Post by figueiras69 on Jul 24, 2020 22:35:46 GMT -5
José Figueiras is in the bath.
José Figueiras
Wow I love a good bath.
The cam zooms out and Mongo MacMichael is riding him like a bull.
Jose Figueiras
Hello Mongo.
Mongo MacMichael
It’s pronounced Moongo.
Jose Figueiras
No thanks.
Mongo MacMichael
alright.
Moongo sits adjacently perpindicularly paralalel to Jose in the bath. He pulls out a rubber duck, and passes it to Jose.
Mongo MacMichael
So, what we up to? What’s the plan, Figman?
Mongo leans forwards in anticipation.
Joker Figueiras
We kill the batman.
Mongo MacMichael begins to clap.
Mongo MacMichael
I like that idea… I’m in you son of a bitch.
Mongo stands up. Somehow he is in ring gear.
Mongo MacMichael
Lead the way.
José Figueiras smiles.
He smiles very intensely.
José Figueiras smiles so intensely that the camera moves and focuses completely on his testicles.
They aren’t testicles.
They’re the faces of D-Von Dudley and D-Lo Brown
He grabs the camera and brings it back up to camera. I mean, his face.
José Figueiras
The thing you don’t know though… And I need you to know this…
Mongo leans forwards, and cups Jose’s face. He puts a finger to his lips and shushes him.
Mongo MacMichael
Oh Jose… I already know.
José Figueiras
I don’t think you do.
Mongo MacMichael
Yeah I definitely do not actually tbh.
José Figueiras
The thing is, Mongoose…
Mongoose MacMichael
What is it it Jongoose?
Jongoose Figueiras
You are Batman.
Mongo nods slowly, a tear drops down his cheek.
Mongo MacMichael
Then I know what I must do.
He grabs the shotgun floating in the bathwater, before placing the barrel in his mouth.
José Figueiras
No. Don’t work yourself into a shoot.
Hulk Hogan blows the door down with his massive foot.
Hulk Hogan
Sorry brother.
Mongo MacMichael
Boy that is a massive foot.
Hulk Hogan tries to eradicate Mongo MacMichael. The shotgun goes flying out of Mongo’s hands, through the air, hitting against the side of the bathtub, going off, and blowing a hole through Hulk Hogan’s chest.
Hulk Hogan
Well… I worked myself into a shoot brother.
Hulk drops dead.
But then he regenerates through the power of racism.
Hulk Hogan
Brother…
Mongo MacMichael
Sorry brother.
Mongo shoots Hulk Hogan again, and this time he falls flat.
He then regenerates through the power of racism.
José Figueiras
Racism is bad.
Mongo MacMichael
Yeah it is.
Mongo shoots Hulk again. He falls over again. He’s dead again.
He comes back through the power of racism.
Mongo MacMichael
Boy oh boy. This sure is getting repetitive. I don’t really know what’s going on here Jose. What’s our plan of action?
José Figueiras
We kill the Batman.
Mongo MacMichael
What?
Hulk Hogan seems to be in a horrible state of thought.
Hulk Hogan
Brother. Is racism really bad, brother?
José Figueiras
Yes, brother.
Hulk Hogan
Oh, brother…
José Figueiras and Mongo MacMichael
What brother?
Hulk Hogan
Brother.
Hulk Hogan stops being racist.
The END
Just kidding though.
He’s still racist.
But for the dough
He’ll pretend not to be’ist.
Hulk Hogan
I am no longer a racist.
Too late motherfucker
Wesley Snipes absolutely murders Hulk Hogan with his massive penis.
José Figueiras & Mongo MacMichael
But you still haven’t paid your taxes!
Wesley Snipes dies.
José Figueiras
Drink your milk and eat your vitamins.