Post by Big Homunculus on Jul 12, 2020 14:10:06 GMT -5
In Black Clyde's gym, Big Homunculus is stretching off after an intense gym session with Black Clyde. Ruxx is probably busy surfing but in a disciplined way this time so as not to serve as a distraction to his training, because it's good to have interests outside of wrestling. We all need to unwind.
Black Clyde helps Big Homunculus position himself in some more advanced stretches to maximise the benefits of the workout. They're only wearing shorts and their shredded bodies contort together in a manner that would cause lesser men to say "no homo", however Black and Big are comfortable with who they are and understand what they are doing is for the purpose of athletic performance, and not motivated by sexual attraction.
Across the gym, Ice T stares at them, not blinking.
They talk as they get into continuously more complicated and entangled stretches.
Black Clyde helps Big Homunculus position himself in some more advanced stretches to maximise the benefits of the workout. They're only wearing shorts and their shredded bodies contort together in a manner that would cause lesser men to say "no homo", however Black and Big are comfortable with who they are and understand what they are doing is for the purpose of athletic performance, and not motivated by sexual attraction.
Across the gym, Ice T stares at them, not blinking.
They talk as they get into continuously more complicated and entangled stretches.
Black Clyde
You gonna take a shower before meeting that bad li'l bitch Hayley Littleton?
Big Homunculus
No, I think she enjoys the natural musk of a man's man, so if anything, I will emphasise the stench. To that end, feel free to sweat on me.
Black Clyde
That's a smart gameplan, you working harder and smarter. All about efficiency. To that end, I was gonna suggest we shower together to save water but I see that won't be necessary.
Ice T
(whispering under his breath)
Yes. Yesssss. Come on.
Big Homunculus
Good idea but I am trying to give off a more manly, cooler image to Hayley Littleton. I was speaking with my good friend Jerome Hathersage last night-
Black Clyde
Wait, what? You know my good friend Jerome Hathersage!?
Big Homunculus
I am good friends with your good friend Jerome Hathersage.
Black Clyde
Shiiiiiiiiiit he did mentioned an impossibly tall friend he has who is from a pygmy tribe in unexplored central Africa!
Big Homunculus
Oh my goodness! He also speaks to me about a friend he has who is very tall and from a pygmy tribe in unexplored central Africa. He's been taking to us both about the same man!
Black Clyde
He has another friend with your exact back story?
Big Homunculus
I never thought about it like that, but I suppose he does.
Black Clyde
Have you ever thought about meeting up with this other giant dwarf?
Big Homunculus
No, he sounds like a freak.
Black Clyde
I see.
Big Homunculus
So anyway, my good friend your good friend Jerome Hathersage encouraged me to try and come across as cool to Hayley, so that she doesn't think I am intense and emotional all the time; constantly driven by rejection and alienation.
Black Clyde
Motherfuckin' Jerome Hathersage has never had a bad opinion. So you just gonna walk in and sweat up the joint with your Homuncu-sweat or you got more up your sleeve?
Big Homunculus
It is funny you should mention sleeves....
Black Clyde
Are you going to finish that thought?
Big Homunculus
No.
CUT TO:
A city street on a hot day, with heat distortion rippling across the horizon. As Big Homunculus' dome crests the horizon, music starts to play.
As the rest of Homunculus' body comes into view we see he is wearing Orange Cassidy's trademark aviators and his body is tightly packed into Orange Cassidy's trademark whitewash denim. It's so undersized that simply walking down the street is utterly exhausting Homunculus. The clothing is constricting his breathing and as the cool music serenades his walk, he gasps for oxygen and crumbles to his knees as he reaches the coffee shop to meet Hayley Littleton.
Big H weakly grasps at the door handle in futility, with the weakening posture of a man caught in Undertaker's Hell's Gate submission move. But Homunculus cannot tap out of this, he has to continue looking cool. Fortunately, a kind stranger passes by and opens the door for Homunculus who then crawls into the coffee shop.
Once in the relative shade of the shop, he realises the thick aviators are almost blinding him and crawls around aimlessly on the floor while panting for air. He could just take the aviators off but he has to look as cool as possible and continues crawling around until he knocks over a table, spilling coffee on an old lady. When Homunculus hears the screams he is embarrassed, but then he hears the rest of the coffee shop laughing at the old lady and realises his plan is working perfectly.
You gonna take a shower before meeting that bad li'l bitch Hayley Littleton?
Big Homunculus
No, I think she enjoys the natural musk of a man's man, so if anything, I will emphasise the stench. To that end, feel free to sweat on me.
Black Clyde
That's a smart gameplan, you working harder and smarter. All about efficiency. To that end, I was gonna suggest we shower together to save water but I see that won't be necessary.
Ice T
(whispering under his breath)
Yes. Yesssss. Come on.
Big Homunculus
Good idea but I am trying to give off a more manly, cooler image to Hayley Littleton. I was speaking with my good friend Jerome Hathersage last night-
Black Clyde
Wait, what? You know my good friend Jerome Hathersage!?
Big Homunculus
I am good friends with your good friend Jerome Hathersage.
Black Clyde
Shiiiiiiiiiit he did mentioned an impossibly tall friend he has who is from a pygmy tribe in unexplored central Africa!
Big Homunculus
Oh my goodness! He also speaks to me about a friend he has who is very tall and from a pygmy tribe in unexplored central Africa. He's been taking to us both about the same man!
Black Clyde
He has another friend with your exact back story?
Big Homunculus
I never thought about it like that, but I suppose he does.
Black Clyde
Have you ever thought about meeting up with this other giant dwarf?
Big Homunculus
No, he sounds like a freak.
Black Clyde
I see.
By this point Clyde and Homunculus are as entangled as earphones that have been in your pocket all day.
Big Homunculus
So anyway, my good friend your good friend Jerome Hathersage encouraged me to try and come across as cool to Hayley, so that she doesn't think I am intense and emotional all the time; constantly driven by rejection and alienation.
Black Clyde
Motherfuckin' Jerome Hathersage has never had a bad opinion. So you just gonna walk in and sweat up the joint with your Homuncu-sweat or you got more up your sleeve?
Big Homunculus
It is funny you should mention sleeves....
A long beat.
Black Clyde
Are you going to finish that thought?
Big Homunculus
No.
CUT TO:
In a dressing room, a carton of orange juice sits on a table, next to some aviator sunglasses. All we can see is the juice and the aviators, while the sound of a wardrobe being open is heard and a hangar being removed.
Some long fingers creep into view and snatch the sunglasses.
In a dressing room, a carton of orange juice sits on a table, next to some aviator sunglasses. All we can see is the juice and the aviators, while the sound of a wardrobe being open is heard and a hangar being removed.
Some long fingers creep into view and snatch the sunglasses.
CUT TO:
A city street on a hot day, with heat distortion rippling across the horizon. As Big Homunculus' dome crests the horizon, music starts to play.
As the rest of Homunculus' body comes into view we see he is wearing Orange Cassidy's trademark aviators and his body is tightly packed into Orange Cassidy's trademark whitewash denim. It's so undersized that simply walking down the street is utterly exhausting Homunculus. The clothing is constricting his breathing and as the cool music serenades his walk, he gasps for oxygen and crumbles to his knees as he reaches the coffee shop to meet Hayley Littleton.
Big H weakly grasps at the door handle in futility, with the weakening posture of a man caught in Undertaker's Hell's Gate submission move. But Homunculus cannot tap out of this, he has to continue looking cool. Fortunately, a kind stranger passes by and opens the door for Homunculus who then crawls into the coffee shop.
Once in the relative shade of the shop, he realises the thick aviators are almost blinding him and crawls around aimlessly on the floor while panting for air. He could just take the aviators off but he has to look as cool as possible and continues crawling around until he knocks over a table, spilling coffee on an old lady. When Homunculus hears the screams he is embarrassed, but then he hears the rest of the coffee shop laughing at the old lady and realises his plan is working perfectly.
Hayley Littleton
Hey Homunculus, over here!
Hey Homunculus, over here!
His sight compromised, Homunculus' other senses have already adapted and become sharper, so he can easily use the acoustics of her voice to paint a mental picture of the entire coffee shop and coolly slides into the chair across from her.
Hayley takes a moment to fully comprehend the sight before her. Homunculus, drenched in sweat, which accentuates just how impossibly tight his denim is. Veins pop out of his forehead as he gasps for oxygen. Her nose wrinkles at the stench of post workout sweat coming from him. But then she smiles a little.
Hayley takes a moment to fully comprehend the sight before her. Homunculus, drenched in sweat, which accentuates just how impossibly tight his denim is. Veins pop out of his forehead as he gasps for oxygen. Her nose wrinkles at the stench of post workout sweat coming from him. But then she smiles a little.
Hayley Littleton
You smell good. Been working out?
Big Homunculus
Yes. Notice anything else?
Hayley Littleton
Where did you get those clothes?
You smell good. Been working out?
Big Homunculus
Yes. Notice anything else?
Hayley Littleton
Where did you get those clothes?
CUT TO:
In his dressing room, Orange Cassidy stands in his underwear looking at an empty wardrobe, deeply confused.
In his dressing room, Orange Cassidy stands in his underwear looking at an empty wardrobe, deeply confused.
Orange Cassidy
Why would someone take all 37 of my whitewashed denim outfits?
Why would someone take all 37 of my whitewashed denim outfits?
With a head and shoulders view of Orange Cassidy, one of his hands reaches down and comes back into frame with a lit cigarette. Where did it come from? How did he light it? Only he knows.
CUT TO:
In the coffee shop, Homunculus smiles smugly.
I just thought I'd show you a different side of myself. I can be a pretty cool guy once you get to know me.CUT TO:
In the coffee shop, Homunculus smiles smugly.
Big Homunculus
As the old lady who was scolded tries to exit the cafe, one of the button's on Homunculus' jacket pops off explosively and pings off her skull, knocking her unconscious.
Hayley Littleton
I see. Would you like to read some of what I've written?
I see. Would you like to read some of what I've written?
Hayley hands Homunculus a few pages of text in a binder and he holds it in front of his face, completely unable to read through the aviators.
Big Homunculus
Oh my goodness! Such a whimsical, poetic use of language. Hahaha, how did you think this part up? And the illutrations, amazing! Where did you get this picture of the 8th president of the USA grappling with a mule?
Hayley Littleton
When you're pretending to read something, it's best to be a little less specific. Maybe take of the sunglasses.
Oh my goodness! Such a whimsical, poetic use of language. Hahaha, how did you think this part up? And the illutrations, amazing! Where did you get this picture of the 8th president of the USA grappling with a mule?
Hayley Littleton
When you're pretending to read something, it's best to be a little less specific. Maybe take of the sunglasses.
Homunculus takes off the sunglasses, puts them on the table and begins reading the beginnings of his biography.
Hayley can't see H's face as he reads, as he holds the binder directly in front of him. When he is done reading puts the binder down, he is in floods of tears.
Hayley can't see H's face as he reads, as he holds the binder directly in front of him. When he is done reading puts the binder down, he is in floods of tears.
Big Homunculus
You have made me sound like a bastard.
Hayley Littleton
It's nothing personal - apart from motivation to make you look bad because you tried to break up my relationship - it's just that all you've given me to work with so far is that you took up wrestling because you just love to cause people pain for the sake of it. A lot of people consider that to be rather nasty. If there's actually another side to you then by all means surprise me, show me another side to you. Other than this, ahem, cool side you've shown me today. Have you ever loved anyone, for example? People relate to that.
You have made me sound like a bastard.
Hayley Littleton
It's nothing personal - apart from motivation to make you look bad because you tried to break up my relationship - it's just that all you've given me to work with so far is that you took up wrestling because you just love to cause people pain for the sake of it. A lot of people consider that to be rather nasty. If there's actually another side to you then by all means surprise me, show me another side to you. Other than this, ahem, cool side you've shown me today. Have you ever loved anyone, for example? People relate to that.
Homunculus looks at the sunglasses on the table and sees his oxygen-deprived face staring back at him, bursting out of the collar of the denim jacket like a black Mr. Mackey. It dawns on him that he may not look as cool as he thought. Jerome Hathersage was going to be so disappointed.
Big Homunculus
I shall give that some thought.
I shall give that some thought.
Homunculus stands up to leave, however the blood flow to his brain has been cut off for a ridiculously long time (he should really be dead) and he loses consciousness, crashing through a table.
Hayley's voice echoes through his brain, "Have you ever loved anyone........."
He sees a face, a slightly jowly older man, before everything goes black.
Hayley's voice echoes through his brain, "Have you ever loved anyone........."
He sees a face, a slightly jowly older man, before everything goes black.