Post by Phil Goode on Jul 25, 2020 5:35:48 GMT -5
Fade in. There is an outline of the 48 contiguous states beaming off of several TV screens. A silver slanted car logo begins traveling within the outline, creating every border of the United States. A star icon appears, and it finds a nice home, hoovering over the approximation of New York state. The surface of the star is slowly revealing a set of white, glowing words and it takes a couple of seconds to actually decipher the code. After a moment, the sentence is fully visible, and it says… You Have Arrived at Your Destination!
(Outside of the historic Yankee Stadium) BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. The sound of a car horn is echoing from the streets. The driver of the vehicle is relentlessly revving the engine along with it, but to be honest… it doesn’t sound pleasant. Years of wear and tear can be heard loud and clear, but the driver won’t give it a rest. There is a scent of desperation in the air and it is quite poignant. This wretched stench is permeating from the armpits of a bronzed Italian man and his dirty yellow cab. He watches two lovers embrace in a game of tonsil-hockey, and then he grabs his crotch for a minute.
(Short pause) 60 seconds… however, is a relatively short time for groping your goods... at least in his eyes. He decides to pull his driver seat all the way back and continue his happy time. It takes only an extra three minutes for him to finish the job. Now, more relieved than ever, the furry Italian man jumps out of his cab and lamps on the sidewalk.
(With his fly wide open) Ahhhh wow, just what the doc ordered… a tropical breeze. It’s hard sitting down all day, my little guy needs to breathe from time to time.
(Walking up to random pedestrians) Hey! You over there with the slacks, I have this unexplainable feeling that you could use a ride. Hop in the cab. (Pointing to the vehicle but also to his unzipped Levi’s) I’ll give you 50% off pal… just for you.
(Visibly uninterested) Ehh, I’m all set boss. I got this app called Uber Plus… uh my ride is actually on the way.
(Offended and angry) Oh ok. That’s how it is huh? That’s how you feel buddy. (Mocking the man) You got The Uber... The Uber’s coming; The Uber’s gonna save you from the all-American working man. Well how about this, how does this sound? Fuck you and The Uber… punk.
(Rubbing his eyes and regaining his vision) What in the hell was that?
The eyetalian scoops his glasses from his hairy chest… and yes, his chain hangs low and even wobbles to the floo(r).
Just as the car pulls away from sight, the taxi driver sees the license plate that reads… G-PLUS.
(His face is now a copper tone. His nose is leaking snot and he is experiencing an anxiety attack) I hate you G-Plus. I really hate you!
(Outside of the historic Yankee Stadium) BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. The sound of a car horn is echoing from the streets. The driver of the vehicle is relentlessly revving the engine along with it, but to be honest… it doesn’t sound pleasant. Years of wear and tear can be heard loud and clear, but the driver won’t give it a rest. There is a scent of desperation in the air and it is quite poignant. This wretched stench is permeating from the armpits of a bronzed Italian man and his dirty yellow cab. He watches two lovers embrace in a game of tonsil-hockey, and then he grabs his crotch for a minute.
(Short pause) 60 seconds… however, is a relatively short time for groping your goods... at least in his eyes. He decides to pull his driver seat all the way back and continue his happy time. It takes only an extra three minutes for him to finish the job. Now, more relieved than ever, the furry Italian man jumps out of his cab and lamps on the sidewalk.
Taxi Driver #2
(With his fly wide open) Ahhhh wow, just what the doc ordered… a tropical breeze. It’s hard sitting down all day, my little guy needs to breathe from time to time.
Looking at his taximeter, he remembers why he stepped outside of the cab.
Random Man
(Visibly uninterested) Ehh, I’m all set boss. I got this app called Uber Plus… uh my ride is actually on the way.
Taxi Driver #2
(Offended and angry) Oh ok. That’s how it is huh? That’s how you feel buddy. (Mocking the man) You got The Uber... The Uber’s coming; The Uber’s gonna save you from the all-American working man. Well how about this, how does this sound? Fuck you and The Uber… punk.
Before the random man utters his next response, a silver 2003 Lexus ES 300 speeds by the dirty taxicab. A florescent green sign on the dashboard blinds the taxi driver momentarily and the e(l)usive Lexus speeds away.
Taxi Driver #2
(Rubbing his eyes and regaining his vision) What in the hell was that?
The taxi driver looks both ways before he catches a glimpse of a luxury automobile at the nearest stop sign. He scrunches his forehead and squints to get a better view of the car.
The eyetalian scoops his glasses from his hairy chest… and yes, his chain hangs low and even wobbles to the floo(r).
Just as the car pulls away from sight, the taxi driver sees the license plate that reads… G-PLUS.
Taxi Driver #2
(His face is now a copper tone. His nose is leaking snot and he is experiencing an anxiety attack) I hate you G-Plus. I really hate you!