Post by The Notorious on Jul 21, 2020 21:24:07 GMT -5
Conor McGregor: Fookin' thats how its done! You see the way I planted that fookin' cunts head on the concrete? I fookin' showed 'im did'n I?
Kasey Haste: Damn right you did Conor. Now you have the upper hand going into the PPV. Into one of the biggest paydays of your life! Man, I'm a really goof fuckin' agent.
Conor McGregor: Damn right you are kid. You got me this fookin' gig in the AWF, you got us in Austins good books... so now. We are fookin' untouchable!
Dee Devlin: Is that you, love?
Conor McGregor: Aye, it is. Me and ol' Kasey here got some BIG news for us, dontcha kid?
Kasey Haste: Yes I do Mr McGregor. We got a BIG money match at the PPV! You two are gonna be fuckin' LOADED!
Dee Devlin: Thank you so much Kasey... you are always welcome in our home! You just make sure he comes out of this match on top... you understand me?
Kasey Haste: Yes Ma'am... I will make sure he does.
Conor McGregor: Good on ya kid. Now, Dee, Me and Kasey 'ere are expectin' some company later. Can you go and get us some Proper 12 and bring it to the den?
Dee Devlin: Of course I can, love. I'll be right down with it.
Conor McGregor: Cheers, love. Now come on kid. Let's go talk some business.
Conor McGregor: ...and then I told Dana, "If you want me to purposefully lose to Mayweather, I better be gettin' paid more than that fookin, twat! I'm the only reason he is as relevant as he is now!"
Kasey Haste: Damn Straight! So Dana paid you to take a dive in that fight?
Conor McGregor: Short answer is I canne say, cause the Mayweathers made me sign a NDA. Long answer... FOOK THE MAYWEATHERS! I got payed to take a fookin' dive and Floyd is too scared to admit it.
Dee Devlin: Love, I have your Proper 12 ready... and you have some company.
Conor McGregor: Well don't just stand there, bring our guests and our booze into here!
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: Goddamn! What's a guy gotta do around here to get himself a fucking beverage!
Conor McGregor: If it ain't the man himself! What 're you doin' 'ere Steve?
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: Can a guy not show up at one of his buddies houses and drink some alcohol with him?
Conor McGregor: I ain't ever said that! Come in, you too Pillman. Let's fookin' celebrate our victory as a group last night! We're gonna need some more booze in 'ere... DEE!
Dee Devlin: Yes love?
Conor McGregor: We're gonna need a couple more bottles of Proper 12 in 'ere. We have more company than expected!
Dee Devlin: Of course, love. I'll go get a couple more now.
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: So. This is your branded whiskey right here?
Kasey Haste: It is indeed Mr Austin. Conor wanted to make a whiskey that is... well... a proper Irish Whiskey.
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: ...
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: And just who the fuck do you think you are?
Kasey Haste: I-I-I-I
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: Now, I'm gonna go and ask you again... and I don't want to hear another stutter come from your mouth... you understand me?
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: Who the fuck are you?
Kasey Haste: Kasey, Kasey Haste.
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: Well, Mr Kasey Fucking Haste. What the fuck are you doing down here? Do you work for Conor?: Are you one of his fucking servants or something?
Kasey Haste: No... No sir. I am Conors Agent.
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: Well first of all kid. I'm enjoying all this "Sir" shit you're talkin' about. Finally I'm gettin' some proper fuckin' recognition 'round here. So keep that up when you speak to me.
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: Now, Conor.
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: You make this shit here? Or is it distilled some other place?
Conor McGregor: Well, it used to be distilled 'ere. But then the government caught wind o' it and shut it down. So we got a proper place for it now, it still has the same great fookin' taste it always did though.
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: Goddamn Son, that right there is some proper fucking whiskey!
Kasey Haste: Who else were we expecting tonight, Conor?
Conor McGregor: Just an old mate o' mine from the joint, and one of his mates he's come across recently, says he used to be big back in the deathmatch scene before going to prison
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: Shit, son. That could be anyone, that deathmatch bullshit is big for anyone thats a part of it. Makes them feel included.
Conor McGregor: That's true, but apparently this cunt is still goin' today. So who the fook knows aye...
New Jack: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: Is that New Jack? What's going on you crazy sonuvabitch!
Conor McGregor: Long time no see ya crazy muthafucka! How've ya been?
New Jack: WELL I BEEN HERE AND I BEEN THERE, I'M HERE NOW SO THERE'S THAT. WHAT ARE YOU MUTHAFUCKAS DOIN?!
Conor McGregor: We've just been chillin' bruv, Drinkin' some of the finest Irish Whiskey that my country 'as to offer, you want some?
New Jack: NAH IM GOOD G, I ALREADY GOT MY DRINK OF CHOICE THANKS FOR THE OFFER THO.
Conor McGregor: So... what did you want to meet here for?
New Jack: I CAME TO GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE ON HOW TO WIN YOUR NEXT MATCH.
New Jack: WAIT, WRONG POCKET.
New Jack: HERE, TAKE THIS SHIT.
Conor McGregor: Whoa Whao Whoa, why the fook are you giving me a fookin' knife?
New Jack: BECAUSE BITCH! YOUS GONNA NEEDS IT IN THE RING WITH BLACK CLYDE, THAT MUTHAFUCKA PLAYS DIRTY IN SITUATIONS LIKE THESE
Conor McGregor: So you want me to STAB the cunt?
New Jack: YEAH BITCH! YOU GOTTA STAB HIM REAL GOOD, TRUST ME I KNOW
Conor McGregor: How fookin' high are you right now?
New Jack: YES
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: I got something else planned for that sorry bastard, but I got nothing but respect for the idea, Jack.
Conor McGregor: Oh you do? Fookin' 'ell mate, better indulge us all in this plan o' yours.
New Jack: HOLD UP MUTHAFUCKAS! HOLD UP!
New Jack: DOES ANYONE HAVE THE LIL SPINNY PART FOR THE TWISTER BOARD?
Conor McGregor: The fookin' what?
New Jack: THE SPINNY TWISTER PART
Conor McGregor: I gotta say im slightly intrigued by this, why the fook do you need it?
New Jack: I NEED IT FOR THIS. NEW JACK TWISTER, PATENT PENDING
Conor is a happy chap, he has now returned home after his successful(*) debut in the AWF
*(Kinda, but not really)
Kasey Haste: Damn right you did Conor. Now you have the upper hand going into the PPV. Into one of the biggest paydays of your life! Man, I'm a really goof fuckin' agent.
Conor McGregor: Damn right you are kid. You got me this fookin' gig in the AWF, you got us in Austins good books... so now. We are fookin' untouchable!
Conor throws his bags on the floor, even with how expensive they are, they aren't worth shit to Conor. He is MADE of money.
Dee Devlin: Is that you, love?
Conor McGregor: Aye, it is. Me and ol' Kasey here got some BIG news for us, dontcha kid?
Kasey Haste: Yes I do Mr McGregor. We got a BIG money match at the PPV! You two are gonna be fuckin' LOADED!
Dee jumps up and down all excited, before coming over and hugging Conor, giving him a kiss on the cheek, she lets go of Conor and gives Kasey a hug as well.
Dee Devlin: Thank you so much Kasey... you are always welcome in our home! You just make sure he comes out of this match on top... you understand me?
Kasey Haste: Yes Ma'am... I will make sure he does.
Conor McGregor: Good on ya kid. Now, Dee, Me and Kasey 'ere are expectin' some company later. Can you go and get us some Proper 12 and bring it to the den?
Dee Devlin: Of course I can, love. I'll be right down with it.
Conor McGregor: Cheers, love. Now come on kid. Let's go talk some business.
With that, Kasey and Conor walk to the den, while Dee does her best for Conor, going to get this whiskey for him before his company arrives.
AN HOUR AND A HALF LATER
Conor McGregor: ...and then I told Dana, "If you want me to purposefully lose to Mayweather, I better be gettin' paid more than that fookin, twat! I'm the only reason he is as relevant as he is now!"
Kasey Haste: Damn Straight! So Dana paid you to take a dive in that fight?
Conor McGregor: Short answer is I canne say, cause the Mayweathers made me sign a NDA. Long answer... FOOK THE MAYWEATHERS! I got payed to take a fookin' dive and Floyd is too scared to admit it.
Conor and Kasey burst out laughing... Fuck The Mayweathers. Then all of a sudden Dee pops her head around the corner and into the den.
Dee Devlin: Love, I have your Proper 12 ready... and you have some company.
Conor McGregor: Well don't just stand there, bring our guests and our booze into here!
Dee does as she is told, bringing the Whiskey into the room, shortly after she is followed in by two men.
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: Goddamn! What's a guy gotta do around here to get himself a fucking beverage!
Conor McGregor: If it ain't the man himself! What 're you doin' 'ere Steve?
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: Can a guy not show up at one of his buddies houses and drink some alcohol with him?
Conor McGregor: I ain't ever said that! Come in, you too Pillman. Let's fookin' celebrate our victory as a group last night! We're gonna need some more booze in 'ere... DEE!
Dee peeks her head around the corner again.
Dee Devlin: Yes love?
Conor McGregor: We're gonna need a couple more bottles of Proper 12 in 'ere. We have more company than expected!
Dee Devlin: Of course, love. I'll go get a couple more now.
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: So. This is your branded whiskey right here?
Kasey Haste: It is indeed Mr Austin. Conor wanted to make a whiskey that is... well... a proper Irish Whiskey.
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: ...
Steve looks at Kasey, then back at Conor, then back at Kasey.
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: And just who the fuck do you think you are?
Kasey Haste: I-I-I-I
Steve lifts his hand up to Kasey, telling him to shut the fuck up.
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: Now, I'm gonna go and ask you again... and I don't want to hear another stutter come from your mouth... you understand me?
Kasey nods
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: Who the fuck are you?
Kasey Haste: Kasey, Kasey Haste.
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: Well, Mr Kasey Fucking Haste. What the fuck are you doing down here? Do you work for Conor?: Are you one of his fucking servants or something?
Kasey Haste: No... No sir. I am Conors Agent.
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: Well first of all kid. I'm enjoying all this "Sir" shit you're talkin' about. Finally I'm gettin' some proper fuckin' recognition 'round here. So keep that up when you speak to me.
Kasey nods
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: Now, Conor.
Steve turns his head back to Conor.
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: You make this shit here? Or is it distilled some other place?
Conor McGregor: Well, it used to be distilled 'ere. But then the government caught wind o' it and shut it down. So we got a proper place for it now, it still has the same great fookin' taste it always did though.
As Conor talks, he grabs four whiskey glasses out from the buffet hutch, places them on the table, then pous about a shots worth of Proper 12 into them, before handing a glass to each of the four of them.
Conor McGregor: Cheers Fellas. To Victory!Everyone gives each other a cheers before downing their shots worth of the whiskey. Steve is the first one to speak afterwards.
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: Goddamn Son, that right there is some proper fucking whiskey!
Conor laughs, he's glad that people outside of him and the Irish actually enjoy it, Brian Pillman Jr gives a nod and asks for more, Conor happily obliges
Kasey Haste: Who else were we expecting tonight, Conor?
Conor McGregor: Just an old mate o' mine from the joint, and one of his mates he's come across recently, says he used to be big back in the deathmatch scene before going to prison
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: Shit, son. That could be anyone, that deathmatch bullshit is big for anyone thats a part of it. Makes them feel included.
Conor McGregor: That's true, but apparently this cunt is still goin' today. So who the fook knows aye...
As soon as Conor says that...
This is the part of my writing piece where i recommend you listen to something while you read, so here you go
New Jack bursts into the room, bottle of Malt Liquor in one of his hands, clearly blasted off his fucking mind on anything he could get his hands on.
New Jack: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: Is that New Jack? What's going on you crazy sonuvabitch!
Stone Cold and Conor get out of their seats to greet New Jack, who embraces them with open arms.
Conor McGregor: Long time no see ya crazy muthafucka! How've ya been?
New Jack: WELL I BEEN HERE AND I BEEN THERE, I'M HERE NOW SO THERE'S THAT. WHAT ARE YOU MUTHAFUCKAS DOIN?!
Conor McGregor: We've just been chillin' bruv, Drinkin' some of the finest Irish Whiskey that my country 'as to offer, you want some?
New Jack: NAH IM GOOD G, I ALREADY GOT MY DRINK OF CHOICE THANKS FOR THE OFFER THO.
Conor McGregor: So... what did you want to meet here for?
New Jack: I CAME TO GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE ON HOW TO WIN YOUR NEXT MATCH.
New Jack reaches into one of his many pockets, pulling out a baggie of cocaine.
New Jack: WAIT, WRONG POCKET.
He puts it away and reaches into another one of his pockets, and pulls out an exacto knife.
New Jack: HERE, TAKE THIS SHIT.
Conor McGregor: Whoa Whao Whoa, why the fook are you giving me a fookin' knife?
New Jack: BECAUSE BITCH! YOUS GONNA NEEDS IT IN THE RING WITH BLACK CLYDE, THAT MUTHAFUCKA PLAYS DIRTY IN SITUATIONS LIKE THESE
Conor McGregor: So you want me to STAB the cunt?
New Jack: YEAH BITCH! YOU GOTTA STAB HIM REAL GOOD, TRUST ME I KNOW
Conor McGregor: How fookin' high are you right now?
New Jack: YES
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: I got something else planned for that sorry bastard, but I got nothing but respect for the idea, Jack.
Conor McGregor: Oh you do? Fookin' 'ell mate, better indulge us all in this plan o' yours.
New Jack: HOLD UP MUTHAFUCKAS! HOLD UP!
Everyone in the room stops talking and looks over at New Jack
New Jack: DOES ANYONE HAVE THE LIL SPINNY PART FOR THE TWISTER BOARD?
Conor McGregor: The fookin' what?
New Jack: THE SPINNY TWISTER PART
Conor McGregor: I gotta say im slightly intrigued by this, why the fook do you need it?
New jack reaches around in his pockets, before pulling this out of one of his pockets...
Everyone looks at each other, then back at New Jack, then back at each other. Then they burst out laughing and the scene slowly fades out...
