Post by Mag Aluf on Jul 12, 2020 19:20:02 GMT -5
As the program resumes, we are found in the bar of the TD Garden. Various patrons stand around the room, most wearing shirts adorned with their favourite AWF personality, most are overweight and the musk in the air is thick and soupy, like the contents of a used condom discarded on the arm of a park bench after a night of debauchery between two homeless people, or between an unaware night-time jogger and a randy hobo with the element of surprise.
Speaking of randy hobos; the Roofie King himself, Mag Aluf, stands at the bar surrounded by a small crowd. He nurses a bottle Smirnoff Ice as he chats to his fans. Multiple more bottles of Smirnoff sit on the bar, ready to be consumed.
Mag Aluf
So that's when I said - get this bro - that's when I said "Bitch, I thought that was your ass!"
The small crowd of admirers burst into hearty laughter. A few of the women even faint, according to Mag.
Slut
Oh Mr. Aluf, you're just so witty.
Mag turns to the girl.
Mag Aluf
Please, slut, call me...
He softly strokes a thumb against her bottom lip.
Mag Aluf
Daddy.
The woman swoons as the words leave Mag's mouth, she falls to the floor comically. Mag spits in her mouth.
Mag Aluf
Oedipus? More like Oedi-Puss, bro.
Mag takes another sip of his refreshing Smirnoff Ice as a small man wearing an oversized headset pushes his way through the crowd. His shirt says "Production" in large white lettering.
Production Crewman
Mr. Aluf? I have been sent to inform you of your match later tonight. You'll be fac-
Mag holds an open palm up to the crewman's face, stopping him in his tracks. Mag lifts his now-empty bottle to his lips and proceeds to motion as if he were drinking, including over-the-top gulping. The crewman stands there, a disgruntled look on his face as he is being kept from continuing with his duties.
Crewman
Sir, I just nee-
Mag now holds just his index finger to the worker, pressing his nose slightly as Mag continues to 'drink' from the empty bottle. After another solid 10-seconds of faux-drinking, Mag places the bottle back on the bar, complete with a "Ahh" sound to express his refreshment.
Mag Aluf
Bro, never interrupt a guy during his beveragini.
Mag suddenly gives a swift headbutt to the crewman, who's forehead quickly begins bleeding: however not due to the force of the headbutt but instead due to the sheer amount of hairspray in the Guido's hair causing it to cleanly slice through the crewman's face. The crewman sinks to the floor as the crowd gently dissipates, he lands next to the aforementioned woman. Mag throws a thumb over his shoulder to point behind him at the bar.
Mag Aluf
All business goes through my fuckin' manager! Unless it's J-Biebs wanting to collab on my next fire beat, that gay shit don't concern me!
A mass of long, straight ginger hair slowly rises from behind the bar. Shy Ron appears to have been hiding behind there to avoid the unavoidable confrontation Mag Aluf is always certain to find. The crewman looks up as Mag Aluf walks off. Shy Ron slowly makes his way from the bar to the crewman, walking with his knees together.
Crewman
Mag...Aluf... Tonight, Big Homunculus, Orange Cassidy, Barron Boneius, Dyno-Mike, Tyler Breeze, Phil Goode, Laci Valentine, Raging Dead, Ruxx Rampede.
Shy Ron kneels down as the crewman lists off the other men (and woman) in his match, Shy Ron nervously notes down the names on a small notepad he removed from under his skirt. He finishes noting and replaces the pad. As he stands again, he notices a small drop of blood on his white sneakers that has found it's way from the crewman's cut. Shy Ron looks down at the injured man.
Crewman
P-Please... get...H-help... I think... I'm dying.
Shy Ron looks back down at the blood and then back to the crewman.
Shy Ron
Omae wa mou shindeiru.
The crewman looks up to Ron, a look of fear in his eyes.
Crewman
N-Nani?
Without a second for reflection, Shy Ron grabs the full bottle of Smirnoff Ice from the bar, smashes it on the barside to leave a sharp edge and thrusts the shiv into the crewman's throat. Blood pours from the bottle as the life fades from the crewman's eyes.
Shy Ron
Heso wa suika o sodateru.
Mag Aluf returns to the bar, looking down he sees what his manager has done. His eyes widen as he looks from the bloody corpse, up to Shy Ron, and back down again.
Mag Aluf
Bro.. What the FUCK?!
Shy Ron doesn't respond, he just places both index fingers end-to-end and twists them to show how shy he is. Mag Aluf falls to his knees at the side of the crewman, tears starting to form behind his sunglasses.
Mag Aluf
Y...You...
Mag looks back down to the mangled throat of the crewman.
Mag Aluf
YOU SPILLED MY FUCKING SMIRNOFF ICE, BRO!
Shy Ron quickly reaches back over to the bar and grabs another of the many Smirnoff Ice bottles, he hands the bottle to Mag. Aluf takes the bottle and gets back to his feet, he takes a sip and nods slightly, not concerned with the body on the floor. He pats his manager on the back and leads him out of the door.
Mag Aluf
So bro, what was that narc saying about tonight? Mag Aluf has some pussy that needs pounding so it better be good.
The camera pans back from the exit to the woman who had passed out earlier, her blonde hair now tinted pink from the blood of the man laying next to her. She glances over the the corpse and screams while the camera fades out.
Speaking of randy hobos; the Roofie King himself, Mag Aluf, stands at the bar surrounded by a small crowd. He nurses a bottle Smirnoff Ice as he chats to his fans. Multiple more bottles of Smirnoff sit on the bar, ready to be consumed.
Mag Aluf
So that's when I said - get this bro - that's when I said "Bitch, I thought that was your ass!"
The small crowd of admirers burst into hearty laughter. A few of the women even faint, according to Mag.
Slut
Oh Mr. Aluf, you're just so witty.
Mag turns to the girl.
Mag Aluf
Please, slut, call me...
He softly strokes a thumb against her bottom lip.
Mag Aluf
Daddy.
The woman swoons as the words leave Mag's mouth, she falls to the floor comically. Mag spits in her mouth.
Mag Aluf
Oedipus? More like Oedi-Puss, bro.
Mag takes another sip of his refreshing Smirnoff Ice as a small man wearing an oversized headset pushes his way through the crowd. His shirt says "Production" in large white lettering.
Production Crewman
Mr. Aluf? I have been sent to inform you of your match later tonight. You'll be fac-
Mag holds an open palm up to the crewman's face, stopping him in his tracks. Mag lifts his now-empty bottle to his lips and proceeds to motion as if he were drinking, including over-the-top gulping. The crewman stands there, a disgruntled look on his face as he is being kept from continuing with his duties.
Crewman
Sir, I just nee-
Mag now holds just his index finger to the worker, pressing his nose slightly as Mag continues to 'drink' from the empty bottle. After another solid 10-seconds of faux-drinking, Mag places the bottle back on the bar, complete with a "Ahh" sound to express his refreshment.
Mag Aluf
Bro, never interrupt a guy during his beveragini.
Mag suddenly gives a swift headbutt to the crewman, who's forehead quickly begins bleeding: however not due to the force of the headbutt but instead due to the sheer amount of hairspray in the Guido's hair causing it to cleanly slice through the crewman's face. The crewman sinks to the floor as the crowd gently dissipates, he lands next to the aforementioned woman. Mag throws a thumb over his shoulder to point behind him at the bar.
Mag Aluf
All business goes through my fuckin' manager! Unless it's J-Biebs wanting to collab on my next fire beat, that gay shit don't concern me!
A mass of long, straight ginger hair slowly rises from behind the bar. Shy Ron appears to have been hiding behind there to avoid the unavoidable confrontation Mag Aluf is always certain to find. The crewman looks up as Mag Aluf walks off. Shy Ron slowly makes his way from the bar to the crewman, walking with his knees together.
Crewman
Mag...Aluf... Tonight, Big Homunculus, Orange Cassidy, Barron Boneius, Dyno-Mike, Tyler Breeze, Phil Goode, Laci Valentine, Raging Dead, Ruxx Rampede.
Shy Ron kneels down as the crewman lists off the other men (and woman) in his match, Shy Ron nervously notes down the names on a small notepad he removed from under his skirt. He finishes noting and replaces the pad. As he stands again, he notices a small drop of blood on his white sneakers that has found it's way from the crewman's cut. Shy Ron looks down at the injured man.
Crewman
P-Please... get...H-help... I think... I'm dying.
Shy Ron looks back down at the blood and then back to the crewman.
Shy Ron
Omae wa mou shindeiru.
The crewman looks up to Ron, a look of fear in his eyes.
Crewman
N-Nani?
Without a second for reflection, Shy Ron grabs the full bottle of Smirnoff Ice from the bar, smashes it on the barside to leave a sharp edge and thrusts the shiv into the crewman's throat. Blood pours from the bottle as the life fades from the crewman's eyes.
Shy Ron
Heso wa suika o sodateru.
Mag Aluf returns to the bar, looking down he sees what his manager has done. His eyes widen as he looks from the bloody corpse, up to Shy Ron, and back down again.
Mag Aluf
Bro.. What the FUCK?!
Shy Ron doesn't respond, he just places both index fingers end-to-end and twists them to show how shy he is. Mag Aluf falls to his knees at the side of the crewman, tears starting to form behind his sunglasses.
Mag Aluf
Y...You...
Mag looks back down to the mangled throat of the crewman.
Mag Aluf
YOU SPILLED MY FUCKING SMIRNOFF ICE, BRO!
Shy Ron quickly reaches back over to the bar and grabs another of the many Smirnoff Ice bottles, he hands the bottle to Mag. Aluf takes the bottle and gets back to his feet, he takes a sip and nods slightly, not concerned with the body on the floor. He pats his manager on the back and leads him out of the door.
Mag Aluf
So bro, what was that narc saying about tonight? Mag Aluf has some pussy that needs pounding so it better be good.
The camera pans back from the exit to the woman who had passed out earlier, her blonde hair now tinted pink from the blood of the man laying next to her. She glances over the the corpse and screams while the camera fades out.