns out he's pretty easy to beat. So for starters he was trying to get this old Irish man to drink his whiskey and the guy turned it down so-
Black Clyde
Hold up an old IRISH MAN turned down WHISKEY!?
Ruxx Rampede
Crazy shit, I know.
Black Clyde
That shit must taste worse than crackhead sweat.
Ruxx Rampede
That's the only logical conclusion, I agree. So he blind side punches this old man.
Black Clyde
Shit, I would expect a man of average strength to knock out and probably injure an elderly man with a cheap shot.
Ruxx Rampede
Even a weaker than average man would surely drop a crusty old drunk motherfucker. Well, here it is…
Ruxx gets his phone out.
Black Clyde
Wait up bro I don't wanna see an old man get badly hurt by a professional fighter.
Ruxx Rampede
(chuckles)
No danger of that.
The two men stand in silence for a moment as they watch the famed Mcgregor left hand harmlessly bounce of the old man's head before bursting into full on, slapping-every-object-in-the-vicinity belly laughs.
Black Clyde
I guess the little bitch must be right handed.
Ruxx Rampede
He better be. So yeah then to beat him all you do is, put your arm around my neck for a second or two.
Black Clyde
You sure? My biceps are the largest, hardest object known to the human race and I often crush bowling balls with them for no reason. I don't wanna hurt you.
Ruxx Rampede
Don't worry you don't even need to do it that hard, just do it.
Black Clyde carefully puts his arm around Ruxx's neck.
Ruxx Rampede
That's it, no tighter, no need to kill the poor boy. Now to complete the move just whisper some shit into his ear in Russian.
Clyde speaks fluent Russian, always has done.
Black Clyde
Почувствуй, как тьма окутывает тебя, моя милая маленькая принцесса. Ваша кожа настолько гладкая, какой увлажняющий крем вы используете? Привыкни к этому, это то, что тюрьма будет чувствовать, сука. Ok then what?
Ruxx Rampede
Then he says "It's only business", which is some kinda catch phrase that didn't catch on or some shit, and taps.
Black Clyde
Fuck yeah, I was hoping I'd have time to to replace the batch of Booker T juice with a superior blend, courtesy of my partnership with BulkPowders™.
Ruxx Rampede
Shit, you can have your match so quickly we'll have time to mix up a new batch, impregnate an irresponsible number of bitches and be back in time for my match.
Clyde turns to the camera and hits a double bicep pose, his huge biceps stretching the skin that holds them such is their enormity. Then he starts to flex. As the gap between his fist and shoulder is closed by the tight contraction of his continuously swelling upper arm retractor, the rest of the world around him begins to look smaller. It seems as though the skin containing his biceps must surely tear under the the immense duress of this impossibly swole muscle continuing to grow in in this unrivalled flex. Veins that other people don't even have pop up as the muscle continues to grow under contraction in width as well as height. The peak of the bicep looks like its own bicep. His biceps have biceps. Years of cross body curls, hammer curls, weighted chinups and eating 17 cows a day manifest themselves in an intensely alpha display of dominance. Clyde's face, however, shows no sign of effort. He grins.
Black Clyde
Get shredded, get bedded.
CROSS-DISSOLVE
An intelligent young woman named Natalia Bo Peep sits across from the headteacher of her school.
She feels ashamed to cry in front of this man, but feels so powerless that she begins to well up. He has her future in the palm of his hand but she is unwilling to defile herself. The future she deserves seems lost when the door to the office bursts open and in walks Black Clyde, followed by Ice Tea and their good friend Jerome Hathersage.
Black Clyde
Sorry to interrupt your meeting Natalia Bo Peep, but this is an educational establishment and I'm here to educate. Headteacher, are you listening?
Headteacher
Y-yes.
Black Clyde
First of all, while you may feel as if you have power over people on this premises, understand that if I didn't truly believe in the power of education you'd feel quite powerless against the size 20 boot I'd put up your ass. Luckily for you I do believe in education. I don't know what your background is or what has lead you derive pleasure from forcing women into performing sexual acts on you, but you must understand deep down that it is not just illegal, but disgustingly unethical. You are abusing a position of power over the students who have come here to expand their minds and enhance the prospects of their future. This is a huge compliment to you, as talented students like Natalia Bo Peep could potentially have many options to pursue education elsewhere, and they have chosen your establishment instead. You respond to this compliment by threatening and coercing her into sexual acts. A lack of women knocking your door down to suck your dick willingly is no excuse. The solution to that is to get shredded and get bedded, not to take advantage of your privileged position in this establishment. Maybe I shouldn't be so merciful as to leave this as a lesson, but I'm going to give you a second chance at spending the rest of your life with your arms and legs still attached to your body. If you abuse your position once again this chance will be revoked. If you think your life is gonna continue the same after I walk out the door, YOU are DEAD WRONG. Jerome Hathersage, I believe you had something to say?
Jerome Hathersage
Yes sir, I did.
Jerome Hathersage slowly walks over to the head teacher's desk and leans over, placing his fists on the desk for support. He leans in close to the head teacher.
Jerome Hathersage
I no longer consider you a good friend.
Headteacher
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Headteacher breaks down in tears, sobbing into his hands at the loss of his good friend Jerome Hathersage.
Jerome Hathersage stands up straight and Natalia Be Peep takes a long look at him.
Natalia Bo Peep
Hi, Jerome. Damn...you're a really handsome guy.
As she says this, A$AP Rocky walks past the window and Jerome Hathersage sees this, immediately growing a gargantuan erection.
Natalia Bo Peep
Oh, you're gay…
Jerome Hathersage
I am NOT gay. I have relationships with women, and SEX with men.
Ice T
I've got news for ya, that doesn't mean he's gay.
Ice Tea looks to Black Clyde and Jerome Hathersage for approval who both give him a nod of respect. Ice Tea has been open to education and improved himself.
Natalia Bo Peep
You have relationships with women and sex with men? Well I'm a hetero-romantic asexual, while also being comfortable with polyamory!
Jerome Hathersage
Well how about that. Shall we get a drink, Natalia Bo Peep?
Natalia Bo Peep
I'd like that a lot.
Jerome Hathersage wipes a tear away from her cheek that was shed before Clyde and co interrupted her ordeal.
Jerome Hathersage
No need for tears anymore.
Black Clyde
C'mon guys, let's get going.
Black Clyde, Ice Tea, Jerome Hathersage and Natalia Bo Peep all file out of the room and close the door behind them.
Headteacher looks up to see they've gone and wipes sweat away from his forehead.
Headteacher
Phew!
CUT TO
Outside of the office, Clyde and co are walking away but Ice Tea halts.
Ice T
Shit I forgot something!
CUT TO
In the headteachers office, the door swings open and Ice Tea walks back in, pulls out a Glock 19 and unloads the whole clip into the headteacher's face, completely massacring his entire head.
CUT TO
Ice Tea walks back out of the office and to his friends.
Ice T
You guys have any spare bullets with you? Nine millimetres?
The group start patting themselves down, checking pockets and such. Jerome Hathersage finds two 9mm bullets in his back pocket and hands them to Ice. Natalie Bo Peep finds four 9mm bullets, all in separate pockets, and hands them over.
Black Clyde
I only have 50 calibre rounds on me, no use?
Ice T
It's ok, this will be plenty.
Ice Tea heads back into the head teacher's office and 6 more shots are heard before he comes back out.
Ice T
Ok, let's get going, I want to be home in time for Sense8.
Natalie Bo Peep
Isn't that a Netflix show?
Ice T
Yeah I wanna be home in time to watch it.
Natalia Bo Peep
Home in time? It's an on demand service.
Jerome Hathersage puts his hand on her shoulder and winks at her. She immediately understands; Ice Tea is an older guy, he doesn't get it. Jerome Hathersage is such a good communicator.
Jerome Hathersage
I'm sure you'll get back just in time, Ice. You'll hit play and it'll be just starting.
Ice T
That's happened every other time I've watched it, but I feel like I'm pushing my luck at this point.
They all walk off into the sunset.
Black Clyde
I hope I didn't take it too easy on that head teacher. I'll be unable to forgive myself if I hear he's abused another student.
Ice Tea chuckles coldly to himself.
Ice T
Sense8
FADE OUT
FADE INTO THE ARENA
WINNER FACES AWF PROVINCIAL CHAMPION NEXT PRIMETIME
EVERYBODY WANNA BE A BUILDER,
BUT DON’T NOBODY WANNA LIFT NO HEAVY ASS WEIGHTS!...
YEAH BUDDY!
IT’S ON NOW!
SOMEBODY DONE LET THE DOGS OUT!
What an ecstatic pop, does Black Clyde garner, who enters the Yankee Stadium with that smile on his face. A massive motherfucker, his wide-ass gets a spotlight on him and him only, as he does the standard bodybuilding poses, to the best form you’ve ever seen: first the front double biceps, before he turns for to off the rear of them; suddenly a luxurious quarter turn, before striking into a side tricep pose, then a side chest pose to cap that hoe off.
Then he’s off, taking his time to enjoy the preachings of Ronnie Coleman.
Mark Beverly: The following contest, set for one fall, will determine who faces the AWF Provincial Champion at the start of our European tour, next PrimeTime! Introducing first, from the Weight Room, weighing two hundred forty nine pounds: BLACK! CLYDE!
Three side chest poses for each step, until he reaches the center of the apron, where he offers another front double biceps. Inside the ring, the crowd chants his second name while he repeats the poses from the stage.
Being where we are, the Notorious B.I.G.’s voice garners the biggest pop of the night, by far. Not only that, but most people here love Conor and all his cuntiness. The crowd turn on him as Conor moves out onto the stage, surrounded by no security this time, but instead Brian Pillman Jr. flanking behind, McGregor doing his classic Vince McMahon limp arm walk, Irish flag adorned over his shoulders. It seems as though he expects this to be a cakewalk, given his facial expression as the crowd goes bonkers in their reaction, often taking to rapping along the lyrics with Biggie.
Mark Beverly: And his opponent from, Crumlin, Dublin, Ireland... weighing in at one hundred seventy pounds he is The Notorious! The G.O.A.T! CONOR! MC! GRE! GOR!
Soaking in the response, as any at all is satisfying for the bloke, Pillman pats and massages McGregor’s shoulders while dishing out rhetoric into his air. Conor nods on, all the while staring a hole through Clyde. Upon handing the flag to Brian, McGregor is up the steps and into the ring. Pillman drapes the flag over the ringpost, before leaving back up the ramp. Conor McGregor don't need fookin' managers.
Ding!
Black Clyde and Conor McGregor begin to circle one another, Clyde's veiny arms pulsing, his eyes wide and intense as they rest on McGregor. The Notorious meanwhile just looks smug, circling Clyde, not looking at him like an equal opponent at all.
Conor McGregor: You finally done tuggin' it off to fookin' Pikachu!?
Black Clyde: I have never once masturbated to an Anime! In fact, I see Hentai as an insult to the otherwise beautiful art form!
Conor McGregor: I don't what any of these fookin' words are! Never seen a guy with so much muscles be such a fookin' nerd!
Black Clyde: Get your pasty, paddy-ass ready boy, cos I'm gonna stick my boot up it!
Conor McGregor: Come try it you big fooker!
And with that, Black moves first, lunging at McGregor and swinging a few sweeping hooks his way, but McGregor ducks and weaves them, not a single one landing. They're thrown with such force that they look worthy of decapitating a Blue Whale, the gust of wind that each strike carries almost knocking sections of the crowd off of their feet, but McGregor only laughs after each one fails to land.
He suddenly throws a hook up into Clyde's face, knocking Instagram's newest legend stumbling backwards. Clyde looks shocked, the punch having absolutely devastated him. As he clutches his head, he looks up at McGregor.
Black Clyde: How tough was that old guy in the bar!?
McGregor is upon him quickly though, and keeps sending jabs up into the face of Black, before finally Clyde gets his thick forearms up to block the blows, and McGregor laughs before taking a few steps backwards, before circling in for a nasty blow to Clyde's ribs!
The fitness instructor keels over involuntarily, as McGregor uses the opportunity to keep sending more shots into Clyde's face, making a cut under his eye quite quickly. Clyde uses his strength to shove McGregor backwards, forcing the Irishman to the mat, but as Black tries to capitalise, he's already a bit slower and more dazed, which allows McGregor to his feet quickly.
Clyde is trying to swipe at McGregor now, stopping him from getting in close, but Conor keeps blitzing in, aiming a few well-timed shots at Clyde's ribs, and then ducking back out. Each one slows Black down even more, clearly putting him through the ringer.
After a few more rib shots, Clyde can feel the affect on his torso, and he can't afford this onslaught to continue… he takes a huge swing at McGregor, hoping to catch him and finish him off quick!
But it's ducked! McGregor swings a right hook at Clyde's jaw!
WHAM!!!
Clyde feels himself rocked, as he collapses to the mat, almost unconscious. He sees stars, as McGregor stands over him with a smile.
Conor McGregor: I ain't gonna pin you either… I'm gonna prove just how good I am, by knocking you down for the 10.
McGregor smiles, before sending another nasty shot at Clyde's head! Black is rocked, before he slumps to the mat, and McGregor McMahon walks away from him.
Cal looks at the downed Clyde and begins the count…
Cal Elton: 'ONE!
TWO!
THREE!'
Clyde starts to stir, looking up to see McGregor already raising his hand, a cocky smile on his face. Clyde knows he can't let this man win, not that easily.
'FOUR!
FIVE!
Alright he's up!'
McGregor turns around, eyebrow raised, as Clyde pushes his way to his feet. He runs at McGregor and goes for a lariat, but Conor ducks easily, before another hook sends Clyde crashing back down!
Cal starts the count once more.
Cal Elton: 'ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FOUR!
FIVE!
SIX!
SEV- HE'S UP!!!'
McGregor sighs this time, stopping his celebration short as he turns to look at jelly-legged Black Clyde once more! He charges at him, and crashes a right hook straight through Black's face! Watching as the bigger man collapses down once more!
Conor climbs on top of Clyde, sending shot after shot after shot into his face! Clyde can barely see as the fists rain down, cutting his lip, busting his nose, blackening his eyes! Once McGregor is done, Clyde is a mess of his former self, laying in a puddle of his blood. Conor has lost his cocksure demeanour, screaming at Black.
Conor McGregor: Now stay down you fookin' unit!
McGregor finally climbs off of Clyde, leaving him laid on his back in a pool of his blood! Clyde is unmoving, swollen eyes barely able to see the ceiling that he stares up at. McGregor doesn't gloat, or celebrate, he just sits in the corner this time, eyes resting on Clyde.
Cal Elton begins the count…
Cal Elton: 'ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FOUR!
FIVE!
SIX!
SEVEN!
EIGHT!
NI- NO! HE'S UP!!!
The crowd pop, as Clyde is up! McGregor is already upon him though, charging at Clyde and grabbing him by the skull as he lifts him to face him.
Conor McGregor: You fookin' cun-
Clyde breaks Conor's grip, before spinning around quickly…
SPINNING BACKFIST!!! RIGHT ACROSS CONOR'S MOUTH!!!
Conor collapses down to the mat, with Clyde toppling forwards on top of him for the pin!
ONE…
TWO…
MCGREGOR KICKS OUT!!!
Black rolls off of McGregor, blood pouring from his face, a look of helplessness in his swollen eyes! He roars as he bashes the mat, before trying with all of his might to push himself to his feet! McGregor has made it up too though, but Clyde is fired up!
He sends a BIG BOOT at Conor's head! Rocking the Irishman backwards and sending him tumbling into the ropes, before he bounds back straight into another BIG BOOT which sends him down!!! McGregor rolls into the corner, where he pulls himself to his feet, only for Clyde to charge at him…
CORNER SPLASH!!!
McGregor is flattened between Clyde's huge body and the turnbuckle! Clyde runs to the opposite turnbuckle, before charging back once more… a SECOND CORNER SPLASH!!! McGregor looks even more winded, as Clyde musters all his strength as he runs at the opposite turnbuckle, charging for a THIRD CORNER SPLASH!!!
NO!!! McGregor ducks it!!! Clyde hits face first into the turnbuckle! He stumbles backwards, straight into McGregor's arms around his waist…
GERMAN SUPLEX!!!
Clyde is brought down nastily on his neck, before he crumples over onto his front!! The wave of adrenaline fades, and he looks exhausted and in pain once more, as the Notorious makes it to his feet. He looks furious at Clyde, charging at him and sending a violent toe kick right into Black's temple! He goes still to the mat!
McGregor isn't done there though, he lifts up Black angrily and tosses him through the middle rope and to the outside, before following him out, ignoring Cal Elton's demands to do otherwise. As Clyde crawls across the concrete floor, McGregor keeps sending toe kicks at his stomach, further hurting those ribs damaged from earlier.
Conor McGregor: You really fooked up big fella! Shoulda' stayed down in that ring!
McGregor lifts Clyde to his feet, before aiming him at the steel steps, and tossing him! Clyde connects face first with the steps! Luckily, unlike Rey Mysterio, he's already missing an eye and so can't lose it again.
Clyde rolls across the floor, before McGregor has him up again, before sending him head first into the barricade! The crowd boo, as Conor sends kick after kick into Clyde's ribs and head, using the barricade for leverage! Quickly, he has Clyde up once more, and tosses him hard into the timekeeper's area! Clyde crashes down hard into the steel chairs and various equipment, where he clutches himself in pain, barely able to breathe through all the pain.
McGregor is upon him once more, glaring down at Clyde in disgust, before lifting him up by the head, and slamming it off of the barricade once more. As Cal Elton reaches the eight count, Conor moves with Clyde back to the ring, before tossing him inside. As McGregor is about to climb in after him… he hears a fan in the front row shout!
Fan: PROPER TWELVE FUCKING SUCKS!!!
McGregor stops in his tracks, his head twisting around almost like Linda Blair from the Exorcist. He moves over to where the fan is, suddenly the fan looks quite intimidated as McGregor is in his face.
Conor McGregor: Fook did you say?
Fan: Umm… I- I didn't mean-
McGregor sends a shot at the fan's head, knocking him out instantly. He looks down at the fan, furious, before looking at the surrounding crowd members.
Conor McGregor: You insult my whiskey, you'll fookin' join him! You got tha'?
The surrounding crowd all nod, terrified. McGregor grunts, before turning around and moving back over to the ring, where Clyde still lays on the mat. Conor rolls inside, and converges on Black…
But the Fitness Instructor is on his feet! He lifts McGregor into the air!
SPINEBUSTER!!!
McGregor crashes to the mat spine first, as Clyde collapses over! He's too beaten and bloody though that he can't even make the pin, he just lays there, brutalised. Cal Elton sees both men down, and begins to count.
Cal Elton: 'ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FOUR!
FIVE!
Jim Ross: What happens here if it's another draw!? Do we have another fight!?
Christian Cage: I don't know JR!
SIX!
SEVEN!
EIGHT!
NINE!
CLYDE IS UP!
SO IS MCGREGOR!!!
Clyde charges McGregor, trying to lift him up onto his shoulders for a powerslam… but McGregor slips behind him!
He locks Clyde up in a REAR-NAKED CHOKE!!!
The crowd are on their feet as Clyde is wrenched to the mat, choke applied, trying with all of his might to yank his way out of it… but throughout the match he's been too weakened, and he can't fight!
Clyde reaches his muscled arm towards the rope… desperate for a rope break…
But they're too far away!
Clyde fights with all his might, but his eyes slowly start to close, as his body relaxes in McGregor's grasp! Suddenly, he goes limp.
Conor McGregor: He's out ref! Check him! Check him!
Cal lifts Clyde's arm… and it goes limp!
Cal Elton: ONE!
Cal lifts Clyde's arm a second time…
And it goes limp!
Cal Elton: TWO!
Cal lifts Clyde's arm a third time…
AND CLYDE CLUTCHES ONTO CAL'S HAND!!!
Almost without thinking, he squeezes hard, crushing Cal's hand in his grip! Elton screams, yanking out of Clyde's grip, as he tumbles backwards into the ropes, rolling around on the mat.
McGregor looks confused, his grip loosening just enough that Clyde is able to break out of the choke! Clyde looks down at Elton… not noticing Conor aiming at his head behind him…
CONOR SWINGS!
LEFT HOOK!
NO! CLYDE DUCKS!!!
LOW BLOW!!! CLYDE BOOTS MCGREGOR IN THE BALLS!!!
The Irishman roars, before collapsing over to the mat! Clyde instinctively does the deepest squat he's ever done, before using his immense leg strength, leaps high into the air! He aims his tensed Bicep at McGregor's head…
Black Clyde: MOON PRISM POWERRRRRRR!!!!!!
BICEP DROP!!!!
RIGHT ACROSS MCGREGOR'S SKULL!!!
THE NOTORIOUS FALLS MOTIONLESS!!!
Clyde hooks the leg, as he shouts for Elton to move back over!
Elton notices, and counts with his left hand…
ONE…
TWO…
THREE!
DING DING DING
The crowd roar with cheers! Black Clyde wins it! He's won! The member of 3BN can't even pull himself to his feet, beaten and bloody, just collapsing over to the mat, but clearly over the (sailor) moon with his victory. He crawls over to the ropes, away from the slain McGregor, and slowly tries but fails to pull himself to his feet.
Luckily, he doesn't need to.
He feels himself lifted up, into the arms of Ruxx Rampede and Big Homunculus. His two fellow stable members are with him, holding him up, hugging him tightly! The pride is clear in their eyes, they are so happy for their brother for his first singles win, especially over a man like Conor McGregor.
Ruxx Rampede: That looked tougher than you were making out, brother.
Clyde looks at Ruxx through his completely mutilated face, clutching at his broken ribs.
Black Clyde: No it was easy.
Conor McGregor: You fookers!
The trio turn, seeing that McGregor is on his feet, glaring at the three of them. He lifts his hands, readying himself for a fight.
Conor McGregor: I'll show you easy you stupid fookin'-
BLAM!!! McGregor goes down, as a bottle of Proper Twelve is shattered over his head!!! As the Irishman hits the mat, in a pool of his whiskey and broken glass, above him stands Ice T. He smiles at the group.
Ice T: Wow, turns out that piss was worth the money after all!
Ice T, Ruxx, and Clyde all laugh, freeze-framing, as credits play over their face. The Full House closing theme plays.
Homunculus doesn't laugh though, nor join in the freeze frame. He just remains stood, breathing heavily, looking determined.
His mind is on the Chamber.
His mind is on Dyno-Mike.
Black Clyde defeats Conor McGregor in 12:40