Post by Priscilla Kelly on Jul 14, 2020 10:10:20 GMT -5
Another gutterball. Maeve's shoulders sag as her eyes dart up to the scoreboard, taking visual note that this is here fifth gutterball in a row. Before that, is a sea of 1's and 2's, she's certainly not great at bowling.
Beefton
You sure you don't want the barriers up babe?
Maeve turns to face Beefton, who is sat down on the seats, ready for his turn to bowl.
Maeve
First of all, don't call me babe. It's Maeve. We're friends, okay?
Beefton
Alrighty… Maeverooni.
Maeve
And second, I can't put the barriers up! People are watching!
Beefton
But you'll have more fun, won't you? It's just to help you practice, you're just getting there!
Maeve
I think I'm getting worse actually.
Beefton
It's just your fingers getting tired. Been there, done that.
Maeve
What was that in reference to?
Beefton
Bowling? Why what- Oh! You thought I meant fingering girls in the bins behind the bowling alley?
Maeve
Well not necessarily in that specific location but I did think you were referring to girls yeah…
Beefton
Hey, the reason I'm so good at that, is cos I'm so good at this.
Beefton picks up a bowling ball, moves forward, and bowls. It clatters through all the pins, and the scoreboard above them displays a funky graphic featuring a Triceratops falling off a cliff into an exploding circus tent, before the words 'STRIKE!' emerge onto it. Maeve sighs.
Beefton
That's through practice, and I started with the barriers up. There's no shame in wanting to get better. You wouldn't laugh at a fat dude hitting the gym, would you?
Maeve
A lot of people would and have done that Beefton.
Beefton
What? Really!? That's so mean! They're just trying to better themselves!
Beefton looks sad. Maeve looks up at the board as it becomes her turn.
Maeve
It's okay, I'll just- it'll be fine, I think I've learned. I'll hit something this time!
Maeve runs forwards and bowls, Beefton making a conscious effort not to ogle her ass as she does so (he's clearly been told off earlier in the night for such a transgression). The ball flings straight out of Maeve's grip, and doesn't even touch the floor before landing squarely in the gutter.
Beefton
At least your bowling shoes look nice.
As she watches the ball roll down the gutter, Maeve looks down at the shoes bought for her by Beefton. They're disgustingly loud, covered in Guy Fieri esque flames, multiple rainbow patterns, and the US flag. On top of all of it, is Beefton's own face.
Maeve
Ummm… yeah. They fit really good.
Beefton
Perfect perfect. They cost a lot! But like, I wasn't willing to lose any of the patterns, y'know? Like, they're all so important to the design, which do you pick to get rid of?
Maeve
Maybe the US flag? I'm Filipino Canadian so…
Beefton looks down at his own, identical pair, except instead of his face on them, it's Maeve's.
Beefton
But the US flag looks nice don't you think? With the stars? And the blue?
Maeve
I guess…
Beefton gestures up to the screen above.
Beefton
Still your turn by the way ba- Maeve.
Maeve
Oh really? God.
Beefton
Ah… you not enjoying it?
Maeve
No I am. I am. I'm just- I'm not a very good bowler…
Beefton
Can I teach you?
Maeve
No! We're not doing the thing where you guide my hands and stuff, I know what you're hoping to get out of that.
Beefton
Alright then let me put the barriers up!
Maeve
No!
Beefton
If anyone makes fun of you, then- then I'll hit 'em.
Maeve looks up at Beefton sincerely.
Maeve
You will?
Beefton
I will hit them. Or at least, sternly tell them to stop making fun of you.
Maeve sighs, then smiles.
Maeve
Alright. Put 'em up.
Beefton
Woah. We sparring?
Beefton confusedly lifts his fists up, getting into a fighting pose.
Maeve
What?! No you dumbass, put the barriers up.
Beefton
Oh yeah! Of course!
Beefton presses a button on the control pad, and the barriers lift up. Maeve looks around, self-consciously, but no one seems to be looking, or mocking her, or laughing. She turns to Beefton, who gives her an eager head nod and a thumbs up. Maeve runs, and Beefton averts his gaze from her posterier, as Maeve throws the ball. It clatters off of the barriers a few times, before knocking down 5 pins.
Maeve
Five! That's my new best!
Beefton
Aaaaaayyyy!!! Well done Maeverooni! World Championship Bowling here we come!
Maeve chuckles, as Beefton looks ready to give her a hug, but after seeing Maeve doesn't look all too willing, instead looking to give her an awkward punch on her upper arm. Maeve turns last second though, and the jab lands firmly on her boob.
Beefton
Oh!
Maeve
Agh!
The pair stare at one another awkwardly, before Beefton for some reason puts his hands out and does the 'Ta Da' pose. He quickly abandons this after realising it makes absolutely no sense, and perhaps exacerbates the situation.
Beefton
I was trying to- your boob was-
Maeve
Let's not mention it.
Beefton
Let's not!
Trying to escape the situation, grabs a bowling ball quickly and bolts with it, throwing it down the lane before his pins have even been put in place. The ball smashes off of the mechanism placing the pins down, short circuiting it, and jamming it in place.
The pair gulp as they stare down the lane, before turning to see a rather bemused, minimum wage bowling alley worker. He looks down the lane with an annoyed expression, before pulling out a walkie talkie.
Bowling Alley Worker
Close down Lane 8. Someone threw the ball too early again.
From the other lanes, people start to turn and notice this, pointing and laughing at the mechanism at the end of the lane that now has smoke emanating from it. Beefton stands there, quite red faced, as people continue to mock and laugh.
CUT TO
The pair are now sat in the bowling alley diner, a quaint and colourful looking area where they sit with drinks. Beefton still looks a little embarassed, but Maeve just seems to be laughing.
Beefton
I don't know if I have the money to cover the fine, I spent all my money on these bowling shoes.
Maeve
Priscilla will cover it, I'm sure!
Beefton
Priscilla doesn't really look out for us grunts y'know? We're pretty interchangeable. The only guy on her security she'll listen to or care about, is S2.
Maeve thinks to what S2 said to Maeve earlier that day, when she was guiding Rockstar Spud to the Dining Room. She thinks of how S2 said that Priscilla won't listen to her, not over S2 at least, and her expression turns serious.
Maeve
Is that true?
Beefton
Yeah for real true. I should've been careful when I pushed him… this is a good paying job and I don't wanna lose it y'know?
Maeve
He deserved it though. He deserves more than that. Does Priscilla know how he is? Does she know he's that awful?
Beefton
I don't know. But I'm not gonna be the one to tell her, I ain't risking it and getting axed.
Maeve nods slowly. Beefton isn't aware of just how strongly he cemented Maeve's decision to keep quiet on what S2 did to her blanket.
Maeve
Let's talk about something else. Do you have any hobbies?
Beefton
Oh yeah! I like bowling, obviously. Me and my Uncle Rooker go all the time. Uncle Rook tries to get me into going to gun range with him, boy is it loud down there. Uugh, I actually like Play-Do. You know the squishy stuff. You can turn that into some good shit.
Maeve
Oh, umm, wow.
Beefton
Yeah so like, I get the Play-Do, and I make it into shit, and then I put like glue on it so it stays in place. So it's like I'm building like, statues y'know? Out of Play-Do. You should see my room, it's like a Play-Do museum!
Maeve
That's… interesting.
Beefton
What about you anyway? What's your hobbies?
Maeve
Oh well... art.
Beefton
Art?
Maeve
Yeah, I like painting. I've done it for ages, just a passion of mine.
Beefton
That's awesome! Can I see any of it?
Maeve
Umm, yeah sure.
Maeve chuckles nervously as she takes out her phone, scrolling through her art instagram before just handing the phone to Beefton.
Beefton
Woah! These are amazing!
Maeve
Thanks.
Maeve looks a little red-faced, as she sees Beefton looking genuinely enamoured in her artwork. His mouth goes agape, as he turns the phone towards her, showing a painting of a bald Asian man.
Beefton
Is this that assassin dude from John Wick 3!?
Maeve
No that's my dad Beefton.
Beefton
Wow, your dad looks fucking awesome!
Beefton double taps the phone, liking the picture.
Maeve
You realise you're on my account right-
Beefton
This is, legit, the best art I've ever seen. I want that picture of that bald dude on my wall.
Maeve
My dad? You want a picture of my dad on your wall?
Beefton
Is that creepy? He just looks fucking cool, and that's like, the best piece of art I've ever seen.
Maeve narrows her eyes at Beefton, before she realises, he's being entirely genuine. He really does love that piece of art. Maeve gulps, and then smiles.
Maeve
Umm- well, maybe yeah? If you want I guess? If you really like it.
Maeve looks confused, but very flattered. Beefton keeps scrolling through her instagram.
Beefton
Wait… I recognise this one.
He turns the phone to her to show a swirling painted sky.
Beefton
Where have I seen this before?
Maeve
I mean- you might've seen my blanket-
Beefton
I did! This is on your blanket! You have a blanket with your paintings on them?
Maeve
I mean, I did. My dad got me it, a personalized blanket, with all my art on it.
Beefton
Do you not have it anymore?
Maeve
No. It got ruined.
Beefton
Oh, can your dad get you a new one.
Maeve
He's dead Beefton.
Beefton freezes.
Beefton
Oh. I'm… I'm sorry Maeve.
Maeve
It's okay. He died a few years ago, he got me that as a… parting present.
Maeve's eyes fill up with tears. Beefton looks pained. He reaches his hand out to comfort Maeve, but stops himself before she notices. He doesn't want to invade her privacy, so stays on his side of the table.
Beefton
Let's talk about something else! Uuuugh- have you seen John Wick 3?
Maeve
Not yet. I'll be right back Beefton, I just need to go to the bathroom.
Beefton
Oh! Okay! Yeah sure! The food should be here soon?
Maeve
I'll be quick.
Maeve is up, moving across the bowling alley to the toilets. Beefton sits where he is, nodding to himself, realising Maeve's phone is still in his hand. The sudden urge to look through her phone hits him, but he stops himself, closing the phone off and placing it face down on the table.
He quickly takes out his own phone, and sees a few missed calls from his Uncle Rooker. He presses the button to ring his Uncle Rook, before putting the phone to his here. It picks up.
Uncle Rooker (over phone)
Yello.
Beefton
Yo yo yo Beefboy in tha' house!
Uncle Rooker
Kiddo! How's it going, fingered her by the bins yet?
Beefton
She's not a finger by the bins gal, Uncle Rook.
Uncle Rooker
Oh wow, special lady this one?
Beefton
Super special.
Uncle Rooker
She a take to a hotel room and bang her there kinda special?
Beefton
I think she's a not bang at all sorta special Uncle Rook.
Uncle Rooker
What!? Not bang at all!? What're you gay?
Beefton
I'm not gay Uncle Rooker, I just, I really like her. And, she like, demands respect and stuff, and I want to give her that. If she says no banging, or bin fingering, that's cool with me. I just want her to be happy.
Uncle Rooker
Wow… BEEFAY! Looks like you founds yourself Mrs. Beefton!
Beefton
I hope so Uncle Rook. She is perfect. Honestly just like, perfect. If you told me that if I left this date right now, I could shag the entire female cast of Baywatch in the mouth, I wouldn't do it.
Uncle Rooker
You wouldn't!? Not even Dwayne Johnson!?
Beefton
I said female cast Uncle Rook…
Uncle Rooker
Oh! Yeah! Yeah of course! Did you hear Dwayne Johnson? I think there was a bit of static there during our conversation that's not what I said.
Beefton
Oh okay Uncle Rook…
Uncle Rooker
I meant to say- I actually said… Delayne Bronwon? Who's this, super hot babe from the old Baywatch. She's female. She's got huge big boobs. And she's a real female woman. She's not a big muscular bald man… she's just a hot, big titted, big boobed, real female woman… from Baywatch.
Beefton
Okay Uncle Rook.
Uncle Rooker
I'm going under a tunnel Beefton… talk later. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!
Uncle Rooker hangs up. Beefton looks confused.
Beefton
What happened in that tunnel is he okay?
Beefton sits there by himself for a few moments tapping his foot.
Beefton
That Delayne Bronwon sounds pretty hot though.
From the kitchen of the diner, a Waiter stands, looking through the window of the door at Beefton, sat by himself. The Waiter turns, looking agitated.
Waiter
So, the foods ready to go. Can I not go now?
He awaits a reply, but is only met with a smile from the other figure in the kitchen, none other than the Scientist himself, S2.
S2
No. We wait for the girl to come back, that parts important.
Waiter
What's gonna happen here? Will it be bad?
S2
Am I not compensating you for your troubles?
Waiter
Yes but-
S2
Then shut the fuck up.
The Waiter nods, before turning to look back through the door window. He sees Maeve moving back over to the table, and turns to S2 hectically.
Waiter
She's back, she's coming back.
S2
Alright! So… which of these is the dude's?
Waiter
the chicken burger.
S2 moves over to Beefton's chicken burger with a grin, before lifting off the bun. Out of his pocket, he takes out a small sachet…
A sachet of Homuncumilk.
He rips it open, and squeezes it out onto the burger.
S2
Struck out on date one Beefton. Tut tut.
Back at the table, Maeve sits down, smiling a small smile at a concerned looking Beefton. He gives her a small wave.
Beefton
Hope you're okay.
Maeve
I'm good, sorry, I just… it's fine. Oh! Is this ours!
The Waiter moves over to the table with a forced smile, carrying the tray of meals for the pair. He places down Maeve's beef burger, and Beefton's chicken burger.
Maeve
Ooh, nice, thank you.
Beefton
Thank you.
Beefton smiles over at Maeve as she picks up her burger and takes a bite. She smiles back to him, and chuckles as a bit of tomato falls down her lip.
Maeve
Don't watch me eat.
Beefton
Sorry. I'm just, I'm glad you said yeah to the date. Even if you haven't, I've really enjoyed it. You are an awesome super babe- uh! Maeve! Awesome Super Maeve!
Maeve
Babe was alright in that context.
Maeve smiles, as Beefton looks pleased.
Beefton
Well! Awesome Super Babe it is!
Beefton grabs his chicken burger.
Maeve
I've enjoyed tonight too Beefton. It's been nice.
Beefton takes a bit of the chicken burger.
Maeve
A lot of the guys at Priscilla's have been really rude, and mean, and made it such a hard time for me, so I'm just really glad that-
Beefton
God you're so fucking hot.
Maeve
What?
Beefton
Holy shit. I wanna fuck you so hard right now.
Maeve is in disbelief, he expression drops, as Beefton lets the chicken burger splatter to the plate below.
Maeve
What did you just say!?
Beefton
Aw your fucking ass. Oh it's such a nice ass. Oh Maeve let me fuck your ass!
Beefton gets to his feet, moving around the table towards Maeve, but Maeve is to her feet quicker. She pushes Beefton away, and stands glaring at him, eyes wide. She's distraught.
Maeve
What the fuck!?!?! Are you fucking kidding me Beefton!?! What happened to respecting my fucking boundaries!?!!
Beefton
Oh fuck Maeve I wanna fuck that fat ass so bad!!! Please!!! Please I'll do anything!!!
Maeve
You piece of shit Beefton!!! I thought you were a good fucking guy!!! You mother fucker!!!
Maeve is in tears in seconds, before storming away from the table, away from Beefton. Eyes glazed over, Beefton shouts after her.
Beefton
Let me finger you behind the bins!
Beefton watches Maeve leave, before his eyes wander to look around the bowling alley.
Beefton
Does anyone wanna fuck!?
From the corner of the Bowling Alley, a rather repulsive looking woman stands up.
'Sunny' Sytch
Yeah alright.
And as Beefton bolts off in her direction, S2 stands and watches through the window of the door, laughing aloud to himself. He throws a few hard pats across the back of the shocked Waiter next to him.
S2
Thanks for your help, that went off perfect! Oh man, this is some good shit.
And S2 gives out another uproarious laugh, as the segment fades out.
