Post by Phil Goode on Jul 13, 2020 20:56:28 GMT -5
He’s in the gym, pumping iron and working on his body.
He’s in an empty stadium, practicing his mic skills and crowd interaction.
He’s right in your home, eyeballing your sweet, innocence daughter.
He’s the ONE.
He’s the ONLY
He’s Phil Goode.
Inside of the newly constructed DAMN… GYM, Goode can be seen squatting 450 pounds, soaking sweat, and breathing heavily. One Plus One by Large Professor and Nas, is playing from his JBL speaker, and it seems to be getting everyone in the room hyped up. A month’s supply of HOMUNCUMILK is stored in the gym’s refrigerator and it is kept at exactly 40 degrees Fahrenheit to preserve the precious drink’s flavor/viscosity. Goode finishes his last rep and then drops the workout bar on the floor behind him. After a 5-minute stretch, Phil Goode wraps up his daily rehab on that injured knee... the one that everyone is familiar with now. He puts on a freshly pressed maroon velour sweatsuit and heads over to the manager of the gym.
(Strutting alongside a wall mirror… idolizing himself) Hey uh… bossman you gotta second there? What would a “3-time football Florida State All-American” have to say about this physique?
Do you like it?
(His back is turned but he strategically turns and looks directly into the camera) DAMN.
(Wondering if the response is goode or not) Umm, ok. I know that’s like… your THING but what does it even mean? I always felt like I had the wrong interpretation of it. You do that so often; I was actually concerned you had CTE or something.
(He looks directly into the camera again) DAMN.
(The gym boss sits down in chair that is shaped like a “D”) DAMN.
(Marveling at the trophies and accolades that decorate the room) Wow, you got some serious history in here. Championship belts, actual pieces of the mat, pictures with every legend in this business, and oh look, I can’t forget… THE black tank top. I really admire your work. You know exactly how to break someone’s spine, you’re ferocious. I need something like that in my life and in my corner. I love your commitment to wrestling man honestly, I grew up watching you and Bradshaw.
(He moves into a vertical stance, with his hands on the table, and then looks directly into the camera for a third time) DAMN.
(Opening his mouth to utter the sweetest 4-letter word in the English dictionary) DAMN… ya left me speechless kid.
To keep it real with ya son, I DO have a wide vocabulary… believe it or not. My knowledge of words expands far beyond the Great Walls of China and the other wonders of the world. It’s just... (deep sigh) people out there today... they got the shortest attention span. It's crazy, you gotta get em fast. Ya gotta get em hard and... GOODE.
What’s more memorable than a Black guy being at the right place… at the right time… to deliver a white-washed “Nigga What?” It fits man. It’s all I can do right now. That’s the only thing this business has to offer me at the moment… unfortunately. Like look, listen, nobody wants to hear my position on the current Presidential Election. If they don’t care about what Ja Rule has to say, then they definitely aint gonna bat an eye at this old alley cat. My days in the ring are done, that’s the honest truth and I’ve come to accept it. But that’s the exact reason why when I see sum young fresh talent like yaself, I get excited about wrestling again. You guys go out there and do things my generation never did and its DAMN GOODE. You even gotta little catchphrase getting over too. I like that. I like that a lot. I can I say it for the one time?
(Getting his pipes ready) MHMMMMMMMMM. UMMMMMMM. OOMMMMM. (coughing and hucking up phlegm) AHHH ok. WOOO ok. Alright, so I been watching ya, let me know how I do it.
(Now ready to go) Ok I’m goode to go. (Long deep breath in and then out) I got this. BOOM. (Still a bit hesitant) FIRST THINGS FIRST… FROM… FAROOQ!
As soon as Farooq bellows out his own version of the “First Things First” slogan, there is a sharp cut to Gillette Stadium, the home of the New England Patriots. Public Service Announcement by Jay-Z hits and Phil Goode dashes out of the tunnel. He sprints to the 50-yard line, but it is clear that he is still not 100%. He kicks both of his shoes off and sits kriss-kross applesauce embracing the imaginary fans screaming his name. Holding an invisible mic, Goode launches a see-through AWF branded mic flag and starts his tirade.
(Indulging in his own madness) Oh baby… it feels so GOODE. Almost as GOODE as seeing Tom Brady do what most old fucks in New England do anyway…. you know? Move to Florida when you’re washed up, am I right?
Yeah, yeah whatever. Let me have a few words please, geez. (Waiting for the fans to shut up) Ok, everything’s GOODE when it’s ALL ABOUT AUSTIN. You get what you deserve, when its ALL ABOUT AUSTIN.
(Giggling, rocking back and forth. A staccato cadence exits from his body) Opportunities. Chances. And Moments. (Heavy breathing, damn near hyper-ventilating) To prove yourself in the ring. No Politics. No Favorites. No Games. Just simply, the art of wrasslin’.
(Stone-faced and deranged) And I did just that.
No no… I’m actually glad “the Book” is back and better than ever. (Slight pause) We love it don’t we (sarcastically)?
(More stern, concise, and aware of his surroundings) I’ll put it like this. Last week, I made my mark in this industry. The people will remember Primetime 8 even after I’m long gone. The Night of a Goode Day and the Aging Dead… I can hear it! Oh lord I can hear it; it sounds absolutely beautiful.
He’s in an empty stadium, practicing his mic skills and crowd interaction.
He’s right in your home, eyeballing your sweet, innocence daughter.
He’s the ONE.
He’s the ONLY
He’s Phil Goode.
Inside of the newly constructed DAMN… GYM, Goode can be seen squatting 450 pounds, soaking sweat, and breathing heavily. One Plus One by Large Professor and Nas, is playing from his JBL speaker, and it seems to be getting everyone in the room hyped up. A month’s supply of HOMUNCUMILK is stored in the gym’s refrigerator and it is kept at exactly 40 degrees Fahrenheit to preserve the precious drink’s flavor/viscosity. Goode finishes his last rep and then drops the workout bar on the floor behind him. After a 5-minute stretch, Phil Goode wraps up his daily rehab on that injured knee... the one that everyone is familiar with now. He puts on a freshly pressed maroon velour sweatsuit and heads over to the manager of the gym.
Phil Goode
(Strutting alongside a wall mirror… idolizing himself) Hey uh… bossman you gotta second there? What would a “3-time football Florida State All-American” have to say about this physique?
Flexing his hairy 26-inch pythons like the Goodemaniac he is.
Do you like it?
Gym Boss
Phil Goode
(Wondering if the response is goode or not) Umm, ok. I know that’s like… your THING but what does it even mean? I always felt like I had the wrong interpretation of it. You do that so often; I was actually concerned you had CTE or something.
Gym Boss
Inviting Goode into his office with a simple hand gesture and pointing motion.
Gym Boss
(The gym boss sits down in chair that is shaped like a “D”) DAMN.
Phil Goode
(Marveling at the trophies and accolades that decorate the room) Wow, you got some serious history in here. Championship belts, actual pieces of the mat, pictures with every legend in this business, and oh look, I can’t forget… THE black tank top. I really admire your work. You know exactly how to break someone’s spine, you’re ferocious. I need something like that in my life and in my corner. I love your commitment to wrestling man honestly, I grew up watching you and Bradshaw.
Gym Boss
(He moves into a vertical stance, with his hands on the table, and then looks directly into the camera for a third time) DAMN.
Goode says nothing for about 75 seconds.
(Opening his mouth to utter the sweetest 4-letter word in the English dictionary) DAMN… ya left me speechless kid.
Another 75 seconds comes and goes.
To keep it real with ya son, I DO have a wide vocabulary… believe it or not. My knowledge of words expands far beyond the Great Walls of China and the other wonders of the world. It’s just... (deep sigh) people out there today... they got the shortest attention span. It's crazy, you gotta get em fast. Ya gotta get em hard and... GOODE.
Goode’s jaw might be knocking on hell’s door.
Gym Boss
What’s more memorable than a Black guy being at the right place… at the right time… to deliver a white-washed “Nigga What?” It fits man. It’s all I can do right now. That’s the only thing this business has to offer me at the moment… unfortunately. Like look, listen, nobody wants to hear my position on the current Presidential Election. If they don’t care about what Ja Rule has to say, then they definitely aint gonna bat an eye at this old alley cat. My days in the ring are done, that’s the honest truth and I’ve come to accept it. But that’s the exact reason why when I see sum young fresh talent like yaself, I get excited about wrestling again. You guys go out there and do things my generation never did and its DAMN GOODE. You even gotta little catchphrase getting over too. I like that. I like that a lot. I can I say it for the one time?
Goode doesn’t speak, he simply nods and lets the boss continue.
Gym Boss
(Getting his pipes ready) MHMMMMMMMMM. UMMMMMMM. OOMMMMM. (coughing and hucking up phlegm) AHHH ok. WOOO ok. Alright, so I been watching ya, let me know how I do it.
The Gym Boss shakes both of his heads, wiggles his fingers, and claps his hands.
Gym Boss
(Now ready to go) Ok I’m goode to go. (Long deep breath in and then out) I got this. BOOM. (Still a bit hesitant) FIRST THINGS FIRST… FROM… FAROOQ!
As soon as Farooq bellows out his own version of the “First Things First” slogan, there is a sharp cut to Gillette Stadium, the home of the New England Patriots. Public Service Announcement by Jay-Z hits and Phil Goode dashes out of the tunnel. He sprints to the 50-yard line, but it is clear that he is still not 100%. He kicks both of his shoes off and sits kriss-kross applesauce embracing the imaginary fans screaming his name. Holding an invisible mic, Goode launches a see-through AWF branded mic flag and starts his tirade.
Phil Goode
(Indulging in his own madness) Oh baby… it feels so GOODE. Almost as GOODE as seeing Tom Brady do what most old fucks in New England do anyway…. you know? Move to Florida when you’re washed up, am I right?
The noise of silent boo's is deafening.
Yeah, yeah whatever. Let me have a few words please, geez. (Waiting for the fans to shut up) Ok, everything’s GOODE when it’s ALL ABOUT AUSTIN. You get what you deserve, when its ALL ABOUT AUSTIN.
Daydreaming.
(Giggling, rocking back and forth. A staccato cadence exits from his body) Opportunities. Chances. And Moments. (Heavy breathing, damn near hyper-ventilating) To prove yourself in the ring. No Politics. No Favorites. No Games. Just simply, the art of wrasslin’.
Here comes the night terror.
(Stone-faced and deranged) And I did just that.
Phil Goode
For everyone who thought the main card was lost, and the reign of R(P).Kelly would last forever… I am here to ease your pain. I am here to be the beckon of light at the end of that very tunnel (pointing to the tunnel he ran out of previously). Hey guys, I'm King Booker. I'm the commissioner.
Laughing at his impersonation.
No no… I’m actually glad “the Book” is back and better than ever. (Slight pause) We love it don’t we (sarcastically)?
Phil Goode
(More stern, concise, and aware of his surroundings) I’ll put it like this. Last week, I made my mark in this industry. The people will remember Primetime 8 even after I’m long gone. The Night of a Goode Day and the Aging Dead… I can hear it! Oh lord I can hear it; it sounds absolutely beautiful.
Goode lifts up both of his hands and gets them into a catching/receiving position. His head sinks toward his feet and he leaves it there for a bit. Slowly bringing his cranium back up, Goode smiles and Blackout.